Sequel to a Twisted Timeline. The more things change the more things get wacky. Not for the mentally sane. LunaHarryFem!Harry.
Chapter One: The More Things Change
Up in one of his many office buildings, Harry Potter sat deep in thought. It had been two and a half years since he defeated Voldemort. Two and a half years since that clone had completely sabotaged the name of Harry Potter. In that time, Harry had kept busy, trying to rebuild his vast mafia empire and also raise it to new heights. Harry barely paid attention to the world around him, least of all Wizarding Britain. As far as Harry concerned, that entire world, with a few exceptions, was dead to him. He still had the Daily Prophet under his control. He gave them full run to print anything they wanted providing it was factual with one exception. Any stories about Harry, good or bad, were strictly forbidden.
A flashing light underneath his desk had brought Harry out of his recollections of the events of the past two and a half years. Sighing, it appears someone had found their way inside his office building that was not authorized. Despite all the security measures, nothing was perfect. Quickly, Harry rose to his feet, wand in hand and moved forward, opening the door of the room that he was in, stepping forward into the hallway. In the air, Harry saw smoke rising up from one of the lower floors. Quickly, Harry moved forward, as the smoke got thicker, as he rushed down the stairs. Putting a Bubble Head charm on, Harry pushed his way through the door and he saw a scruffy looking grey haired man exit one of his storerooms and enter the next. Quickly, Harry entered the room and saw the man pouring lighter fluid on the floor, humming a merry tune under his breath as he strutted across the room. Harry cleared his throat to get the intruder’s attention.
“Didn’t your mother warn you about playing with matches?” asked Harry as he pointed his wand at the intruder.
“Many times, not like I listened to her,” commented the intruder as he turned towards Harry, who raised his wand. “Wow, it looks like you have a problem with my little arson hobby, eh, kiddo.”
Harry moved forward but before he could attack, he was caught off guard with a large wall of fire erupting from a high tech apparatus fastened to his intruder’s arm.
“I really hate technology,” muttered Harry under his breath, as he dodged another blast of fire, before he attempted to use a jet of water to fight off his opponent, but he was much quicker than he looked.
“I have the solution to any problem,” said the intruder before he turned to Harry. “TORCH IT!”
Another blast of fire with Harry just dodging it. The fire completely obliterated the vase behind Harry, reducing it to cinders. Harry moved in and more bursts of fire impacted, lighting the room ablaze, creating a ring of fire around Harry.
“You’ve just been burned, kid!” yelled the intruder as he rushed forward but Harry pointed his wand towards the door, causing it to shield shut. “Well, it looks like you want me to turn it up a few notches!”
Harry, having just doused the fire around him, had to deal with another fireball being shot from the flame throwing device strapped to his attacker’s arm. Every time he tried to aim to destroy his opponent’s apparatus, another burst of flames shot right out of him.
“Admit it, you can’t handle the heat!” shouted the arsonist, his eyes widened, as Harry blasted a cool jet of water right at the attacker, sending him into the wall.
“No, just the puns,” corrected Harry, before he shot ropes at the attacker, binding him tight. He could easily kill him, but he had more pressing matters to attend to like what this nutcase had trashed.
Harry moved forward into the next room and quickly opened the door. His eyes widened, several of his crates contained shipments from highest paying client had been reduced to little but ashes. In a flash, Harry shot jets of water from his wand, hoping to salvage the damage, as these particular shipments were due out by the end of the week. Sadly, not even magic could restore the damage done and Harry angrily blasted the mess away before he moved forward to check on his secured arsonist. Harry guessed that it might not have been a good idea to leave him alone for too long.
The smell of smoke had brought Harry to the conclusion that he was certain that it was not a good idea to leave that crazed arsonist in the room alone. He opened the door and sure enough, the ropes that he used to bind his enemy had been burned straight through. A smoldering hole in the wall had given Harry a good idea where his enemy went but unfortunately the arsonist moved rather quicker than Harry had mentioned. Harry’s attention was caught by a message that had been scorched into the floor.
