Review for Flavours

Flavours

(#) Maldoror 2006-06-11 10:05:40 AM

Aww sweet (no pun intended). I particularly liked the paragraph around the realisation of the change Naruto brought. Before Naruto and After Naruto. That hit the nail on the head in several ways. Also the cautious way Gaara approaches love; I don't see him being massively optimistic, but prudently hopeful sounds like him in this phase of his life.

Constructive crit: avoid the use of 'the red-head', 'the blonde' etc. except for very, very rarely. Names and a few words like 'said' are actually unobtrusive when people read; our eye expects them so they flit over them and they don't feel as repetitive as you'd think when you are actually writing them every two sentence.

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