Review for The Coin
The Coin
(#) Jeram 2005-05-08 12:23:16 AM
Hmm, an interesting idea - one thing I do like about this story is the style - a writing style that certainly evokes the parlance and style of Jack Sparrow.
My only problem is that it's so short that nothing really happens; I don't really "get" anything out the story. Yes, Jack is well characterized - I can fully imagine him attempting to steal Charon's boat.
On the other hand, what's the point, really? I get a kind of "Uncle Remus" feeling in terms of the storytelling style, but it meanders a bit too much and ends up leaving the reader with a kind of "so now what" feeling.
What I'm trying to say, really, is that writing is good, but the story doesn't really have a point, or the point mentioned in the summary. I'd recommend fleshing out the story a bit more; it's short even for a one-shot.
My only problem is that it's so short that nothing really happens; I don't really "get" anything out the story. Yes, Jack is well characterized - I can fully imagine him attempting to steal Charon's boat.
On the other hand, what's the point, really? I get a kind of "Uncle Remus" feeling in terms of the storytelling style, but it meanders a bit too much and ends up leaving the reader with a kind of "so now what" feeling.
What I'm trying to say, really, is that writing is good, but the story doesn't really have a point, or the point mentioned in the summary. I'd recommend fleshing out the story a bit more; it's short even for a one-shot.
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