Review for Low-Cal Diet
Low-Cal Diet
(#) Ithilwen 2006-04-20 04:26:06 PM
This would be a lot easier to read if you fixed up the formatting. Ficwad seems to have eaten some of your tabs. ...Ficwad needs a tab-free diet!
"Underbelly" is one word, but dark and plastic? Unique.
Do you mean "tapped" or "taped" to her mirror?
I think "fatass" is one word too.
"Its" does not need an apostrophe.
Hmmm... Where to post this indeed. Have you considered Horror? A few foreshadowy tweaks to the earlier portion and it would fit right in. If I were you, I'd allude to the idea that the woman's eating habits kept her body well-padded, but not say what those habits were. This isn't a humor piece, really, though the quirky last line would close it off nicely.
"Underbelly" is one word, but dark and plastic? Unique.
Do you mean "tapped" or "taped" to her mirror?
I think "fatass" is one word too.
"Its" does not need an apostrophe.
Hmmm... Where to post this indeed. Have you considered Horror? A few foreshadowy tweaks to the earlier portion and it would fit right in. If I were you, I'd allude to the idea that the woman's eating habits kept her body well-padded, but not say what those habits were. This isn't a humor piece, really, though the quirky last line would close it off nicely.
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