Review for Jay and the Golden Fleece

Jay and the Golden Fleece

(#) Magic144 2007-03-06 02:13:01 PM

K, I have an idea, but you don't have to use it, just consider it. I don't know whats gonna happen next, but you're story is perfect for a personification. (It's when a writer makes a non-living thing have human actions.) Just because I think it would add more visuals in you're writting. For ex. if the waves get higher you could write: 'As the waves became more and more rebellious, the ship moaned in annoyance.' Something like that( sorry thought about that at the top of my head.) Anyways great story, and I hope you consider my idea (you don't have to use the ex.) It's just so that the reader can visualize a certain thing/event in the plot more clearly.
Luv the story:Magic144:D

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