Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > " Can you believe who i live next too?! "

" Can you believe who i live next to?. "

by Harrow 4 Reviews

" Frankie is starting college this year and suspects no love or friendships not until he meets his new room mate and the sexy brother next door all things then for the better and some for the worst...

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama - Characters: Frank Iero - Warnings: [!!!] - Published: 2008/07/28 - Updated: 2008/08/12 - 973 words

Reviews

  • " Can you believe who i live next too?! "

    (#) RyanRossLuver 2008-07-29 07:59:40 AM

    Look, I like the idea of the story, but I have a couple of things to tell you.

    I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but you need to work on your spelling, grammar and punctuation. It's all the simple things you are forgetting, like putting apostrophes in the wrong places (you typed wer'nt, when it's actually weren't); not capitalizing names, forgetting commas to put breaks in sentences, and not turning the bold off, so the whole story seems like a giant authors note.

    Now, I am sorry if I have upset you, but you need to work on these things. If you would like any help at all, please, e-mail me at ems_mcd@yahoo.com.au
    or IM me on FrankGerardMCR on AIM

    You have a budding storyline and potential to create a fantastic story, but you just need to look over your errors a little closer.

    xox Emmi
  • " Can you believe who i live next too?! "

    (#) EmoParader 2008-08-11 09:50:57 PM

    I agree...not to be rude or anything..

    But I couldn't even understand what was going on very often..To tell the truth, I got to the third paragraph and stopped...

    BUT! I will attempt to read the rest of it.

    //_^
  • " Can you believe who i live next too?! "

    (#) doregurl14 2008-08-14 05:36:45 PM

    I like it so far! good job dude!
  • " Can you believe who i live next too?! "

    (#) alice93 2008-08-18 12:08:27 PM

    Uhh dude! You might want to try using correct grammar and punctuation. Like maybe try not making an entire sentence last for what should be an entire paragraph. I really can't be bothered to read a story with such crap punctuation, it looks like you didn't even try to make it good. Are you sure your older then 12 coz I really haven't met many 13 year olds that have such bad writing skills. I don't know, maybe english isn't your first language, if so then I'm sorry, if not then you really need to work on it before you post stuff on here. I'm really not trying to be a bitch, just giving you some constructive critiscm!

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