Review for Lord of War

Lord of War

(#) Ithilwen 2006-12-16

You don't need to capitalize ordinary words like "library." Only put it in caps if it's a specific place, like, "The Manhattan Library of Bubble Gum" or something.

Why would an ordinary guy who's just doing homework have a saber? That's a bit out of the blue. If you want to foreshadow, try saying that the pipe was a good heft and had a nice grip, then later have the protagonist use the same words about the saber.

And it's "tae kwon do" or "taekwondo." A person whose only combat training is TKD would not be able to do that at yellow belt level. Try adding, "fortunately, I'd been taking kempo all my life," or whatever.