Hello there! New reviewer here and just read this fic..
I'd like to start off by asking you to kindly ignore all grammatical and spelling errors that may have escaped me as I'm typing this on the tiny iPod keyboard at like 2 in the morning while hiding under my sheets. Okay, now we got that out of the way, onto the reviews!
It's a cliche idea, but hey, it's a cliche that I LOVE. I can never get enought of high school/college fics. There's something so ridiculously attractive about them. Unfortunately, there's only so much you can do with it. Drugs, alcohol, etc. That being said, you do an excellent job of writing it. It's super realistic, it's positively hilarious and it's tragic and frustrating. It may be a common idea, but you don't let the readers get bored of it.
I love the main characters mixture if friends and get thoughts. There are some really beautiful internal monologues like the China Doll one and the 'she's wrong in the head'. I loved those and those are the times I truly love Em. She's honest and vulnerable and it's a real pity she thinks it's a weakness. You've written those parts extremely well. Although your main character can get a bit annoying at times, but the flaws just make her more natural I guess.
Most of your complimentary characters are written very well with lovely depth. Each one is unique and it's just such a wonderful mix of contrasting people.
The sexual tension is incredible. What I mean to say is, it's super sexyhotsmutty heaven. That's all I can say on that.
Overall, I really enjoy this story and I'll probably be reading your other stuff (I think I already have read some). It's a great balance of humour(I'm not joking, there's some seriously funny shit, like I peed myself funny) , it's hot, it's progressive and it's great writing with little or no spelling errors (Like really good job on that, dude. I found like one spelling error in the entire story). It's always interesting and entertaining and keeps me constantly worried about Em's well being. She can be an annoying bitch but I couldn't help but fall a little in love with her. I'd say job well done.
Author's response
I'm gonna start off by thanking you from the bottom of my heart, I never expected to receive a wonderfully detailed and analytic review such as this one!
I have a special place in my heart for the high school/college stories for some reason though it's true what you just stated - there indeed aren't many ways to go with them. I'm glad I chose college era and my characters and twenty-somethings instead of sixteen so I have a few more choices than if this was about high school life only.
My main character is indeed annoying! See when I read stories with a rather irritating main character, I start to somehow love them despite the quirks and flaws, unlike when I read stories with mary sue kinda characters, I have to focus on trying to fight off great personal irritation towards the character that makes no mistakes and always says the right thing and it kind of ends up ruining the whole experience for me. Like with dialogue when the character always replies with the best line in the book and leaves all confrontations as the so called winner, and is always right and mature and thoughtful while everyone else is being unreasonable until the Mary Sue knocks some sense into them. You know the drill.
Em is so self-centered but somehow in an innocent way, she doesn't deliberately act like an immature bitch, but just hasn't got a great sense of empathy which is quite of a no no in functional human relationships.
I'm glad you've been able to look at Em close enough to see what I mean.
I'm sort of awestruck by that comment about spelling errors - I don't have spell check on my writing program so I would've expected a hell of a lot of more grammatic errors even though I try to proofread the chapters closely before posting.
Thanks again for the review, means a great deal to me! I started off writing this fic for my own amusement, thinking nobody else would find my attempts at humor worthy of their chuckles.
This made my entire week!
Oh, and I have to add that this thing about my other stuff is propably going to be a bit of a disappointment. I only have one other chaptered story here which is an old one. At times I can't even bare to read the old chapters hah cause even though I've gone through the story as I've re-posted it, trying to edit it, it still comes out as incoherent and inconsistant. I think it shows that I was like sixteen when I first started writing it - seven years can do miracles though I still see myself as a strictly mediocre amateur author lol.
The story 'Gravity' I haven't even been able to give any attention to. There's just the prologue type of thing there. It turned out to be a little more complicated than I thought. the words 'therapeutic purposes' had a nice ring to them at the time but I just don't have it in me to really get in to it.
So sorry, not much fun shit going on on my page! :D