Review for The Perks of Age

The Perks of Age

(#) Pyrasaur 2006-03-18

I can definitely see Cid and Vincent's relationship being as you described, but the story does a lot of telling and not much showing. Saying that they didn't really care whether anyone knew, for instance, doesn't have anywhere near as much effect as writing a scene where Cid and Vincent discuss it and come to the conclusion that they don't really care. Your characterization and writing mechanics are great, I'd just love to see you really get into the scene, build mood, develop the setting, show the guys' reactions and mannerisms and let the reader figure out for themselves what the relationship is like. Stuff like that can really make a story stronger.