- Excellent writing, both Hiro and Omi (and the squeling fangirls...) were very much in character. Your use of words was good and vivid, and the overall plot was entertaining to say the least.
But it was so short..! The ending was a bit abrupt, and it was disappointing to see all the character introduction and plot building end so suddenly, without really coming to a conclusion. So I'm sure I'm not the only one who'd love to see a continuation to your story, not only for the potential it holds, but because of your wonderful writing.
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