RyanRossLuver - producing 'awws' and laughs is my specialty. hehe.
x_slowdown - lol. feel free to use lord groovius. though i wish i could take credit for that bit of genius, gabe actually used that term for patrick in an interview.
lil_chica007 - glad you 'aww'ed!
xStabxMyxBackx - sweet! thanks for being a trooper!
kittkattbar - yay! weddings are mucho fun.
Now onto the story:
37: m r . t o u c h y f e e l y
“God, I’m gonna miss this bus.” Ryland packed up the last of his collectible action figures, but they didn’t quite fit. To his dismay, Superman’s arm and the Green Lantern’s feet were peeking out from the side of his luggage.
“Same,” Vicky commented, absentmindedly poking at the superheroes’ limbs. “…Especially the smell of Cheetoes, feet and beer.”
Chuckles escaped from our lips, then all eyes fell on Nate as he crawled out of his bunk.
“Hey, hey. It wasn’t all me… I was only the feet and beer.”
Then, as if on cue, a half-eaten bag of the aforementioned junk food fell out of his hoody pocket. He quickly retrieved it and flashed his trademark I’m-guilty-but-cute smile.
“See, this is why Gabe and I told you guys to invest in air purifiers,” Alex matter-of-factly said. “My bunk smelled like fresh flowers. What about you, Saporta?”
“Mine smelled like red gummi bears… and a really cute Spanish-speaking girl.”
“Speak of the devil.” Ryland stood up. “Yo Soap!”
She waved and closed the door behind her.
“Hey, Sofa!” Nate chirped.
“What brings you to the Cobra bus this morning?” Alex asked.
“The Fall Out Boys bought a little too much at Dunkin Donuts this morning, so I came over to share the love before we left for the airport.”
“I call the chocolate one with sprinkles!”
“Dibs on jelly!”
“Gracias, hermosa.” I wrapped Sophie in a half hug and planted a kiss on her cheek.
“De nada, guapo.”
With that, we dug into the doughnuts.
“Wait, do we have everything?” Patrick asked, as the bus started to move from the parked position.
“Hemmy, instruments, band, Dirty,” I replied, surveying the room. “Looks like--Aww, fuck.”
“What’s wrong?” Dirty asked, not looking up. He and Pete’s dog were having a staring contest, and by the looks of it, Hemmy was winning.
“Soap’s not here,” I said, taking out my phone. Dialing her number, I crossed my fingers and hoped she was on another one of the buses. Otherwise, I was in for the loudest bitching out the world has ever seen.
I held my cell phone a safe distance away from my face as it rang--close enough that I could tell if she picked up, but far enough to prevent permanent hearing loss.
A faint ‘hello?’ came through, causing me to drop my guard a little. It could be a trap.
Cautiously, I pulled the phone a few inches close to my ear.
“Hey, Soap. It’s Joe. We’re kind of…umm…on the road.” I scratched the back of my neck.
“Way to make me feel loved, Trohman,” she replied, sarcasm dripping from her voice.
“What’s going on?” Patrick asked.
“She’s PO-ed,” I mouthed back as Sophie ranted.
“B.O.? What does that have to do with anything?”
I put my hand over the speaker and shook my head. “She’s pissed off.”
“You said PO-ed. I gotcha.”
“…Ask where I am after you get on the road. Do you realize I could be stranded? Dude, for all you know, I’m at a gas station buying a breakfast burrito.”
“Iono…” she skeptically trailed off. “You and Hemmy, maybe. Not so sure about everyone else.”
“Haha. Thanks,” I said glancing out the window. “…So where are you exactly?”
“Lucky for you, I’m on the Starship playing on the Wii.”
GAH! How did you activate the power hits? Alex yelled in the background.
“Glad to know you’re safe,” I replied, giving Patrick a thumbs up. “Still mary jane amigos?”
“Always and forever, Joe. You can’t get rid of me that easily.”
