(#) Ppsh 2015-10-11
Quite funny - Malfoy's death was just ridiculously funny. Unfortunately I find it utterly unbearable when someone renames characters. The two main characters in your story, you renamed to Americanized shit, for no real reason, and you didn't even limit it to dialogue but included it in descriptions etc. They're basically transformed into OC's as far as I'm concerned. A real pity given that it contributes absolutely nothing to the story as well.
Author's response
At least Malfoy's demise served some useful purpose! Joy!
Perhaps "rename" means something altogether different in UK English (assuming that's your language of choice). Here in America it means "to give something a different name." Had I given Harry and Hermione different names, I would certainly have shown them the respect of capitalizing their surnames ("American Shit") but then there would have been two characters running around with the same name and while that gives me an idea for a future plot device, it would have been quite confusing for all concerned.
As to making them OCs, well, I don't happen to like JKR's Harry and Hermione all that much (Sorry, Harry and Hermione) and to be frank, thousands of authors have ridden those canon personae into the ground. (That's another Americanism referring to the Old West, meaning to ride a horse until there was no life left in it and it simply collapsed.) If you prefer an angsty Harry and a neurotic Hermione, then JKR is da bomb! When you re-read her original books, please bear in mind that here in the Colonies, we received only the Americanized shit versions of her works, so that's all we have to work with.
As always, thanks for your thoughts (I guess that sounds a bit snarky, but no sarcasm intended).