Categories > Original > Fantasy > Funny Interview
INTERVIEW WITH VAMPIRE LESTAT
BY: KATERINA SANDS
What would Lestat say if he were in the hot seat? Sides’ he likes the limelight! The questions are my own making.
Sofa set. Lestat is seated, cross legged in his white tunic. His soft blond hair hangs down over his eyes, he smiles beautifully at the interviewers opposite him, Bianca and Louis. They are well acquainted. Yes Louis Is gonna ask him questions later on…..
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Bianca: So are you game for this Lestat? (He says ok)
First question: Are you proud of being a vampire?
Lestat: Well, it depends on my mood. It’s nice scaring the hell out of people. Being immortal, powerful, handsome and having gifts are pluspoints. But it’s bad when I feel lonesome. Bianca, please be my girlfriend! You haven’t answered me yet! Pleeeeeeease. ( puppy eyes)
Bianca: Do not veer off the question. (she writes, ignoring him)
Lestat laughs, his eyes dancing, looks more than emerald in the firelight.
Lestat: Ok then back to the point. I feel quite miserable at times. Heck that’s why Louis comes in. I feel alone in the world of mortals. I really want to walk in the sun. Look into it, really live.
Bianca: Second Question, how do you feel when you’re cast in a movie, or being a rockstar?
Lestat: I love it! I will relish every moment of my fame!
Bianca: Do you think it’s possible, given you’re not human?
Lestat: I could use an alias name (examines his nails for a while) and it always changes (laughing). It is possible, if not plausible. I will do anything to be famous. It’s in my blood. Eh, Louis?
Louis sighs, “Please, answer only the interviewer, don’t get me involved!” Lestat pecks him on the cheek, then sits down again.
Lestat: It’s fun talking about myself. And I will try my best to make it as fun as possible, my friends. Bianca….
Bianca: Please call me Reporter.
Lestat: (raising his eyebrows and respectfully) Interview lady.
Bianca: Ok you used to be a rock star. Tell me how you carried it through.
Lestat: (pause to think) A really fun time. I played it to my hearts’ content. The crowds were packing the stadium. There were over 200 contestants. I remember being really excited. (holds eye contact until she blushes) I never felt nervous, it was just pure tingling excitement of my soul. Do you follow me? I live for the stage!
We hadn’t planned to appear at all, it was touch and go. I persuaded my group of friends to go with me. I didn’t have an inkling of what we were gonna do. In the end, about 20 minutes before showtime, I picked ‘Living La vida Loca’. It was just the right tempo too. My musical friends knew the score. We got second prize.
Bianca: Then, why didn’t you continue?
Lestat shoots Louis a resentful look, puppy eyes and adoring still.
He didn’t let me…. (Louis says rubbish) I mean Marius didn’t allow me. He wouldn’t hear of me becoming prominent in the entertainment circle. Never has any blood drinker been in the actual limelight. Sure, we may be good at the arts, singing, acting or performing, but I was intending to use my status to become famous. I know I could have, with their support. But Marius was threatening to outcast me, so I didn’t. Never mind, how about we make a comeback, three of us? Can we?
Louis: Please Lestat, cut this out. Don’t talk to us, be serious will you? Do not add in unnecessary stuff.
Lestat:Hey this is a recording. You could edit it out if you don’t want it. I’m an animated person, duh. I want to make it lively, not a tie and long sleeves sort of event. I will try to be good. Which I have promised. (he smiles seductively at the girl, sitting back)
Bianca: What other stuff can you do besides singing? I hear you’re multi talented, all 200 plus years of your life. You’ve tried many things.
Lestat: Coaching people on how to be the best blood-drinker, writing 4 books, collecting antiques, paintings and books, fiction, what not…. Being a pain in people’s ass, (laughs aloud)
Sorry, couldn’t resist it. I like to challenge people. Um, acting, counseling. Developing the latest way of seducing my meals to me. What about you Miss Interviewer?
Bianca (ignores this) : A little bit on your family? Your mum and brothers. Just a formality.
Lestat: Yes, of course. Family, the basic support group. I did not have a father. My mother wasn’t exactly a nurturing sort. I had 6 brothers before me, later they died of illness and famine. I am the sole surviving son of the De Lioncourt gene pool. I was human at 16 years. Became a vampire at 18.
Some time ago, my mother ran off when she couldn’t come to terms with her special vampiric stuff.
Hey it makes me a spoilt brat. (chuckles) That is true in the birth order, the youngest child is attention seeking, rebellious, someone who deep down wants care and concern. I love being with people, hate being alone. Just have fun you know?
