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Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Betrayal

Reviews

• Betrayal

  (#) schoutje 2006-03-02

  From what little I was able to read it looks like a good story, only if you would check the format so it would be able to be read without causing a headeach I would be gratefull
  
  rod
  
  
  
  Author\'s Response: I just fixed it. I meant to do it last night but forgot about it. Hope you like it.

• Betrayal

  (#) DrachenLord 2006-03-02

  Please fix the format of the story. It looks interesting, but trying to read it as is gave me a headache.
  
  
  
  Author\'s Response: I just fixed it. I meant to do it last night but forgot about it. Hope you like it.

• Betrayal

  (#) wolff 2006-03-03

  Somebody else rated this story as a "train wreck", and I have to admit that I agree with them. You have pretty much everyone Harry knows turning on him, for no identifiable reason. I can see Ron turning on Harry because of monetary greed, but I don't think Hermione would do that. Plus, why has Dumbledore completely turned on Harry? You have given no explanations or rationalizations for these actions, nor have you given any hints that you'll resolve this gross OOCness in a later chapter. My best advice to you is to sit back, look at what you've written, and then slow down. Give us some (at least semi-)logical reasons before you let the crap hit the fan, and all be blown back at Harry. After all, the poor guy's been the universe's bitch for fifteen years, he at least deserves the decency to know why he's now stading there, smelling of manure.

• Betrayal

  (#) snowman 2006-03-10

  Good start I cant wait for more

• Betrayal

  (#) stuffjeff 2006-03-12

  a bit rushed, but nice.
  
  and !!!HANNAH!!! please.

• Betrayal

  (#) masterwhiz 2006-04-19

  looks excellent, plaese update ASAP

• Betrayal

  (#) riegert8 2006-05-29

  I like the chapter so far. I can't wait to read more. My choice for the extra girls is the first one is Susan Bones. I feel they both what it like having you parents killed at a young age. My last Girl is Gabby. I feel that veela age different then human. So it could be possible that look younger then what they are.

• Betrayal

  (#) riegert8 2006-05-29

  I think it migh interested to be soul bond with more then one girls. Gabby be one that make a good soul bond. since he saved her life. well somewhat

• Betrayal

  (#) kaylee52107 2009-10-10

  I would love to see what you write next. Your a great writer and your stories are great too.
  
  
  
  Thank you,
  
  
  
  Terri

• Betrayal

  (#) Durrion-Black 2011-04-15

  suesan bones and gabby as the second lesser pair

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