Review for The rose won't bloom
The rose won't bloom
(#) ebonyrose 2006-12-29 02:26:26 PM
I clicked onto your story because well, the name caught my eye. "The Rose wont Bloom" Very interesting indeed. Imagine my disappointment when I looked inside to find you had not written anything outside of character descriptions. I really believe that with proper tweaking you can make an incredible story. However character descriptions are not considered stories. They are something that should be kept along with you outline as referencing materials not published to the net.
Also, I would say that when writing it is always good to allow the characters to tell the reader how another character appears. It can be done in subtle ways. For instance insterad of saying Andrew has short spiky black hair. You can say Andrew pushed his fingers through the short strands of his spiky l onyx locks and laughed.
See, I basically just told you the same thing you told me but I let the characters speak. Last be sure to check your spelling. You don't want your readers stumbling along while trying to read your fic. Anyway, I hope you add more soon. I'd be interested in seeing where you're going with this.
Also, I would say that when writing it is always good to allow the characters to tell the reader how another character appears. It can be done in subtle ways. For instance insterad of saying Andrew has short spiky black hair. You can say Andrew pushed his fingers through the short strands of his spiky l onyx locks and laughed.
See, I basically just told you the same thing you told me but I let the characters speak. Last be sure to check your spelling. You don't want your readers stumbling along while trying to read your fic. Anyway, I hope you add more soon. I'd be interested in seeing where you're going with this.
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