Review for Family Issue
(#) MasterKtulu 2007-02-04 03:19:59 PM
As of yet, your story is quite good and original. But the pirate accents (Or whatever they are) are a bit thick and could be toned down a bit. Also, some spaces between the paragraphs would make it much easier to read. I doubt that any of your readers would mind if you took a bit of time to edit your story with toned down accents and place some spaces where needed…
Thank you for reading and for writing a precise review, it was very helpful. Looking back I can see the accents are a bit thick, but having traveled throughout the U.K. I can tell you what I've written is mild by comparison. If I had written Moody with a true Scot's brogue the story would need a glossary for translation. I love Scotland, but I'm not sure that my cousins in Edinburgh are really speaking English. I'll try to keep that in mind for later chapters.
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A very different Shinji comes to Tokyo III
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