“Another Person Successfully Burned By Inferno!”
At that instant, some of Harry’s employees showed up, ready to bust anyone who was messing with their headquarters.
“Boss we heard the alarm, we got up here as fast as we could, we were putting the finishing touches on the Cartier Shipment,” said one of the mobsters.
“I understand perfectly, Cartier is our second most important client after all and his shipment is due out by the end of the week, but the shipment that was supposed to be sent out in two days had been completely obliterated by fire,” said Harry and the mobsters looked grave, the person who ordered this shipment had been rather persistent that it’d be shipped out on time. “There’s his calling card, if any of you have any ideas as the individual behind this, so he can dealt with appropriately.”
“Inferno, wait he’s one of the most efficient corporate saboteurs in all of Europe,” inputted one of the mobsters as the others nodded. “Real name’s Herbie Periwinkle, he’s been at this game for thirty years, Boss Evans ran into him a couple times, but not even he’s been able to stop Inferno from committing his acts of arson, in fact, he’s never been caught, not by the people’s he’s crossed or even the law.”
“Yeah, Periwinkle’s good at his work, but the fact he’s not playing with a full deck. He’s become a bit too much obsessed with his work, fanatic even, makes him really dangerous” inputted Antonio, who looked about like his niece Hermione right now, before she was about to rattle off some obscure information. “He was expelled from school when he was nine for attempting to torch the school when some classmates made fun of him. From what they say, he was drawn to how much power fire gave him and eventually, to pay the rent, he began to do small jobs for corporations, who paid him well enough to sabotage the competition to make him consider it to be a full time career. In fact, rumor has it there were many times that he worked for one corporation and then a bit later, he turned around to sabotage the same corporation that he received a pay off for, as a retaliation move.”
“So, no loyalty other than to his bank account,” summarized Harry.
“Indeed and after some time, he got involved in the mob scene, no never with your grandfather, as he didn’t trust a freelancer to do anything,” commented Antonio. “Still, Zabini used him a couple of times that we know of, and other upstart mob bosses, more than I can remember. Didn’t get far, your grandfather was rather good at cutting off most rising threats at the knees.”
“Speaking of rising threats, those rumors about the Zabini mob being splintered, I would have thought that all those factions would have wiped each other out by now and I could focus on eliminating one constant threat,” commented Harry. “Now, there still battling with each other over the Zabini territory, not that I mind, because it gives me more time to worry about this organization rather than what the other guys are doing. Still, keep your friends close and your enemies closer.”
“Ah, that is a tricky situation, looks like we can nail it down to two guys, Caruthers and Eckstein,” remarked Antonio. “Caruthers has been there since the time of Boss Evans, pretty close to a right hand man as you can get, not that Zabini even trusted his own shadow. Eckstein joined towards the end, within the last couple of years, hasn’t done much until Zabini was whacked, but proved himself to be a sleazy little opportunist by attempting to take control. While Caruthers wants to keep with the traditional practices, Eckstein wants to bring everything into the twenty first century.”
“Caruthers is a tough one to crack, he won’t let a slimly little upstart like Eckstein walk over him,” added another mobster.
“And if Eckstein tries anything with me, I will cut him of at the knees,” said Harry and the others nodded, knowing that Harry meant his threat to be taken quite literally, but at that second, a buzzing sound echoed throughout the building. “Yes.”
“Boss Potter, your contact is here to see you,” announced a gruff voice over the loud speaker.
“Can’t it wait?” asked Harry, who still was trying to figure out how to get that high priced shipment back together, because after it was burned beyond all repair, even if he used magic.
“She says it’s urgent,” remarked the mobster on the other end of the communication link.
“Send her in,” replied Harry before he turned to Antonio. “See if there’s anything you can do, find some men to get that shipment back together. We have less than two days, but still we have to try, as this client will not settle for an extension and his business is very high priced, I can’t afford to lose it.”
“Absolutely boss,” said Antonio, as he left, with two bodyguards hovering around Harry, but Harry dismissed them with a wave of his hand.
