Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > You Remind Me Of A Former Love.
Chapter Five: Under My Umbrella.
"Now that it's raining more than ever. Know that we'll still have each other. You can stand under my umbrella."--Rihanna
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The heavy drizzle grew a tad bit lighter, dancing its cold tears upon Ryan's goose bump infested skin; polluting his shivers in harsh trembles. He could see the rain letting up; disappearing into the billows of white above. Ryan always liked this kind of rain. It was the kind you wish you could sit in. The kind that you didn't want to feel on your skin, but feel in yourself, charging you up in wet adrenaline. Alas, Ryan didn't care for the rain today, or anything at all really. He sort of wished that the rain was harsh and arctic with electrifying streaks of lightening exploding into your view and soul. The kind of lightening that is followed after terrible thrashes of colliding thunders. The kind that could strike you down at any moment; unknowing and terrified. As twisted as that sounds, Ryan actually felt like dying. This emotion was an odd deja vu, for he remembered feeling this way when he left Brendon. He was leaving the very thing he wanted most and everything that was ever important to him. But, this time, he didn't care what the status of his burnt and built bridges were. He didn't worry about losing his guard or opening up, all he cared about was how much he screwed up and how he wished that he was with Helen. Right now, that meant nothing to Ryan; it was a sheer memory of his apathy. All he cared about now was Helen. But, he messed everything up with her.
"Ryan, wait!" a distant voice called, that was far too familiar to forget.
Ryan turned around, where he saw Helen running under an umbrella with a worried expression imprinted on her face. As she came bustling over, splashing puddles with pounding, red Converse, Ryan silently chuckled. How could she still be chasing after him, even though he treated her like that? How could she care about him, when she should be just as pissed as Elle was, and be bantering on about him and how he was a waste of time, anyway. But, she wasn't, because she was truly amazing. Ryan did not deserve her at all. She was way too good for him, but she always came back to him to save him. She finally reached him, clutching the same yellow umbrella over both of them, between her breathless panting. It was almost like a mismatch, with her red outfit and yellow umbrella, but somehow, it seemed fitting.
"Everything Elle said, was true." Ryan stated, a little sad.
Helen just shook her head, thinking it was crazy or Ryan to admit such a thing.
"No, its not. She was just mad. She didn't mean it." Helen attempted, nodding her head vigorously, as if this were a way to keep him from leaving.
Ryan just shook his head, hiding a smile.
"It's true, Helen. I don't deserve you. You are way too good for me. I am worthless, useless, nothing!" Ryan admitted, apathetic to his nagging conscience that was repeating that he was letting his guard down. But, Ryan didn't care. He wanted to let Helen in. He wanted her to see how screwed up he was. He wanted to trust her with his emotions. And Ryan knew he could. Even if she was human, she was still worthy of trust and honesty, no matter what Ryan used to think. The world needed more people like Helen, with her quirky optimism and divine sincerity. And if someone like Helen existed, then people weren't as bad as Ryan thought. Even if it seems a little nutty right now, Ryan knew he could trust Helen. And possibly, over time, humankind. And he didn't care.
"Ryan, that isn't true. You are worth something!"
And as much as Ryan wanted to believe her, he just couldn't. He couldn't believe that he was worth something. As far as he was concerned, he didn't belong anywhere. He was just another face in the crowd; making no difference in the world but taking up space. But, as she said this, she seemed so honest and so matter-of-fact about it, that maybe, just maybe, it could be true. But could be and is are different things.
"No, I'm not. You are way too good for me. I'm just a lifeless cynic with too many emotions. I don't want to pollute you with my stupid pessimism. You are way too good of a person for that. You are way too good of a person for me. You don't need me." Ryan confessed, dropping his face, as tears streamed down in long, sad rivers.
"Ryan..."
She lifted his head up, revealing a sight of the biggest, most beautiful brown eyes Ryan had ever seen. He always thought Brendon's eyes were the best, but as he looked into Helen's, he realized there was something missing from Brendon's. Sincerity.
"Ryan Ross, you are an amazing person. And I am not too good for you. At all. Nobody is better than anybody else. We are all equal. And as pointless as this seems right now, I do need you. You may not believe it, and you probably don't, but that's okay. Right now, I see a boy in need of some reassurance. Big time. And right now, I can give that. Only if you let me." Helen lectured; losing Ryan between her gaze.
Ryan only nodded. But, suddenly, he did something he never expected he would do.
He hesitantly wrapped his arms around her curvy waist, pulling her in close, as he gently placed a delicate kiss upon her lips, tangling himself in the warmth of her presence. She enveloped her arms around his neck, without losing the balance of her yellow umbrella. So, they stood there, under a blindingly-bright yellow umbrella, in the light drizzle of rain and perfection, lips and hearts colliding with flutters of affection.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Author's Note: Thanks to iluvsmiliez, infinite-oddity, Life_is_42, medicatedlives, webba141, and PlugInBabyx, for their wonderful reviews.
I'd also like to thank his lovely girl who IMed me and gave me feedback. :]
A special thanks to infinite-oddity for her help during this chapter.
I'd like to apologize for the length of this chapter. It's rather short. But, I assure you that the next chapter will be longer. :]
Comment/Compliment/Critique
Do with it as you like.