Bianca: Yes I do. Lestat, are you patient? Can you be, if you try hard enough? Tell us more of your character please?
Lestat: No I am not patient. I’m very excited, the impatient type. I cannot wait for things, Bianca. If I wait too long, I’ll go crazy. My character is extreme ends type of movement. I like hot music, also classical music. Like Mozart, Beethoven, my favourites. …. I like being beautiful, dressing up. I look odd in Victorian era clothes, yes, but I love to stand out among the crowds. I like to lead. Into a cause for something.
Bianca: Right. Anything else you need to add?
Lestat: Happy go lucky, yet can be sentimentally naïve. Why do I say this? I believe in moral principles, honorable death, leading by example, not spilling a drop of blood when I take my victims, that kind of thing. Sadly some I have met don’t honour their promises. I abide by my promises (Seriously). I strongly believe in this.
Otherwise there would truly be no meaning to life. And one more, I am always getting in trouble, because I always want to do something no one has ever accomplished before.
Bianca: Ok. What do you think of the love of your life, Louis de Pointe Du Lac? (smiling naughtily)
Louis: Please, please please! Not me don’t answer it.
Lestat: He’s not the Only love in my life. I have many loves, both female and male, even my victims in the last stages of their lives. Some no doubt, have managed to go through to my heart. Louis is my 210th crush, to the present day. I love him for he’s my angel, mon chere, infuriating, passive, poetic, romantic and absent minded, silly and cute lover. I cannot imagine living without him.
Bianca: How infuriating? Give me 2 examples….
Lestat: I am not being judgmental here or biased. Of course it will be from my viewpoint. Louis’s version of events has twisted my character and role out of point. He says I am a villain. But consider this, he stood by and watched me bleed to death, a slow and painful death. Then when I came back, hurt and confused, he burnt me. I kept wondering, why did I make him one of us? Was it such a desperate reason that I need a companion?
Second example: Louis’s too philosophical. Nagging in short. (Louis is outraged and has to control himself. Lestat smiles infuriatingly at him.) It is true. When I need his help, it will be nine out of ten times he will reject me and use some of his morals to criticize what cannot be undone.
I hope nothing else worse happens again. It seems dangerous to trust. We are all enemies at times, when the need arises. So I have forgiven him.
Bianca: Favourite colors?
Lestat: (smiling, folding his hands over his legs) Blue, gold and white.
Bianca: Why?
Lestat: What, why do I need to explain myself? No reason. They’re just good to wear. This white tunic is a favourite for informal functions. Um, I like colors because I remember how it used to feel, now I’m a night creature. I cannot care how I look anymore.
Bianca: What do you think is the meaning to being immortal?
Lestat: Meaning to live. I’ve had doubts before, as to why I should deserve the survival. But I fought since I was young, I couldn’t stop now. I know I shall be criticized harshly for saying this: it is my very right. It is evil, my existence is an evil. Killing myself would be disgraceful. You should live until your life is ended. If I could choose, I want to die for a cause.
Mortals, why do they lament their little short lives? You only have 1 life, so Live it!
Bianca: Would you give anything to be a human again?
Lestat: I will see. Last time I failed to plan for it, I’m no planner. (laughs) I forgot that I will be weaker as a human, I will need to care for myself more. …Tricky business. Anyway don’t do that, change your body. You must be born into your body for a reason. Trust me.
On the other hand, I would like to be a mortal again. Perhaps for a week, but not forever. I am used to this eternal and strong body too long. I need a thorough plan, over backup plans. In the end I still like being me. Is there a problem with that?
Bianca: (straightens her face of shock) No. Mojo question, when did this special best friend come in?
Lestat: I met Mojo one snowy night. He was chained up all alone in this large house. I happened to have an appointment with someone. (smiles affectionately) He beseeched me to let him loose. He is a good friend. We met just like that, no I didn’t have to make him a vampire. He did not act aggressive towards me. He really loved me, still does. I was puzzled, why would he like me, a condemned creature?
I think it’s in his nature as animals are, they show you life isn’t that complicated. Mojo and I are inseparable, simple as fact is. It is unconditional love. He does not hope I reward him, he accepts me as I am.
Bianca: Thank you. Louis will talk to you now.
She sits beside Lestat. He kisses her cheek.
Louis: Payback time. Do you believe in karma? Reincarnation?
Lestat: Ah my philosopher. No. if I were reincarnated I wouldn’t be a vampire now. No insult to other religions of course. Don’t sue me ok? It’s just personal opinion.