“We need as many hands on deck on possible, I’m sure no one will kill me for a few hours or at least I can handle it if they do try,” said Harry, as the door opened, to reveal the very tired form of Nymphadora Tonks. “Tonks, they’ve been working you hard again?”
“Yes, thirty six hours straight, seems to be that the Ministry of Magic forgot a little necessity called sleep, as all the Aurors who have less than ten years experiences have been worked around the clock,” remarked Tonks in a moody tone of voice. “Still, they’re giving me a two hour break, how generous of them, don’t you think?”
“Yes, the humanitarians,” commented Harry dryly. “And the fact that you’re here, instead of getting some sleep on your break suggests that you have some important news to tell me.”
“Yes, I’ve got to make it quick, as I have spent about a half hour avoiding someone, because I have the strangest feeling that I’m being followed, but I lost them,” said Tonks. “Only because everyone with a known connection to you is being followed, and given the role you planned with getting us reinstated in the Black family tree, I’m on that list.”
“I know, Luna was followed a few days ago, but she seemed very amused by what happened,” said Harry.
“She wouldn’t have anything to do about the two Aurors that came back yesterday babbling incoherently under there breath and humming, would she?” asked Tonks, who despite her lack of sleep, looked slightly amused. “The effects wore off and the Aurors didn’t have the foggiest idea that they had even seen her.”
“I hope so,” said Harry proudly. “So, anyway, enough small talk, the news that’s so urgent.”
“Well, the new Minister of Magic, who just happens to be Scrimgeour, you know the guy who wanted to kill you for your clone killing his daughter,” said Tonks and Harry nodded in acknowledgement. “Well, you’re unofficially the number one most wanted public enemy in the Ministry of Magic, well they can’t do anything to bring you in, but just be careful, accidents can happen.”
“Yes, as in my finger accidentally slipping and connecting with a certain button, causing proof that the Wizarding World Exists to be broadcasted on every radio and television station in the world,” remarked Harry coolly.
“I know, that’s another thing that I should warn you about, the reason that we’re working so much overtime, mostly Aurors who are half blood and muggleborn I should add,” said Tonks. “We’re trying to look for transmitters that are powerful enough to broadcast that much, not that I’m much help, as I can barely figure out how to set the microwave that Dad bought last year.”
“The Ministry will never find that transmitter, not in a million years,” said Harry confidently. “Although perhaps it might be a prudent move to warn them that it’s also motion sensitive. If anyone attempts to enter, magically or otherwise, without inputting the correct code, you can say bye-bye to the secrecy.”
“Knowing you, this thing’s hidden well enough that someone can’t accidentally trigger it,” yawned Tonks.
“Of course it is, the last thing I need is a bird accidentally flying into the door and triggering the end of the Wizarding World, no matter how much that amuses me to no end,” said Harry and Tonks just nodded.
“I better get going,” said Tonks and Harry just nodded, waving Tonks off, as she moved to the Ministry. Harry could care less about the Ministry and he actually did not know that there was a new Minister until Tonks told him so. Harry put those concerns out of his mind, until Inferno showed up, this was supposed to be his day off and in fact he was supposed to spend the rest of the day with Luna, when she had put the finishing touches on an article in the Quibbler.
Another knock on the door and Harry looked up hopefully, but Hermione had entered the office.
“Oh, it’s just you Hermione,” said Harry.
“Good to see you too Harry,” replied Hermione with a smirk.
“Sorry, Hermione, I was expecting Luna,” commented Harry.
“I know, she told me to tell you that she should be by in about twenty minutes or so,” remarked Hermione. “Still, Harry you and Luna seem to be getting pretty close...”
“Of course we are, it’s something that even I don’t fully understand, but I’m happy to go along with it,” remarked Harry, who looked forward to every moment he spent with Luna. Given everything else that happened in his life, Harry felt that he deserved some good to go along with the bad and something told him that Luna felt pretty much the same way about him.
“Yes, you’ve been dating for almost three years, when are you…you know…” prodded Hermione.
