alright, i just read through Katy's review. this chapter was so good that i didn't really pay attention to any of the technicalities. i know, oh em gee.
anyway, my mind ran over this a couple of times: her brow in a furrow, now, granted, that is proper english, but you usually don't see it written that way. suggestion: She turned around, furrowing her brow, and sat down next to me.
i don't know if i am over-analyzing this because it was pointed out, but.../To go back all the way, but on our separate ways/ is a little confusing. i don't really understand whether you're trying to convey that they could go back to the beginning of their relationship or they could just go their separate ways. it seems contradicting.
anyway…yea, i loved this chapter.
Author's response
Yeah, I wanted to change that "furrowed her brow" thing because it's such a... cliché? But I guess it is a fixed expression and you don't wanna mess with those...
The second thing, yeah. Totally agree with you, it is confusing. I just didn't wanna give up on the cul-de-sac imagery that's why I wrote the stuff after the :. Well, you know in the end they broke up so they went their separate ways without giving the relationship another chance.