Louis: Why do you like being a vampire? You kill people all the time, without remorse. Don’t you feel, have a heart?
Lestat: I do have conscience, Louis. I don’t like my victims to suffer at all. I know you mean the time I first trained you. It was to show you, it cannot be undone. You ought to embrace it. It is fine too to counsel people against taking the Dark Gift.
It is a permanent one.
I do know killing is evil. I was an asshole. Sometimes I just behave like that, no particular reason. It is sad. It’s not funny, not to you. But don’t you think, everyone has to die sooner or later? Person with AIDS, or on drugs, or going to be hit by a car? He would be at peace. The way is quick. If he suffers further, won’t it be more wicked? We are preternatural, which means supernatural, beyond understanding. Have I satisfied your question?
Louis: You have outdone yourself. When was the happiest time with me and Claudia?
Bianca thinks: low blow man! Really low, nice going Louis. This was supposed to be a humour fic man! Typical Louis!
Lestat (calmly): It was never unhappy. I love them both, I love all my friends. It’s just their conscience will haunt them, will tell them if they did it right. I gave them shelter, I gave them another means to be alive. I have nothing to hide. Will you hate me for saying this?
Louis: It is objective enough, saying in the third person. I am all right.
Lestat: (Grins) Ok my heart is tortured enough. You’ve wrought enough revenge…. Lighter topics?
Louis: What books do you fancy?
Lestat: (Lounging back) plenty of genres, romance, mystery, horror, history, non fiction: animals. Dogs. What about you?
Louis: Duh. I am not the subject. I refuse to answer.
Lestat: Lemme take over this! Please! I want to ask the questions now.
Louis: No, no. We haven’t finished with you yet. (Lestat makes his lips tremble. He bounces up and down the seat)
Next: Would you like to make your hair short if it won’t grow again?
Lestat: Yes! To try a new style for a change. I’m tired of my long mane. More questions, No! No more, please please please…..
Louis: Ok one last question before we end this session. Do you think more can be done for the environment?
Lestat: yes, definitely. I wish we could reduce the harm and effect we have inflicted on the environment. Don’t buy animal fur, or trade exotic pets. Love your pets. They are just as important as you are!
Thank you for having me today.
THE END
BY: KATERINA SANDS
What would Lestat say if he were in the hot seat? Sides’ he likes the limelight! The questions are my own making.
Sofa set. Lestat is seated, cross legged in his white tunic. His soft blond hair hangs down over his eyes, he smiles beautifully at the interviewers opposite him, Bianca and Louis. They are well acquainted. Yes Louis Is gonna ask him questions later on…..
---------------------------------------------
Bianca: So are you game for this Lestat? (He says ok)
First question: Are you proud of being a vampire?
Lestat: Well, it depends on my mood. It’s nice scaring the hell out of people. Being immortal, powerful, handsome and having gifts are pluspoints. But it’s bad when I feel lonesome. Bianca, please be my girlfriend! You haven’t answered me yet! Pleeeeeeease. ( puppy eyes)
Bianca: Do not veer off the question. (she writes, ignoring him)
Lestat laughs, his eyes dancing, looks more than emerald in the firelight.
Lestat: Ok then back to the point. I feel quite miserable at times. Heck that’s why Louis comes in. I feel alone in the world of mortals. I really want to walk in the sun. Look into it, really live.
Bianca: Second Question, how do you feel when you’re cast in a movie, or being a rockstar?
Lestat: I love it! I will relish every moment of my fame!
Bianca: Do you think it’s possible, given you’re not human?
Lestat: I could use an alias name (examines his nails for a while) and it always changes (laughing). It is possible, if not plausible. I will do anything to be famous. It’s in my blood. Eh, Louis?
Louis sighs, “Please, answer only the interviewer, don’t get me involved!” Lestat pecks him on the cheek, then sits down again.
Lestat: It’s fun talking about myself. And I will try my best to make it as fun as possible, my friends. Bianca….
Bianca: Please call me Reporter.
Lestat: (raising his eyebrows and respectfully) Interview lady.
Bianca: Ok you used to be a rock star. Tell me how you carried it through.
Lestat: (pause to think) A really fun time. I played it to my hearts’ content. The crowds were packing the stadium. There were over 200 contestants. I remember being really excited. (holds eye contact until she blushes) I never felt nervous, it was just pure tingling excitement of my soul. Do you follow me? I live for the stage!
