OK, a couple of things. One, you're on FICWAD, and to reply to a review in the context of your story is a waste of time, answer your reviews through the My Account, Reviews option. You're taking up space needlessly and detracting from your story. Second, so far from what I've read, it reads like Pulp fiction as far as direction and time frames. Simply put, you're confusing with me going back and forth with the time line. Last, I have no clear picture of where you're going. On the initial contact, Ron storms off and seems to be a problem. Are you going to continue with this direction and put Ron on the outs or is he going to have a very NON-Ron realization and come to accept the Slytherins? Last, you have unclear or unapparent pairings. Cho is acting bitter, which I accept, however Hermione is there as well. There has been no Luna in the story yet, and I've found myself more inclined to liking the whole Harry/Luna paring, but that's if done right. I look forward to seeing if the muddledness is cleared and you have a direct storyline or if it continues to bounce back and forth.
Geovanni Luciano
Author's response
I did find out about the reviews part, thanks for mentioning it. I believe one of the other reviewers did mention that as well.
There is only one flashback, and I am not meddling with the time line at all. All events, except for the one flashback, are in chronological order (except when they are contemporaneous, where it is mentioned explicitly).
Ron is not going to like Slytherins and he certainly will not get friendly with them. But I am not making Ron inimical to Harry. I have other plans for Ron; I am not going to spoil the plot for you.
Cho was bitter initially (and she was put in the unhappy position of choosing between her close friend, Marietta, and her boyfriend, Harry), but she is not against Harry. In fact, once she realises the true extent of Harry's problems, she is much more sympathetic and friendly.
Luna will make her appearance around Chapter 13, when the DA actually starts meeting. She certainly has her moments in the story, but she is not the kind of person who would be a shrewd political manipulator, even if she is extremely good at figuring out people. She is too honest and nice for being a manipulator.
Thanks for the encouragement, and thanks for reading and reviewing.
Regards,
Maidros