Review for Harry's Second Chance
(#) Lira_Snape 2006-05-07 07:47:25 AM
There's just two minor things in this chapter I noticed: "defensive of his remaining two Horcruxes" - shouldn't that be "protective..."? Defensive just sounds wrong in the context.
And the last line "She was not to know..." sounds somehow weird. I'm not sure what you are trying to say with it: Is it "she didn't know", "she couldn't know", "she would never know"?
I chose 'defensive' over 'protective' because Voldie is acting defensively, not proactively. As for the second point, the first & third choices wouldn't make sense in context (to me at least). I prefered my choice to your second merely because it highlights the formal narrative voice over the conversational tone of dialog. Your choices may vary.
Jack Harkness meets an old friend in the market
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