Review for breathe

breathe

(#) Rous 2006-06-01 04:05:54 AM

Aside from the need for punctuation, this leaves me...well, wanting more. It has some nice imagery to it, but little substance. "The wind slowly..." yet "the air rushes..." Kind of a contradiction here. There is little flow. And your ending just hangs there. Again, with some work, this could be very nice.

Thank you for sharing.

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