Review for Channel Hopping
(#) pixied_secrets 2006-11-09 03:24:45 PM
Constructive criticism (this is me simply suggesting changes to make it more appealing to the eye palate): “I wasn´t used to be kept waiting.” could either be “I am not used to being kept waiting,” or “I wasn’t used to being kept waiting,” and
“Judging from what I saw in the mirror I could really use to have my eyebrows plucked again though.” could either be “Judging from what I saw in the mirror I could really use getting my eyebrows plucked again though.” or “Judging from what I saw in the mirror I could really go for getting my eyebrows plucked again.”
kudos. I’m loving this “serious” side of your writing. i'm hooked
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- Stories: 40148
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