“Actually, we’ve done that several times, didn’t think you’d be interesting in what goes on behind closed doors Hermione,” said Harry which caused Hermione to roll her eyes slightly at Harry.
“Not that, you prat,” said Hermione shaking her head. “Given the fact that you’ve been dating so long, I would have thought give how close you are, you would have asked her to marry you.”
Harry took a swig of his pumpkin juice, for the sole purpose of doing a spit take, causing the juice to be spat all over Hermione.
“That subject’s come up, but Luna says, and I agree, that marriage is a bit too conventional for two people like us, we’re together anyway, but why do we need to make it official?” asked Harry. “Plus, Luna said her parents were together for several years, and only got married about nine months before Luna was born, but she does seem rather amused by the timing of that.”
“Yes, that is some interesting timing,” remarked Hermione as she shook her head from side to side. “Still, given that you are the head of one of the most prestigious pureblood families, I’m surprised that you aren’t given static. After all, I read that the Ministry of Magic does frown upon the fact of unmarried of age heirs to pureblood families. That’s why most get married right out of Hogwarts.”
“The Ministry of Magic also frowns upon the fact that I’m still breathing, so I can’t say I’m too upset that they might get upset about this stupid heir heritage thing,” commented Harry.
“True, I can’t really argue with that,” said Hermione before she abruptly shifted gears. “So, how are things lately?”
“Other than the fact that an arsonist just wiped out a high priced shipment and the new Minister of Magic has a vendetta against me, I say things are going pretty well,” answered Harry. “Sadly, the arsonist managed to slip through my fingers, but I’ve got my eye on him for next time but still, that shipment was worth a lot, to a person who isn’t fond of being kept waiting.”
“No wonder everyone was running by earlier, they were scrambling to put everything together,” said Hermione. “And it couldn’t be put back together by magic?”
“No, damaged that bad and besides, it can’t be pieced back together with magic, it would fry all the circuitry,” replied Harry. “I would help, but considering my computer illiteracy, I’d more likely screw something up. Besides, I can pay people to understand that stuff.”
Hermione decided it was not best to give Harry the “magic can’t solve everything” lecture.
“I also heard that they finally got the Forbidden Forest back up, would have been by now, but the centaurs were not all that cooperative,” remarked Hermione. “No clone, or at least there’s no word about it being found.”
“Something’s up,” muttered Harry, as a clone could not have just disappeared. The Ministry was hiding something but the problem was, Harry had no idea exactly how much they were hiding or where they had the clone stashed.
“I thought as much as well, perhaps you should hint that in the Daily Prophet,” suggested Hermione.
“No, I refuse to lift the Potter embargo on the Prophet, I refuse to let my name to be mentioned any more than I have to or my likeness to be shown anywhere,” commented Harry.
“Give that all Harry Potter related merchandise are now collectors items when you pulled it from the shelves, it seems like you’re trying to erase your own existence from the Wizarding World,” said Hermione.
“Well, outside of historical reference books, ever since the Hogwarts Massacre and Riddle’s defeat, my name has only been mentioned in that brief Ministry owned paper. You know the one was forced to be shut down to a series of accidents,” said Harry.
“Right, accidents,” commented Hermione with a smirk and a wink.
“Hey, it’s not my fault if certain business associates of mine thought my words of disgust that someone should do something about the lies that paper told implied that they should go and blow up a Ministry owned building,” said Harry defensively. “At least no one was killed. Just priceless, irreplaceable magical printing equipment was destroyed, shutting down those efforts.”
“And putting the Ministry out several hundred galleons, something that they had to justify to the tax payers, when they demanded an explanation about why they did not have better security,” added Hermione.
“Well, anything that puts the high ranking officials at the Ministry in hot water works well for me,” remarked Harry as he heard a knock on the door. “Come in!”
Finally, Luna pushed open the door, with a smile on her face as she saw Harry.
