Categories > TV > Bones0 Reviews
[Booth/Brennan] So why is it that Brennan doesn't want kids? Well here's my take on it, since something must have happened, somewhere in her past, that forced her to make this decision. A conversat...
In all fairness, it had been her who had started the whole conversation, with her asking to how Parker was and he had answered that his little boy was fine. It had continued from there and gotten to where it was now.
”I'm just saying,” Booth started, ”You'll change your mind one day about having kids.”
”And as I have already stated every time we'ver had this conversation,” Tempe argued angrily back, her voice raising as she said, ”That no, I will never change my mind.”
”Why is it that you never want to have kids?” Booth asked her, ”Has something happened in the past, which have had you making that decision?”
Tempe just stared at her intuitive partner, who was alo her best friend, not knowing what to say. Yes something had happened in the past, something that had been more painful than ever, more painful than her parents leaving her and her brother, something that she had locked away inside of her and tried not to think about it. It was something she had never told anyone, not even to Angela, because of the sensitive nature of it. But as she stared at Booth, she knew something had to give, as she now had the strongest urge to confide in someone and that someone seemed to Booth. With a trembling body, a quivering inside, eyes filling with tears, she looked at her best friend. So making the most important decision of her life, as well as the deepest breath...
”Because I already had to give up one of my own flesh and blood,” She said in a voice that cracked, before she started to cry, ”I have a daughter out there somewhere,” She hiccuped and although Booth managed to look shocked for a moment, it cleared away in an instant and he quickly came to her side and pulled her into his arms as he always did. He let her cry in his arms, cry out all the pain she had locked away so many years, from giving up her flesh and blood, until she could not cry anymore. In the course of it, he had pulled her all into his lap and encircled her completely in his warmth.
”When Temperance?” He simply asked her softly, using her given name as he always did, when they were talking about sensitive matters.
”When I was 17 years old,” She answered, wiping at her eyes.
”Who?” Booth asked her and she knew he was asking about the story behind it and she decided to elaborate one the story behind it.
”When I was 16, I had been tossed out of yet another foster home and ended in a group home, until they found another for me and that could easily take up to a month,” She started, ”There I met Gregory, 17 years old and also just tossed out of his latest foster family. He was only weeks from turning 18, so he was just staying there until that happened. We just gravitated together, seeking comfort in each other, trying to ease the pain we carried within ourselves and did everything together. We never really talked about our pasts, or shared much of each other to the other, since that was how it was with foster kids. It was so strong, our connection, or whatever it could be called, that one day we snuch out and slept together. It was my first time, we did it without protection and typically I discovered I had become pregnant a few weeks later. Of course that was after Gregory had turned 18, left the system, me and consequently dissapeared from anything or anyone who could keep track of him. So I couldn't even tell him about it.”
”So what did you do?” Booth asked me, stroking my back.
”I had a long talk with both my case worker and the head of the group home, about what would be the best thing to do, about what my options were,” She started again, ”It was either an abortion or carry the child, the nine month and then give it to some family who could give it a loving home. I chose the last option and insisted being involved in finding the right family. I also insisted being the one who gave this family the little baby, because I wanted to see who it would grow up with as parents. I had to stay at the group home, for the duration of the pregnancy and only after that, I could go into another foster home,” She looked into his eyes and knew he saw the pain in them, ”But even if I was clear about all that, had made the right decisions on the matter, you can't always count what will happend inside of you, in the duration of these nine months, because I really came to love the little thing that grew inside of me and I very nearly changed my mind and was ready to run away, so I could keep it. Of course I knew I couldn't though, since I was only 17, by the time I went into labor and was too young to take care of a child. So I gave birth, to a little girl and saw her twice. Once right after the birth, where I held her for five minutes, before she was taken away. The other time was when I handed her over to her new parents, because I had insisted on that. That day I had taken time to really say goodbye to her, tell her that despite I had to give her to away, I would always love her and told her to be a good daughter to her new parents. So after kissing her on her forehead, telling her again that I would always love her and never forget her, I handed her over to her new parents and then she was out of my life.”
”Christ Temperance,” He said after she was done with her tale, ”I don't know what to say.”
”You don't have to say anything,” She told him, ”As long as you're here and listening, you don't have to say anything,” She decided to clear up a few things, ”So it's not that I don't like children, no I really love children, but for the most part, I need to stay away from them, not Parker of course, because they just remind me about her and that I gave something of myself up at 17. That thought claws at me everyday, some days it's almost unbearable, other days I can manage it. It's really bad when we have to talk to kids or be around babies, because not a day goes by, when I'm not thinking about her. Especially on her birthday. And just the thought of carry another child, just make the memories more painful. You are the only one, aside for my caseworker and the leader of the group home who knows about this part of my life. I haven't even told this to Angela, because I don't want her to know and she was my best friend for years, before you came along.”
”I'm glad you told me Temperance,” He simply said with his smile and pulled me into a hug again and told me, ”I'm honored you felt you could trust me with this part of you and let me share this burden with you. I know I was pushing it and I know it wasn't easy for you to tell me this and I apologize for it”.
”Thank you,” She said into his neck, ”And don't apologize please. It feels so good finally letting someone know about it and I couldn't iumagine other than you to share it with. But the fact it, I have a daughter out there somewhere and I know that I did what was right and gave her a good home, because I didn't want her to be a foster child.”
”I'm proud of you,” Booth told her and gave her a hug.
”I know you are,” She simply said and melted into the hug.