Review for The Breaking Game
(#) pskotika00 2012-12-31 07:40:09 PM
It's suppose to be a crime-drama-romance and I think I've done a good job.It's a filling in the blanks story,spawned from wondering a few things.Example,Falco was a gang,what did they do? (I have some idea from the manga 'farewell beloved Falco',but details? Then there's the fact that Fox McCloud is a mercenary so clearly he has a dark side.I based his characterization off of his not so friendly self from the original starfox ,a bit of 64 flavor and filling in blanks.
Also,Wolf's a crook,so what does he do? If Starwolf and Starfox are both mercs,I imagine there being lots of gray there.
Now admittedly,I might need to work on pacing.There's also room for improvement.
Now,the slash element.It's there but it's not the whole plot.Truth is,there aren't that many decent chicks that get air time in starfox.In order to not have main OC's ,I had to throw the men together.I frequently have this problem in fiction.Poorly written females (KRYSTAL,I'M TALKING TO YOU) make them hard to work with because I detest them.While Krystal is a beauty,and her telepathy is cool,she was created so Fox McCloud could have a love interest ,its the truth.
Finally,OCs.I have to fill out the criminal underground somehow,so I had to throw them in.No sues,just background OC's,which I used the same tactic in 'Descend',background OCs and in universe characters as focus.
Now anyone else want to review it,be my guest,I am looking forward to your opinions.
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