We hadn’t planned to appear at all, it was touch and go. I persuaded my group of friends to go with me. I didn’t have an inkling of what we were gonna do. In the end, about 20 minutes before showtime, I picked ‘Living La vida Loca’. It was just the right tempo too. My musical friends knew the score. We got second prize.
Bianca: Then, why didn’t you continue?
Lestat shoots Louis a resentful look, puppy eyes and adoring still.
He didn’t let me…. (Louis says rubbish) I mean Marius didn’t allow me. He wouldn’t hear of me becoming prominent in the entertainment circle. Never has any blood drinker been in the actual limelight. Sure, we may be good at the arts, singing, acting or performing, but I was intending to use my status to become famous. I know I could have, with their support. But Marius was threatening to outcast me, so I didn’t. Never mind, how about we make a comeback, three of us? Can we?
Louis: Please Lestat, cut this out. Don’t talk to us, be serious will you? Do not add in unnecessary stuff.
Lestat:Hey this is a recording. You could edit it out if you don’t want it. I’m an animated person, duh. I want to make it lively, not a tie and long sleeves sort of event. I will try to be good. Which I have promised. (he smiles seductively at the girl, sitting back)
Bianca: What other stuff can you do besides singing? I hear you’re multi talented, all 200 plus years of your life. You’ve tried many things.
Lestat: Coaching people on how to be the best blood-drinker, writing 4 books, collecting antiques, paintings and books, fiction, what not…. Being a pain in people’s ass, (laughs aloud)
Sorry, couldn’t resist it. I like to challenge people. Um, acting, counseling. Developing the latest way of seducing my meals to me. What about you Miss Interviewer?
Bianca (ignores this) : A little bit on your family? Your mum and brothers. Just a formality.
Lestat: Yes, of course. Family, the basic support group. I did not have a father. My mother wasn’t exactly a nurturing sort. I had 6 brothers before me, later they died of illness and famine. I am the sole surviving son of the De Lioncourt gene pool. I was human at 16 years. Became a vampire at 18.
Some time ago, my mother ran off when she couldn’t come to terms with her special vampiric stuff.
Hey it makes me a spoilt brat. (chuckles) That is true in the birth order, the youngest child is attention seeking, rebellious, someone who deep down wants care and concern. I love being with people, hate being alone. Just have fun you know?
Bianca: Yes I do. Lestat, are you patient? Can you be, if you try hard enough? Tell us more of your character please?
Lestat: No I am not patient. I’m very excited, the impatient type. I cannot wait for things, Bianca. If I wait too long, I’ll go crazy. My character is extreme ends type of movement. I like hot music, also classical music. Like Mozart, Beethoven, my favourites. …. I like being beautiful, dressing up. I look odd in Victorian era clothes, yes, but I love to stand out among the crowds. I like to lead. Into a cause for something.
Bianca: Right. Anything else you need to add?
Lestat: Happy go lucky, yet can be sentimentally naïve. Why do I say this? I believe in moral principles, honorable death, leading by example, not spilling a drop of blood when I take my victims, that kind of thing. Sadly some I have met don’t honour their promises. I abide by my promises (Seriously). I strongly believe in this.
Otherwise there would truly be no meaning to life. And one more, I am always getting in trouble, because I always want to do something no one has ever accomplished before.
Bianca: Ok. What do you think of the love of your life, Louis de Pointe Du Lac? (smiling naughtily)
Louis: Please, please please! Not me don’t answer it.
Lestat: He’s not the Only love in my life. I have many loves, both female and male, even my victims in the last stages of their lives. Some no doubt, have managed to go through to my heart. Louis is my 210th crush, to the present day. I love him for he’s my angel, mon chere, infuriating, passive, poetic, romantic and absent minded, silly and cute lover. I cannot imagine living without him.
Bianca: How infuriating? Give me 2 examples….
Lestat: I am not being judgmental here or biased. Of course it will be from my viewpoint. Louis’s version of events has twisted my character and role out of point. He says I am a villain. But consider this, he stood by and watched me bleed to death, a slow and painful death. Then when I came back, hurt and confused, he burnt me. I kept wondering, why did I make him one of us? Was it such a desperate reason that I need a companion?
Second example: Louis’s too philosophical. Nagging in short. (Louis is outraged and has to control himself. Lestat smiles infuriatingly at him.) It is true. When I need his help, it will be nine out of ten times he will reject me and use some of his morals to criticize what cannot be undone.
I hope nothing else worse happens again. It seems dangerous to trust. We are all enemies at times, when the need arises. So I have forgiven him.
