Shit, there it goes, he's going to Gerard's fucking weakness, just like he is to Alicia. Great.
He smiled to himself, just barely a twitching of the corners of his lips, but it was there. It washed over him in the sunlight that hit his face, in the air that made his hair whip around his head from the open window. It was in the glints of silver reflecting over the surface of the water, the whole atmosphere that stopped him from freaking out. Ever since the last tour, he'd been alone at his undecorated house, walking through the empty halls by himself and leaving clothes in every room. This...this will be good for him. He needed someone to be around sometimes. And if it ever got too much, he could let wiL sleep over at Mikey's house for a few days. This was going to work.
Gerard nudged wiL softly. "Hey," he whispered, weakening when wiL's eyes fluttered open and caught the sunrise. What a fucking cliche thing--but simple, just the yellow-pink tint of the sky waking up reflected back at him over brown eyes similar to his own. But too many people take the sunrise for granted. He didn't know it if was something wiL was going to be pleased to be woken up for, but this could also be a learning experience.
WiL's mouth hung open a little as he glanced past to windshield and over the tops of the city skyline to the fucking collage of colors he loved, all shades of pink and orange and purple against solid black, and it was amazing. And Gerard woke him up for it. He never hated the language barrier more than then, when he couldn't tell Gerard all the things he wanted, like how that patch of pink just below the cloud to the left of the tallest building was the same color as his favorite lipstick, or how the blue at the very top was the hue of his big brother's eyes. He thought he would burst if he couldn't tell Gerard all these little stupid things that no one else had ever cared about. On mornings when he would wake himself in time to see the sun peek over the slums he lived in, no one wanted to hear about how the colors made him feel. No one cared that he hated the smog that marred the bright pink and left the whole city dirty and awful, and that was another thing he wanted to tell Gerard. That he saved him from his hometown.
WiL let his hand creep slowly to where Gerard's rested on his waist and slid his fingers around Gerard's wrist, slipping into his hand moments later after he ascerned that Gerard wasn't going to hit him or anything. "P-priity," wiL mumbled, remembering the word Alicia used when she was combing out his hair and desperately hoped it meant what he thought it did. But she'd said it in such a fond voice, what else could it mean?
Gerard squeezed wiL's smaller hand in his and nodded, impressed that he was learning English so quickly. But...well, Alicia had been calling him gorgeous and pretty all day, so they must have stuck in his head. "Yeah, it is pretty." He stopped himself from saying you're pretty too, because, really, he is just not a damn girl. As much as the weird little girls on the internet want him to secretly be a girl in love with Mikey, he's not. And he wasn't about to go on to wiL about how it looked like a halo around his head when his hair caught the light, or how his eyes were the bark on trees, the leaves after they changed in the fall, everything Gerard loved about nature.
WiL smiled up at him, eyes squinting at the corners and he could still see the thin line of black around the bottom of his eyes, could see it even more on his hands where he scrubbed at his eyes when he yawned. "Hmmm, Gerard?" In that still dazed sleepy voice sliced through with another yawn, and he cuddled into Gerard's side. He was still so sleepy, so he thought he could be forgiven when he leaned up to kiss Gerard's earlobe. He would have aimed higher, maybe his mouth, but he didn't want to block Gerard's view of the road, also didn't want to be so forward. He was taught to wait to dole out affection, no matter if he was raised in a society that was very open with affections and even used kisses in simple greeting. America was different, not everyone wanted that, and that was just another thing that he had to learn to deal with.
Gerard could feel wiL's eyelashes sweep across his neck when the boy finally nodded back off, whispering nice words about 'le lever de soleil' and petting Gerard's hand.
He sat in his idling car for nearly ten minutes outside his house, gathering his wits, because as soon as the first tire hit the pavement of his driveway, he realized, holy shit, he was going to be living with wiL. What the hell was he going to do? He had no idea what kind of food wiL liked, if he was allergic to anything, what level he was on the cleanliness scale, nothing. Why did he let Mikey do this to him?
While he was silently having his own little freak out, wiL was slowly starting to wake up stretching slowly and looking around, noting that the car had stopped and that meant that they were home. Home. Oh, he had a home! He wasn't going to have to share his bed with four other boys ever again! He could--hecould cook pancakes like he saw Alicia do, and he could sleep whenever he liked, and he could learn English and finally be able to tell Gerard everything he wanted to.
"Gerard? Nous sommes maison?" He frowned, because he knew the right word. "Home?"
Gerard looked down, at the boy smiling up at him with wide eyes and an even wider smile, and nodded. "Yeah, we're home, wiL." His mouth felt so dry.
The first day home, living together was filled with Gerard showing wiL around. He didn't have an enormous house, just a two-bedroom flat in the suburbs of Maine, as much as Maine had suburbs, but it had always seemed so spacey. His living room had a nice high ceiling and hardwood floors, and it was by far the cleanest place he'd ever lived in. The kitchen, living room, and a small bathroom were all nestled into a small area downstairs, and the two bedrooms and master bathroom were up a winding black and metal staircase that Mikey called 'chic'. Mikey called his place a loft, most of the time when he would visit. It was never 'Gerard's house' it was 'Gerard's loft'. Well, until Gerard Googled what a loft was, and found out his house was not one.
