- This story is quite refreshing and original. It is quite amusing to see your Harry come face to face with all the plotholes in the story. Keep it up!
One thing about Rant #4 in chapter 6. I always felt it was actually a little realistic that Quirrell did not attack Harry with lethal magic. I mean he had Voldemort at the back of his head and the last time Voldemort attacked Harry the spell reflected back. Actually, I think if Voldemort had been smart, he would have smothered the baby-Harry with a pillow and avoided any magic/prophecy conflicts. :)
Also, it is true that like others have said, there is no real reason for Dumbledore not to hire Lockhart. I mean in Canon many people truly believed he was skilled. The real question is, why did Lockhart apply to the position in the first place? I mean he must have known that he would be exposed as a fraud when his lack of ability was revealed. He must be atleast somewhat clever to have managed to manipulate things to the extent that he did to gain his reputation. Maybe he just started believing his own lies.
@DaphneGreengrass: Maybe Lily was highly skilled at magic and performed some bizarre spell to protect Harry, the last component of which is death of the caster or something. As good as explanation as any for why only her sacrifice worked. As for burning people to death, I dont understand that? The ward on Harry's person could be keyed to attack Voldemort only and no one else.
- love the way you handled the unicorn thing... the problem with stories like this is that it always makes me think 'out of all the people that are connected to Hogwarts, Muggleborns and their parents included, why did no one ever come up with something like that?!'
so I hope you go for option 2 or otherwise I'll drive myself crazy from frustration :-P
I take it Dumbledore has arrived and sent that spell? first Snape almost kills Harry, then Dumbledore... do those people not look before they cast spells? or at least get the innocent bystanders out of the way?
some people really need to be replaced... though I'd prefer if it wasn't done maliciously: like Snape going to Azkaban or something like that. while I don't think he should ever have been a teacher, I rather like him as a character.
I too like tearing down plotholes (like the schedule... no way could one teacher teach all those classes!) but I also like arguing about them.
mind some arguments on the challenges? otherwise skip to the end of this review.
the teachers never came down there as far as I can tell. Hagrid fed Fluffy but other than that is was undisturbed. all the teachers only knew their own challenge so they couldn't have gone past the others. that was probably a safety precaution so what the challenges were couldn't be weaseled out of one single person so I doubt Dumbledore would let ANYONE down there.
it's possible that the chessboard reset itself once people leave the room... only since Ron never left it never reset itself. Dumbledore probably had an override or something like that... he'd have made sure he could get across the challenges quickly. as for the flying over it...
I'm not sure how close the board and the pieces were to the door (no I haven't seen the movies) so I'm not sure it'd have been possible to fly over it to the door. And if stones can be animated and move around, why wouldn't they be able to jump?...
I do like what you've done with the challenges though... I still like Snape's best...
hope you'll continue soon!
(#) thedon1023 2008-08-12id go with option 2. cant have an AU story if your just gonna follow cannon, defeats the whole purpose of writing an AU. anyuways you should also note that the entrance to the stone was on the 3rd floor with fluffy and theres a small drop down so i say theyd end up on the second floor after the drop into the devils snare. but you had Harry end up being in the dungeons when the whole dragon thing happened which id like to say is like the basement of the school and harry had a long drop from the basement, so i dont know how he ended up at the entrance to the stone when he ended up atleast 4 or 5 stories below where fluffy was. just somethin i wanted to point out. he should also befriend Luna just for teh comedic effect that the two can have by freakin everyone out. i cant wait to see how Harry reacts to this and what the papers are gonna say about hogwarts, i almost feel sorry for dumbles and his staff, almost. kukukukuku! until next time
(#) Lurker2345 2008-08-15Almost never bother logging in here nowadays, but I've been following your story pretty avidly for a while now. Loving it to death, especially how everything is crumbling around Dumbledore. Tearing into plot-wholes is fun, but the second option makes for better story telling. Can't wait to read more!
(#) rianifitria 2008-08-16I think that since Harry had been geared toward his own survival, he would never explored the forbidden corridor in which he had been trapped in.
First of all, the basic health and safety tips for people falling and trapped would be to not move around, because you wouldn't know where the rescuer will try and blast a way in; plus they will search in the near proximity of where you had fallen/ where the debris is. I think this Harry would know it.
Two, this Harry knew how dangerous and insane Hogwart is; Would he wanted to explore a dark tunnel which probably contain some inexplicable abomination waiting for unwary students? Heck, they sent a couple of first years to search a dangerous unicorn hunter/predator.
Three, you DO NOT try and light fire when you're near debris. God knows which pipe might have blown off or chemical spilled that would catch fire because of the cracked walls/ceilings. Again, safety tips which Harry would know. Especially when the school is filled with dangerous stuffs he still mostly didn't know about. Heck for all he knows there's some insects/moss that actually secreted gasoline or alcohol trapped somewhere around him.
So best choice, sit and wait. Sooner or later someone will come and find him. And the rescue would be easier if he don't run around.
Just my ten cents.
Eventhough I do like the part of, "Clearly this whole "evil speech" thing wasn't going as he'd planned."
In fact I think when Harry saw Quirrel barging in he would go, "Professor?! Wow! You're quite fast in saving me, I think the school's respond to emergency is getting better!"
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