Bianca: Favourite colors?
Lestat: (smiling, folding his hands over his legs) Blue, gold and white.
Bianca: Why?
Lestat: What, why do I need to explain myself? No reason. They’re just good to wear. This white tunic is a favourite for informal functions. Um, I like colors because I remember how it used to feel, now I’m a night creature. I cannot care how I look anymore.
Bianca: What do you think is the meaning to being immortal?
Lestat: Meaning to live. I’ve had doubts before, as to why I should deserve the survival. But I fought since I was young, I couldn’t stop now. I know I shall be criticized harshly for saying this: it is my very right. It is evil, my existence is an evil. Killing myself would be disgraceful. You should live until your life is ended. If I could choose, I want to die for a cause.
Mortals, why do they lament their little short lives? You only have 1 life, so Live it!
Bianca: Would you give anything to be a human again?
Lestat: I will see. Last time I failed to plan for it, I’m no planner. (laughs) I forgot that I will be weaker as a human, I will need to care for myself more. …Tricky business. Anyway don’t do that, change your body. You must be born into your body for a reason. Trust me.
On the other hand, I would like to be a mortal again. Perhaps for a week, but not forever. I am used to this eternal and strong body too long. I need a thorough plan, over backup plans. In the end I still like being me. Is there a problem with that?
Bianca: (straightens her face of shock) No. Mojo question, when did this special best friend come in?
Lestat: I met Mojo one snowy night. He was chained up all alone in this large house. I happened to have an appointment with someone. (smiles affectionately) He beseeched me to let him loose. He is a good friend. We met just like that, no I didn’t have to make him a vampire. He did not act aggressive towards me. He really loved me, still does. I was puzzled, why would he like me, a condemned creature?
I think it’s in his nature as animals are, they show you life isn’t that complicated. Mojo and I are inseparable, simple as fact is. It is unconditional love. He does not hope I reward him, he accepts me as I am.
Bianca: Thank you. Louis will talk to you now.
She sits beside Lestat. He kisses her cheek.
Louis: Payback time. Do you believe in karma? Reincarnation?
Lestat: Ah my philosopher. No. if I were reincarnated I wouldn’t be a vampire now. No insult to other religions of course. Don’t sue me ok? It’s just personal opinion.
Louis: Why do you like being a vampire? You kill people all the time, without remorse. Don’t you feel, have a heart?
Lestat: I do have conscience, Louis. I don’t like my victims to suffer at all. I know you mean the time I first trained you. It was to show you, it cannot be undone. You ought to embrace it. It is fine too to counsel people against taking the Dark Gift.
It is a permanent one.
I do know killing is evil. I was an asshole. Sometimes I just behave like that, no particular reason. It is sad. It’s not funny, not to you. But don’t you think, everyone has to die sooner or later? Person with AIDS, or on drugs, or going to be hit by a car? He would be at peace. The way is quick. If he suffers further, won’t it be more wicked? We are preternatural, which means supernatural, beyond understanding. Have I satisfied your question?
Louis: You have outdone yourself. When was the happiest time with me and Claudia?
Bianca thinks: low blow man! Really low, nice going Louis. This was supposed to be a humour fic man! Typical Louis!
Lestat (calmly): It was never unhappy. I love them both, I love all my friends. It’s just their conscience will haunt them, will tell them if they did it right. I gave them shelter, I gave them another means to be alive. I have nothing to hide. Will you hate me for saying this?
Louis: It is objective enough, saying in the third person. I am all right.
Lestat: (Grins) Ok my heart is tortured enough. You’ve wrought enough revenge…. Lighter topics?
Louis: What books do you fancy?
Lestat: (Lounging back) plenty of genres, romance, mystery, horror, history, non fiction: animals. Dogs. What about you?
Louis: Duh. I am not the subject. I refuse to answer.
Lestat: Lemme take over this! Please! I want to ask the questions now.
Louis: No, no. We haven’t finished with you yet. (Lestat makes his lips tremble. He bounces up and down the seat)
Next: Would you like to make your hair short if it won’t grow again?
Lestat: Yes! To try a new style for a change. I’m tired of my long mane. More questions, No! No more, please please please…..
Louis: Ok one last question before we end this session. Do you think more can be done for the environment?
Lestat: yes, definitely. I wish we could reduce the harm and effect we have inflicted on the environment. Don’t buy animal fur, or trade exotic pets. Love your pets. They are just as important as you are!
Thank you for having me today.
THE END
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