I need someone to take care of me
A Naruto Fan Fiction Story
There no such person as insensitive,
It’s just that there are people
Who don’t want to hurt,
Don’t want to be hurt
Pretend not to be hurt.
It was a long night, a very meaningful night for him, and maybe for her. They both lie on the grassy floor of their old training ground. The place is perfect, the rustling leaves are their music, and the beautiful moonlit sky is their source of joy.
A blonde shinobi crossed his legs, while lying flat on his back and his hand on his nape serving as his pillow. He switches his gazes on both on the sky and on the kunoichi beside him. He stare at the full moon longer, trying hard to fight the tints of red that’s starting to show on his cheeks not only because of the presence of that someone whom he swears to protect all his life, but also because of what he’ll say to her. He picture her walking on the aisle, approaching him wholeheartedly, how he wishes that that day will come since it’s been three years that they’ve been in such a mutual relationship that anybody would look at them thoughtfully, thinking the same way as his. He closes his eyes as he continues on dreaming on that day to come, if that is.
She admits to herself that this night is something so meaningful, yes, today is what she calls victory, victory over her war with herself. For about a half a year, she’s been arguing with herself regarding her feelings to that someone whom she shares this night with, whether she shares the same romantic feelings with him or just closeness that is unbreakable. She closes her eyes as she tilted her body slowly to face the shinobi beside her. She started to talk with herself again.
I don’t want to lose you.
The blonde took notice of the kunoichi’s movement, then took a long deep breathe, as he tries to contemplate all the things he wanted to say to her. Then his mouth open slightly, trying his best to tell her everything he have inside him, in his mind and in his heart. How he wishes that those butterflies in his stomach stops jittering, that he may relax and to say the right words on that very moment.
I must tell her everything now, before it’s too late!
She lifts her torso up and kneels, her eyes still close. She opens her eyes, her emerald orbs started to watch closely the blue orbs that for everyday makes her complete. She felt that same beating rhythms on her chest, pounding harder every time her skin touches his. Then she felt a warm touch lay on her hand, she blushes a little but hide it quickly by her bangs swaying freely with the warm breeze. At that moment, the words that she longs to hear but despises a lot started to ring in her head.
“Sakura…” he whispered, but audible enough between the two of them. The kunoichi stared at the blonde shinobi for a moment, he quickly sit upright with an Indian seat pose not removing his stare from her emerald orbs.
“Naruto… what is it?” she asks, she knows, she feels what could he be saying at that very moment. She just hopes that she can change the subject only to evade the topic that they’re leading to.
“I… uhm… I really need to say this to you.” He stammered which makes Sakura giggle inside. She could see it clearly that her best friend or special friend’s face is starting to redden. She sighed as she listen to him intently, telling him voicelessly that she’s waiting for him to continue. All she receives is his nearing face, his hot breathe touching her skin, and his fingers caressing her face, and at that moment, he started to speak.
“You know how much… how… much… I love … I love you… right?” he stammered, but still trying to make that awkward distance between their faces remain, and he receives a nod of an agreement as an answer.
“Well, if that so… (inhaled deeply)… since we’re already 23, and a shinobi’s life is way too short compared to ordinary ones… will you… marry… me?” then it came out. Those words that a lady would like to hear from their loved ones started to echo in the air. How she wish she could say yes, but the moment that it just felt so right, is exactly the moment that she felt like he don’t deserve someone like her. She is a weakling, that’s the way she sees herself, especially when she reminisce the past missions that they work on together, that almost failed because of her, all because of her weakness.
“Naruto… are you sure?” she asks, trying to evade answering that question that she just wishes to answer easily.
“What’s with that question? Of course I am so sure of that! And I promise that I…” he stopped by those soft fingers of her laid flatly on his lips. Her eyes are teary, and he can’t figure out whether she’s happy or not, and that confuses him a lot.
“I still love him Naruto, I’m sorry.” She said bravely, finally, she just said those words that her heart trying to hold back, but her brains are just better than her heart. She felt like that that piece of her is breaking down, especially when she felt hot liquids flowing to her fingers that stopped the blonde from speaking.
“Why? Why Sakura? Tell me! It’s been years since he left, why you can’t get over him! What’s with him that I don’t have!” he started to asks, and he’s weeping in front of her. He just wanted a valid reason why does she have to turn him down like that.
“Because, I still love him Naruto. Can’t you get it?” she whispered, though her tears are starting to flow down her cheeks and it’s visible from the blue orbs of her favorite comrade.