“Hi Harry, sorry it took me so long, that article took me longer to tie up than I thought, but now I’m all yours,” said Luna as she approached Harry. “Was something wrong, I saw a bunch of people rushing by when I entered the ring?”
“Just your usual attempt of corporate sabotage,” replied Harry as he rose to his feet. “An order got damaged…”
“Yes, but I’m sure I can handle making sure everything goes smoothly for you while you two enjoy yourselves,” interjected Hermione, as she looked at both Harry and Luna. “Seriously, go have a good time, I think I can handle it from here.”
“If anything urgent comes up, contact me immediately,” said Harry sternly.
“Of course Harry,” commented Hermione with a nod.
“Remember, immediately, if it takes you more than two minutes to come up with a solution,” said Harry.
“Of course Harry,” repeated Hermione with a nod.
“I mean it Hermione, immediately,” added Harry.
“I know you do Harry,” answered Hermione.
“No matter how much you think that I should not be bothered, if it’s urgent, contact me,” said Harry.
“Yes, Harry, I get you, loud and clear” said Hermione as she took a deep breath. “Plus, I think Uncle Antonio would be able to help me, or if not him, then Sirius and Remus, they have about as much of an idea of everything that’s going on than you.”
“Still, if anything comes up…” stated Harry but Hermione cut him off.
“DAMN IT HARRY, GO, LEAVE, HAVE A GOOD TIME WITH LUNA, BEFORE I HEX YOUR BLOODY LIPS TOGETHER!” snapped Hermione, and Harry opened his mouth to retort, but Luna decided to step in, as both Hermione and Harry could be really stubborn.
“Harry, I’m sure nothing’s going to happen in a few hours, and besides it might due you some good if you to get away from that, you look to have been under a lot of stress, in fact, I have been too,” said Luna, before she whispered in Harry’s ear. “Perhaps we can find a way to help each other relieve us of some of that stress.”
“Of course, I’m sorry, Hermione, we’re going right now,” said Harry as he walked off with Luna, as Hermione sighed as she watched her two friends.
“Thank you Luna, I was about to throw this at his head,” muttered Hermione under her breath, as she absent mindedly looked over a Harry Potter bobble head doll that was sitting on the edge of Harry’s desk. Hermione just sat there, if she was lucky, nothing would come up tonight and she would not have to even think about contacting Harry.
In a deep cavernous chamber deep within the Department of Mysteries, a group of rather distorted individuals walked by a glass case containing an exact duplicate of Harry Potter. The figures had been disguised from everyone, including the other members of the group. They passed the case, before a swirling mist appeared at the end of the chamber, revealing a figure dressed in grey robes, the facial features quite distorted and muddled.
“Status report,” prompted the figure, a higher ranking superior, in a deep, obviously magically distorted voice.
“The weapon is reaching completion, in fact, only a matter of moments, we will be able to release it, G.W,” commented the leader of the group.
“Very well, the one that we seek should be eliminated before we can fully proceed with our scheme,” said the superior in its distorted voice. “Need I remind you that the no one else in the Ministry is to get a slightest hint of the plan outside of this group, not even others within the Department of Mysteries.”
“Yes, you have, numerous times, we’ve been nothing but discrete, when we collected the duplicate from the forest, we left no trace that we were there,” commented the group leader.
“Yet, did you leave a decoy in its place?” asked the superior roughly.
“No, does it matter, most of the world does not believe it exists at all,” argued the group leader.
“Yet, Harry Potter knows of it and if he ever finds out that nothing was found in the forest, he will suspect that something has been done,” said the superior coldly.
“Yes, but he would suspect the upper management, we may fly under his radar as being suspects,” suggested the team leader feebly.
“For your sake, you better hope that you are correct,” concluded the superior coldly. “Keep me informed on the success of our little weapon, the moment it eliminated the Boy-Who-Lived.”
“Of course,” said the group leader, as the mist disappeared, allowing the group to move forward into the next chamber.
“For all our work, this plan better be worth it,” muttered one of the members of the group.
