Dear god, the professors are really blindly incompetent. They were caught with the evidence of the attack, and Flitwick just brushes it off like it never happened when they deny.
You know all those fics where Harry suddenly becomes a Dark Lord because everything just gets fucked over in his life, and ends up with a huge harem in the process? This story is like the perfect backdrop to something like that happening.
Bubba Granger? Is it wrong that I get an absolute kick out of that name? I think the only way you could have made that funnier is if you'd called him Bubba J, and had him mention that he liked Nascar and beer. Don't ask where that thought came from, we're both better off not knowing.
“I knew it! I knew that was just an experimental phase with Kathleen.”- this is officially my favorite sentence in the entire fic, just from what it implies. Does that make me mysoginistic? Probably, but Hermione with another girl would make just about any bloke smile.
Hmm, that episode with Astoria actually explains things. The reason that Hogwarts is claimed to be the safest place in the world, is because Dumbledore sweeps every happenstance that might contradict such a claim under the rug. He really is a shit headmaster, and the professors suck at doing their duty to their students.
Hehe, so I'm not the only one who noticed Sally Perks in the first book, but no subsequent even mention of her ever again. I don't think she's the only one either.
Author's response
Bubba's wife was called Betty-Lou, so I figured beer and NASCAR was entirely unnecessary.