The Blob of Penzance
Author: Okay, I figured out I might as well do all the guys and let Fred have a song too.
Pietro: This ought to be good. (Fred takes the spotlight.)
Fred: Thank you. Maestro if you please. Me. Me, Me! (Warming up his throat.)
Lance: Oh brother...
(Fred gives him a dirty look.) Fred: If I may...Hit it!
(The music starts. It's I am the Very Model of a Modern Major General.)
Fred: I am the very model of a modern mega mutant
I'm big and strong and powerful and very very cute-ant.
I'm a master of disaster, a prince of pulverizing
Although I must admit I have a little trouble socializing
I'm known throughout the Brotherhood as the Immovable Object
Mystique's car, the X-Men's Jeep are only a few things that I've wrecked
All my life I've been picked on and laughed at just because I am fat
But if you do the same to me I will squash all of you flat
Everyone sees me as a big, fat, dumb loser bully
But there's a side to me that people rarely see
To tell the truth I'm really very sensitive
But when I get teased my anger gets intens-itve
I get into a blinding rage and then I get really, really mad
But when I come to my senses I get really, really bad
The guys in the Brotherhood are the best friends I've ever had
And now that I think about it that is really very, very sad
Toad's the coolest even though he smells like cow excrement
Mystique was okay but she really needed anger management
Avalanche is so vain, he thinks he's the most attractive
And let's face it Quicksilver's way too hyperactive
Magneto's never around, he's always hiding out of sight
The X-Geeks are a bunch of loser jerks that we always fight
They have an entire show and to me that doesn't seem right
Since I'm stuck with these knuckleheads each and every night
But I'm still very very strong and powerful and very cute-tant
And that is why I am the very model of a modern mega mutant!
(As the rest of the Brotherhood stand with their mouths open, the phone rings. Todd answers it.)
Todd: Hey RW! It's the Light Opera Society. They're putting a bounty on your head!
Um...Did I mention that I own nothing? Just a little harmless fun. I consume way too much caffeine.
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