“I guess I’ll see you at the airport.”
With a sigh of relief, I put my cell back in my pocket.
“Your eardrums are still intact, so I’m guessing that Soap’s alright,” Pete said.
“Yeah, she’s with Gabe and them.”
“How the hell did we forget her in the first place?”
A silence fell over us as we contemplated the question. Then loud moaning from the TV caught our attention.
“Fuck! Harder! I’m almost… Oh god!”
“I’m pretty sure that’s how we forgot about Sophie.”
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
“Sorry, I forgot to take my keys out,” I explained as the metal detector went off.
“Hey, hey, put your hands where I can see them,” the security guard said as I reached into my back pocket.
I wasn’t even able to finish my sentence before the overly eager man started to frisk me. It wasn’t long before I found out what he was really interested in finding.
“WOAH!” I said as he not-so-subtly patted down my goods. It was times like these that I wish I wore loose-fitting pants. Hurry up, hurry up. I directed my gaze toward the ceiling, ignoring the fact that his hands were lingering around my crotch. After grabbing my ass he slowly pulled my keys out of my pocket.
“Could you please walk through again?” he asked. I did as he said, and thankfully it didn’t go off a second time. Mr. Touchyfeely then handed my keys back and directed Andy to walk through.
“Damn, you just got violated by airport security,” Vicky said, laughing.
“Not funny, la hoya. He invaded my personal space.”
“Yeah, there’s nothing funny about a 50-year old man feeling up on Gabe in broad daylight,” Ryland added, struggling to keep his composure.
“Aww c’mon, guys, leave him alone. A creep just ogled his nether regions,” Sophie said, taking hold of my arm. “I’m the only one who’s supposed to do that.”
We continued walking until Alex pulled out his boarding pass. “We need to get to E2. What about you, Soap?”
“Looks like this is where we go our separate ways, Saporta.”
“COBRA HUG!” Ryland proclaimed dropping his bags and holding out his arms. As soon as those words left his lips, I found myself in the middle of a people sandwich.
“Guys, I’ll only be in Chicago for a couple weeks,” I reminded them.
“Yeah, but we’re still gonna miss your skinny ass,” Vicky said.
“Take good care of him for us, Sofa,” Nate said, pulling away.
“Don’t worry. I will,” Sophie replied.
After Soap, Andy, Joe, Patrick, Pete and Dirty made their Starship goodbyes, we all made our way toward our departure gate.
After a series of long lines, baggage checks and an encounter with a super friendly security guard, we made our way onto the plane. Once there, however, we were faced with crowded aisles and slow-moving people.
Luckily, our seats were toward the front, meaning that we didn’t have to walk very far.
“Need help?” Gabe asked, as I struggled to get my luggage into the overhead.
“Yes, please.” He effortlessly took my carry on and loaded it into the compartment, then placed his own up there as well.
“Excited to get home?” he asked, taking a seat next to the window.
“Mhmm. It’ll be nice to sleep in my own bed… With you.”
“I agree,” he said, putting the armrest between us in the upright position. Gabe patted his shoulder and I sleepily leaned against his warm frame.
“So is there anything I should know about before we get to Chicago?” he asked, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.
“You mean the overprotective brothers, disapproving parents and crazy ex-boyfriends?”
“Let’s see…My brothers are studying abroad in France. My parents are actually really cool, but they’re visiting family in California.”
“And the crazy ex-boyfriends?”
“You probably shouldn’t walk alone at night.”
He chuckled. “Thanks for the heads up.”
“No problem.” I traced the outline of Gabe’s hoody pocket, then looked up at him. “But seriously, you have nothing to worry about,” I said, taking his hand into mine. “My friends will love you as much as I do.”
Again, as much as I wish I had psychic abilities, I don't. This means that you'll have to RATE, REVIEW and or AIM me @ Disast3rous if you want me to know how you feel about the story.
C'mon. You know you wanna.