One of the bedrooms upstairs was filled with all of Gerard's art supplies, a few paintings hanging on the walls, some blank or half-completed easels crowded in a corner cowering from the light, a whole wall covered with bulletin boards and notes. It was his studio, and the first thing he worried about when he looked at all of wiL's stuff spread out in the living room floor. He couldn't give it up, because--hell, he was an artist now, he had a job that he intended to do. So no, he wasn't going to move wiL into his studio. And he was about to tell wiL that he could have the living room until he caught a glimpse of wiL's eager little grin.
Yeah, he couldn't insult him by sticking him in the living room either.
He tangled his hand in the back of his ratty hair, catching every dark strand on his fingers and wanting to rip them out just a bit. He could feel them pulling on his skull, bringing his thoughts to the surface slowly and painfully--
"Okay, follow me, wiL." He leaned down to grab one of his bags and wiL did the same. He set wiL's stuff in one corner of the room and wondered how he was going to go about explaining that they were sharing a room. But, wiL probably already assumed that they were sharing a room, right? He was hired as a wife, not a roommate, and--oh shit. What if, like, he thought that Gerard wanted to have sex with him!
No, no. Alicia would kill him with a spork if that ever happened.
Gerard shook his head and let himself slump down onto his bed as wiL was busy toting all his stuff up to Gerard's bedroom. Well, their bedroom, now. He supposed there was going to be alot of those moments where he steps back and realizes that it's not just going to be him alone. It's going to be him and wiL, living together, sharing a room, a bed. Gone were the days when he could walk around the house naked...okay, so he never did that, but now he never had the chance! And that was the important part, that he was suddenly stifled in the activities that he could partake in.
It just served to better prove the theory he had that all humans want what they can't have.
"Uhm, okay, wiL, this side of the room will be yours..." Gerard spanned his arm out to the left side of the room, the side with the window and everything.
"Than-nk you, Gerard," wiL gushed as he dropped the last of his bags off in the corner. He stood back up, one hand perched on his chin in a thoughtful manner, and looked around the room, eyes lighting up every few items.
Gerard's seen that look before. He actually warned Mikey about that look when he moved in with Alicia, warned him that he was going to wind up with fucking curtains and a bedspread and possibly even wallpaper. Because wives always wanted to keep the house clean, they just couldn't help it. And Alicia was proof of that. She was in no way the housewife type, but she kept their apartment clean. There weren't boxers and shirts hanging off of every available surface, or CDs thrown everywhere, or--basically the backbone of the way Mikey and Gerard lived. It was gone.
WiL had that look. Gerard hoped that Alicia's personality hadn't rubbed off on him. He wasn't so keen on the idea of anything in his house matching anything else unless it was Batman or Hellboy themed.
His stomach lurched up into his esophagus when wiL moved over to the window and pressed his hand up against the glass. He just knew that wiL was calculating which color would go best with the walls. When wiL turned around and smiled at Gerard the pain in his belly let up a little until he held his hand out, intending for Gerard to come over. Gerard stepped hesitantly up to the window and let wiL slip his hand into his, squeezing nervously.
WiL pointed out the window to where the sun hung in the sky, suspended over houses and suburbs. Gerard glanced at it for a moment, not understanding why wiL was so excited, why he was practically bouncing up and down, until he realized. WiL was trying to pay Gerard back for showing him the sunrise. A smile crept onto his face as he let wiL step into his arms and lean his head against his neck. He mumbled little words that Gerard wished he could understand. He knew what wiL was saying had to be important, even if it wasn't really. Even if all he wanted to say was that the sunset was pretty too, Gerard wanted to be able to hear him, to understand him.
He nodded to the words regardless, tightening his grip on wiL, letting his hands fit against small curves in his back, curling his fingers into a shirt that had Dr. Frank-N-Furter on the front. Geez, did Gerard ever want to understand this kid. Based on their shirts and makeup alone, they had a million things in common, and Gerard rarely ever found someone like that anymore. At least, someone that he hadn't influenced into liking that stuff. Because Mikey was influenced by Gerard, and most of the kids at their shows were, but wiL? Probably didn't even know of his band. Gerard had finally found someone who could like him for just Gerard, and not Gerard Way, lead singer of My Chemical Romance, and they couldn't even communicate.
It was so frustrating.
"Mmm, Gerard?" WiL tugged at Gerard's shirt until he was looking down at him. He smiled up at Gerard and wanted to ask what he was thinking about, but when he realized he couldn't, pouted. "Je souhaite que vous pourriez me comprendre," he sighed out.
"I wish I could understand you, wiL..." One of his hands made the journey from wiL's back up to his jaw, smoothing out his pout with a thumb. He leaned down and lightly pressed his lips to wiL's. "Sorry," he whispered.