“It will be worth it, for the safety of every witch and wizard in the world,” said the group leader. “While we are much better than Muggles in every way, the gap of how much better we are lessens with each passing moment. Should we allow Muggles to evolve at their current rate, there is a very real and dangerous possibility that they were create methods that can beat even the most powerful of magic in another century or so. This cannot be allowed to happen and while others in the Ministry scoff at this ever occurring, something must be done to stop this before it even occurs.”
The group nodded, it was the basis of their research that started sometime ago, prompting them to draw these conclusions, but many would be deceiving themselves if they did not have their misgivings from time to time on how successful the long term plan would end up.
The group leader gave them the signal, as each of them tapped their wands to the specially made cloaks, becoming transparent. They approached a tube, containing a beautiful young girl, about sixteen years of age, with an athletic built, with shining long black hair, flowing down her back.
“A male duplicate created by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named failed to properly eliminate Harry Potter, so an exact duplicate of Harry Potter is out of the question. This project does not need to be tied into failure right from the start, so with several modifications to the Dark Lord’s work, an accurate representation of what Harry Potter might have been had he been born female has been created,” narrated the group leader to the official magical log for the project. “Perhaps, these female models will have other uses that can be exploited in time, but right now, we must stick to the mission regarding Harry Potter.”
Reaching forward, the tube disappeared from around the girl, causing her vivid green eyes opening, as she looked around, as she examining her surroundings.
“Your confusion is understandable, you must not remember anything from your past,” commented one of the distorted voices, as the girl looked up, as expensive looking robes magically appeared on her body. “You were involved in a severe incident that caused most of your memory to be wiped, but we managed to restore most of your sanity and health.
“I see,” commented the girl coolly as she looked around. “Perhaps you might fill me in on exactly of certain important facts like my name and what I was doing when this incident happened, because I’m not sure if I trust any of you.”
“Once again, very understandable, your name is Lotus Evans and you are the youngest of us, you showed great potential, especially since you were the only one who could stop the greatest menace that the world has ever seen, Harry Potter” replied the distorted voice.
“Was he the one who did this to me?” demanded Lotus, as she walked forward, to the source of the voices.
“Perhaps, especially if he caught one hint that you were on to him and were ready to finish him off,” remarked the distorted voice. “We found you in a bad state, severely injured, damaged, it took some time even with the most advanced magic possible.”
“Magic?” asked Lotus.
“Yes, young flower, you have the ability to perform the magical arts, you are a witch, but do not worry, as it will come to you naturally, with the wand in the side pocket of your robes to help control your gift,” commented the team leader in his distorted voice. “Potter’s gone underground, but we fear that he will come back, and destroy all that opposes him. He is a plague that infects all aspects around him. He cares of no one but himself and his agenda. Here is a picture of your target, perhaps in time this will help you on your way to clearing some of the mental fog that plagues you.”
A picture of Harry Potter appeared in front of Lotus, as she looked over the Boy-Who-Lived’s features intently, with a bit of interest.
“Cute, shame that he’s evil,” commented Lotus under her breath, taking as much time as she felt studying the picture of Harry Potter before she looked in the direction of her nameless, faceless cohorts. “Don’t worry, I’ll find a way to finish him off so he doesn’t hurt anyone ever again.”
“Remember the fate of all of humanity rests in your hands, you are the last hope for everything, so exercise great caution, as Potter does have his followers that are as dangerous as they are,” commented the leader. “If you fall this time, everyone else will but remember, bring Potter’s body back as proof as his demise, as he’s deceived us before.”
Lotus just acknowledged the presence of her superiors with the briefest of nods, before she exited the premises with a confident, self assured walk as she made her way off to eliminate Harry Potter. She had a task to do and would sort out everything else about her life in time.
The group watched the girl leave. Their weapon would do well and once her task was completed, she would be disposed of much like any tool once it’s outlived its usefulness.
There you go kids, the first chapter of this thirteen chapter sequel to a Twisted Timeline. I have some interesting plans that will amuse me and well…we’re just going to have to wait and see about the rest of you, won’t we?