“That’s it! Look, I really hate to say this, but who’s with you all this time Sakura!! It’s me and no one else! Then why can’t you choose me over him! I’ve done my best for you, I risk my life for you, but did he do that to you? Does he love you like I do? Answer me please, Sakura! A very reasonable one, that if ever you convinced me that you still love him all this time, I promise, I will never bother you again, that’s a promise for a lifetime.” He said it, his heart is tearing into pieces, and he’s grieving. Being a Hokage is just one step ahead of him, the council already bet him as a very good candidate to be Konoha’s leader, but one thing that he could not get is, the very first dream he wants to have, is still the same dream he can’t achieve, that is to have the pink-haired kunoichi to be his wife.
“Look Naruto, if you have to love someone, you don’t need to reason why. I learn to love him for all of these years that even me can’t comprehend the reasons. I just felt my heart beating fast whenever I think of him, and to tell you the truth, I still dream of him every night. And if ever he comes back with or without your help, I’ll still accept him, with no regrets, and with no hesitation. I just hope you find that someone that will make you complete.” She answered, all of those are lies, but she doesn’t care if her heart is torn into pieces, all she wanted is to make this very special friend of her happy not in her arms, but onto others.
“But you are the only one who makes me COMPLETE!” he almost shouted, only to be answered with more tears from her eyes.
“I thought we are already in this relationship Sakura, a very special kind of friendship that’s just the two of us can understand. I thought that you love me…” he continued, his head bowed down as he started to lie down again, wiping off his tears by his arm.
“I love you Naruto, but only as a brother.” She answered flatly, as she put a hand on her chest to stop that hurtful beating in her heart.
“As a brother? Then why did you let me kiss you on your lips? Why did you let me hug you for a long time? Why are you not bored when we’re just sitting here without saying anything? Why Sakura?” he asks endlessly again, hoping that she changes her statement but…
“Because I thought I was over him…” she said as tears never stopped from flowing.
“And you just said about a half year ago that you’re moving on!” he whines, irritated on the fact that he can’t be loved by someone like her
“Yes, that’s the point Naruto, I’m just moving on! I never said I was over him!” she blurted out, that’s the only way she could do to release all the hurt she felt inside.
“Moving on and getting over, what’s the difference!” he shouted, good thing they were the only ones on the site.
“Because on moving on, you still have hesitations on forgetting him, you still hope that he’ll pull you back to be in his arms again, but on getting over, you’ve decided that you’ll forget him and the love for him will be gone forever. Get it?” she explains, hoping that this conversation would end up soon.
“Then tell me why did you let me kiss you.” He said coldly, trying to decipher everything they’ve been through together alone.
“Look Naruto, stop being an idiot over me. There’s still some one out there who will love you, the way I love him.” How she loathe herself from doing such a hurtful thing to him…
“answer me.” He insists, knowing that behind those tears are reasons that he must not give up on waiting for her to love him.
“Naruto, I already answered you.” She said flatly, trying her best to end the conversation at that point
“Because, sometimes, it’s not love, sometimes we’ve just become so attached that we’ve developed a need for each other. Just a NEED, not love. But, we’re just too scared to admit it, even to ourselves, because we know that if we do, we might lose each other that actually give a damn about our life.” That’s it, finally, she reasoned out, as she saw a smile curving the blonde’s lips. She stops crying, as well as him. They both stared at each other for a while, then she stand up, and dusted off her clothes.
“You’re going?” he asks, his voice is just the same, and emotionless.
“Hai, it’s already late at night, I’m on duty tomorrow morning.” She answered, as she started to walk, but Naruto stops her with a hug, an embrace with full meaning that only the two of them understands.
“Arigatou.” He whispered right to her ear, and hug her tighter, and then let go. He pasted his old foxy grin on his face, trying to tell her speechlessly that he’s alright.
“For what?” she asks, she is totally confused from his sudden reaction.
“Because you still love me, even higher than I wanted.” He said as he rubs his nose and put his thumbs up. This made Sakura flung her arms to him…
“Arigatou. I thought you will not accept me after what I’ve said…” she said as she weeps in joy/sadness.
“Why will I do that? You are my loving SISTER Sakura-chan!” he said as she releases him from her ‘brotherly hug’.
“Konbanwa Naruto, you better go now. You still have meetings with the council tomorrow.” She said as she pushes him gently, and he started to sprint while waving his hands to her, and saying goodnight to her too.
If only I could be as strong as you are, I will never hesitate to say yes Naruto. Aishiteru Naruto, but today, I must set you free, for you don’t belong to a weakling’s arms, you belong to someone who could take care of you, something that I can’t do.
Sometimes I must hold back my feelings
Not because I’m afraid of falling for the person
But because that person has always been meant for