If Kurogane realized what had happened, he would be dead sooner than you could blink. This would never happen again.
Fai's blue eyes flashed open, meeting skin quite a few shades darker than his own.
Oh. Shit. He was definitely going to be killed.
A rather large majority of his warm fuzzies died at that realization.
But he still didn't want to get up.
For some reason, his usual will and steadfast resolution could not be summoned that morning. He tried, heaven knows he tried. He tried to entice his body to leave that warm, solid mass, but it would not obey, and he found his resolve weakening with every moment.
Finally giving up, he placed a soft, enticing kiss on the side of his bed-mate and settled for piecing together the night before.
It had been snowing out, the kind that was big and clumpy, perfect for making snowmen. In fact, it had been snowing all week, so there was a rather profuse amount of snow on the ground. He had decided that day that it would be good to teach Mokona about making snowmen. It was eventually supposed to be a statue of Kurogane, of course, but it took a while to get started as Mokona really had a hard time creating big enough balls.
The metaphors that came along with snowmen made Fai giddy. He was glad that it was snowing, because some small part of him really wanted Kurogane to see this side of him. Wanted to share this history.
And then they had gotten drunk.
Well, as drunk as one would expect two expert drinkers to get. Fai had made the mistake of allowing himself to slip in this winter wonderland, letting his cheerful guise slip just enough for Kurogane to /see/...
And, of course, the alcohol had made him horny. And not just for anyone, because that was easily fixed. No, it was only Kurogane who aroused in him a desire as deep as the black hole within him.
Something had broken down in both of them. Kurogane had said that it was a good wine.
Fai smiled against Kurogane's neck, blushing a little to think of the hazy feeling of the sitting room's carpet beneath his back and Kurogane's pressing eagerness. They had almost done it on the living room floor! But then they must have stumbled into here, some how, even if they were facing the wrong way on the large bed.
There was a tight ache below Fai's hips that reassured him that he had not only broken down and pleaded to stay with Kurogane for the night. That would be too embarrassing, too much of a weakness.
He was not... did not need to be pitied by Kurogane. He did not want to have Kurogane's view of him eternally tainted by the man's hatred of the weak.
Fai shifted and pressed his body tighter against Kurogane's pressing his face forcefully into the taunt skin and muscle of Kurogane's shoulder and neck, inhaling that deep scent that he dreamt about.
No. He would not break down in front of Kurogane. Not ever. It would be worse to be despised by this one person than to live with his secret forever.
Fai was startled and would have jumped had he been vertical, by his pillow's grunting shift, rolling over to face in, raise an arm off Fai's hip to rub at crimson eyes and stare down at him in confusion.
Fai did the only thing he could think of. He kissed Kurogane - hard, fast, and passionate, lingering only for a moment - before darting out of his embrace, out of the room, and into his own, shutting the door behind him.
Breathing hard, he willed the arousal growing in him down, sighed at the floor.
He didn't want to go out. He didn't want to spill his secrets, didn't want to risk loosing Kurogane in the abyss.
And that's all there was to it. A heartbroken smile made his eyes water and hands curl against the wood of the door.
That was it.