Review for Peace of Mind
The last line, however, is quite Hermione.
Minor grammar etc. nits: A stray period here, a comma missing there. There are lots of places where you should use the past perfect instead of the regular past tense. It's nothing that gets in the way of the story.
(myself "How could I have done that?".)
There should be a comma after "myself" and no period.
(Some looked up at him with surprise, they had already assumed he was dead.)
Run-on sentence. Switch that comma for a semicolon or make a new sentence and you're good.
(flinching at my slap, as I once knew him to do,)
as I had once known him to do
Someone should teach that bastard Leon some fucking manners. Honestly. Leon/Seifer. Co-written with ...
In: Kingdom Hearts
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