- Very interesting story you have here. I'm enjoying seeing how things are playing out "simultaneously" in the different timelines. Looks like quite the coordinated effort engineered by the mysterious Ramezia.
I thoroughly enjoyed the interactions of the characters during the main story sequence. You have an excellent grasp of their characters and manage tricky things such as keeping Magus from going soft and portraying the "silent protagonist" without making him seem OOC. Even your original characters don't seem obtrusive or unrealistic, but rather fit the needs of the story.
The prologue gave me a bit of a problem, though. It is twice the length of any of your other chapters, focuses on original characters who are hard to identify with, and barely seems related to Chrono Trigger. I hesitate to say it shouldn't be there, because A. it's your story, and you know where you're going with it and B. I'm sure it is relevant, even if it doesn't seem very much so at the moment. However, it very nearly turned me off the story, which would have been unfortunate as I really enjoyed the regular chapters and am interested to see what's going to happen next. Is there any way you can move it to a later part of the story, or tell part of it then, and the rest later, or something like that? As I said, I'm sure it's important, but it is a lot to process for people just starting the story.
Besides from that, I really did love this story. The writing got progressively better as it went on (Magus' sections were a bit wordy at first), and the more characters you added the more fun it go. Poor li'l hamster... ;_; One of my favourite scenes is when Crono and Lucca cuddle, because it's so innocent.
And one of my favourite lines is: "Right! It would be nice to have some matches, because then she could light the candle! It's not like she knows fire magic or anything--what else can a girl do??" grin
Out of curiosity, what are the Phoenix Chronicles, and what is this story's place in them? Is it the first? (That's what I'm assuming right now.)
And is Duncan related to FF6's Duncan? Old man in a hut in the middle of nowhere... Just caught my eye. :)
Great story! I look forward to seeing more of it!
Author's responseWow, thanks greatly for the review. I appreciate any help and encouragement I can get, and I'm glad you're enjoying the fic.
The prologue, I'll admit, is part of the trouble of writing a large fanfic series: I have a lot of information that needs to be shared, but I'm never sure where and how to put it all together. The prologue is more related to the Phoenix Chronicles in general than this story in particular, but sequentially belongs where I placed it. I don't have a better place to put it right now, and it can't stand well by itself. (The prologue to "Fleeing Dragons," the next fic in the series, has just the same problem--you can read the author's notes there to learn more about the series, as I don't have a website with all the info linked in my profile yet. I will eventually.)
So, really short answer is that yes, "Awakening" is the first story.
And, heh, Duncan was an entirely-unintentional-but-funny-now-that-you-mention-it FF6 reference.