Review for Double the Trouble
(#) Lira_Snape 2006-06-10 07:36:03 AM
While this story is certainly original, your jumping back and forth along the timeline makes it very hard to comprehend. It starts sometime in the future, then you are back at Privet Drive with people taking him to Grimmauld Place which Harry escapes from. But when the next part was Harry at Privet Drive with his minders watching him I really lost track of everything. Clearing some of that up a bit or at least adding dates might help the reader to follow you.
You won't see stories with a lower score when you browse or search. Log in to adjust filter.
What if the Purebloods had lost the war but ‘won’ the peace? A cranky one-shot plot bunny which ...
In: Harry Potter
- Authors: 481480
- Stories: 40149