"Now that it's raining more than ever. Know that we'll still have each other. You can stand under my umbrella."--Rihanna
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The heavy drizzle grew a tad bit lighter, dancing its cold tears upon Ryan's goose bump infested skin; polluting his shivers in harsh trembles. He could see the rain letting up; disappearing into the billows of white above. Ryan always liked this kind of rain. It was the kind you wish you could sit in. The kind that you didn't want to feel on your skin, but feel in yourself, charging you up in wet adrenaline. Alas, Ryan didn't care for the rain today, or anything at all really. He sort of wished that the rain was harsh and arctic with electrifying streaks of lightening exploding into your view and soul. The kind of lightening that is followed after terrible thrashes of colliding thunders. The kind that could strike you down at any moment; unknowing and terrified. As twisted as that sounds, Ryan actually felt like dying. This emotion was an odd deja vu, for he remembered feeling this way when he left Brendon. He was leaving the very thing he wanted most and everything that was ever important to him. But, this time, he didn't care what the status of his burnt and built bridges were. He didn't worry about losing his guard or opening up, all he cared about was how much he screwed up and how he wished that he was with Helen. Right now, that meant nothing to Ryan; it was a sheer memory of his apathy. All he cared about now was Helen. But, he messed everything up with her.
"Ryan, wait!" a distant voice called, that was far too familiar to forget.
Ryan turned around, where he saw Helen running under an umbrella with a worried expression imprinted on her face. As she came bustling over, splashing puddles with pounding, red Converse, Ryan silently chuckled. How could she still be chasing after him, even though he treated her like that? How could she care about him, when she should be just as pissed as Elle was, and be bantering on about him and how he was a waste of time, anyway. But, she wasn't, because she was truly amazing. Ryan did not deserve her at all. She was way too good for him, but she always came back to him to save him. She finally reached him, clutching the same yellow umbrella over both of them, between her breathless panting. It was almost like a mismatch, with her red outfit and yellow umbrella, but somehow, it seemed fitting.
"Everything Elle said, was true." Ryan stated, a little sad.
Helen just shook her head, thinking it was crazy or Ryan to admit such a thing.
"No, its not. She was just mad. She didn't mean it." Helen attempted, nodding her head vigorously, as if this were a way to keep him from leaving.
Ryan just shook his head, hiding a smile.
"It's true, Helen. I don't deserve you. You are way too good for me. I am worthless, useless, nothing!" Ryan admitted, apathetic to his nagging conscience that was repeating that he was letting his guard down. But, Ryan didn't care. He wanted to let Helen in. He wanted her to see how screwed up he was. He wanted to trust her with his emotions. And Ryan knew he could. Even if she was human, she was still worthy of trust and honesty, no matter what Ryan used to think. The world needed more people like Helen, with her quirky optimism and divine sincerity. And if someone like Helen existed, then people weren't as bad as Ryan thought. Even if it seems a little nutty right now, Ryan knew he could trust Helen. And possibly, over time, humankind. And he didn't care.
"Ryan, that isn't true. You are worth something!"
And as much as Ryan wanted to believe her, he just couldn't. He couldn't believe that he was worth something. As far as he was concerned, he didn't belong anywhere. He was just another face in the crowd; making no difference in the world but taking up space. But, as she said this, she seemed so honest and so matter-of-fact about it, that maybe, just maybe, it could be true. But could be and is are different things.
"No, I'm not. You are way too good for me. I'm just a lifeless cynic with too many emotions. I don't want to pollute you with my stupid pessimism. You are way too good of a person for that. You are way too good of a person for me. You don't need me." Ryan confessed, dropping his face, as tears streamed down in long, sad rivers.
"Ryan..."
She lifted his head up, revealing a sight of the biggest, most beautiful brown eyes Ryan had ever seen. He always thought Brendon's eyes were the best, but as he looked into Helen's, he realized there was something missing from Brendon's. Sincerity.
"Ryan Ross, you are an amazing person. And I am not too good for you. At all. Nobody is better than anybody else. We are all equal. And as pointless as this seems right now, I do need you. You may not believe it, and you probably don't, but that's okay. Right now, I see a boy in need of some reassurance. Big time. And right now, I can give that. Only if you let me." Helen lectured; losing Ryan between her gaze.
Ryan only nodded. But, suddenly, he did something he never expected he would do.
He hesitantly wrapped his arms around her curvy waist, pulling her in close, as he gently placed a delicate kiss upon her lips, tangling himself in the warmth of her presence. She enveloped her arms around his neck, without losing the balance of her yellow umbrella. So, they stood there, under a blindingly-bright yellow umbrella, in the light drizzle of rain and perfection, lips and hearts colliding with flutters of affection.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Author's Note: Thanks to iluvsmiliez, infinite-oddity, Life_is_42, medicatedlives, webba141, and PlugInBabyx, for their wonderful reviews.
I'd also like to thank his lovely girl who IMed me and gave me feedback. :]
A special thanks to infinite-oddity for her help during this chapter.
I'd like to apologize for the length of this chapter. It's rather short. But, I assure you that the next chapter will be longer. :]
Comment/Compliment/Critique
Do with it as you like.
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