Categories > Cartoons > X-Men: Evolution

A Sick Twisted World Indeed

by RedWitch 0 Reviews

How did the X-Men handle things as the Brotherhood got good press in 'No Good Deed'? Not well...

Category: X-Men: Evolution - Rating: G - Genres: Humor, Parody - Characters: Cyclops, Iceman, Jean, Nightcrawler, Rogue, Shadowcat - Warnings: [!] - Published: 2005/05/13 - Updated: 2005/05/13 - 1396 words - Complete

The Brotherhood kind of borrowed the disclaimer that I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters or any songs from 'Chicago'. I loved 'No Good Deed'! One of the best episodes, right up with 'Impact' and 'The Toad, the Witch and the Wardrobe'! Nothing made me happier than to see the X-Geeks burn and Jean Grey in jail! YAHOOO! I just had this mad little fic in mind. A parody of the song 'I Know A Girl.' Enjoy.
A Sick Twisted World Indeed
Scene: The X-Mansion's Kitchen. The X-Men are watching TV and the Brotherhood are being interviewed.
Kitty: The world is a sick and twisted place...
Todd: Of course it's not easy being a hero, especially when a lot of people hate your guts. But there's nothing you can do but ignore the insults and continue bravely on.
Interviewer: Oh you're so brave!
Kitty: Very sick and twisted...
Scott: I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!
Jean: I can't understand it either. Why do people love the Brotherhood so much? Why? I mean here we are trying to set a good moral example and being the perfect students and they're better liked than we are? Even in high school they got away with it. Okay they were thugs and hated by the school but for some odd reason most people thought they were normal troublemakers! We were the ones considered weird all the time.
Kitty: 'We'?
Jean: We always do our homework, get good grades, try to follow the rules all the time and be in control and everybody hates us!
Bobby: (Sarcastically) It's a mystery to me.
Scott: Those Loserhood jerks are always getting the breaks! Just once I'd like for them to get what's coming to them! And it's not enough just to beat them any more because they always come back! We mow 'em down; they pop back up again. Like dandelions or crab grass.
Jean: Well for one thing we got to graduate high school and they got expelled.
Kitty: (Sarcastically) Oh yeah and we got to stay at Bayville High. Lucky us.
Bobby: Yeah getting detention nearly every day for stuff we didn't do was a blast.
Kitty: Being called names and harassed in the halls. And that was the teachers!
Bobby: Having to go to summer school because some teachers purposely gave us bad grades.
Ray: Losing all our friends and having them turn on us. I'm starting to think Evan was smart going to live with the Morlocks!
Scott: And some graduation with Magneto and company showing up at the beginning of the ceremony! We got some lovely letters in the mail after that episode!
Kurt: Not to mention some nice dead animals.
Scott: And let's not forget that the next day Kelly announces his candidacy for mayor on a Mutant Registration platform!
Jean: Well Scott at least you and I got our diplomas.
Scott: What there is of them. You don't really think they came to us smashed and torn by accident do you?
Kitty: While the Brotherhood spent all their free time goofing off, watching TV, sleeping late and finding ways to make our lives miserable.
Bobby: Yeah, I'm starting to think the Brotherhood is smarter than they look.
Todd: (Schmoozing to the interviewer) Well Natalie, can I call you Natalie? Being a mutant is never easy! And it's even worse when other mutants consider you a reject. You know, saying that you'll never be good enough to join their team because you're not powerful enough or aggressive enough. Now I'm not saying that we in the Brotherhood haven't made some mistakes or wrong choices, I mean we're only human aren't we? Well sort of...Do you have a tissue? (Interviewer hands him one. Todd dabs his eyes.) Thank you. We just want to do good you know and put our powers to some use for once in our lives. Is that so wrong? (A sympathetic Awwwwwww from the television audience is heard.)
Kurt: Well I gotta admit that Toad is certainly good at PR. Look at him hamming it up!
Scott: And you know they're gonna screw it up for the rest of us sooner or later! I just know it!
Todd: Okay so we weren't exactly perfect students. But who is? Am I right? At least when we cheated on a test we did it the old fashioned way, by looking up the answers the night before and writing them on a piece of paper. Which is technically research. Unlike some people who prefer to get their answers from other people's heads if you get my drift.
Jean: WHAT? Okay he's dead! I'm gonna smash that lying little tongue of his!
Scott: I can't stand any more! Can you imagine! I mean can you imagine?
Do you believe it? I mean do you believe it?
Kurt: I'm seeing it but I still don't believe it.
Scott: I know some guys, these guys land on top
You could kick them down in the mud and slop
But they come up smelling like a rose
How they do it, heaven knows!
Interviewer: Is it true that that you used to get into fights with the X-Men at school?
Pietro: Yeah they used to pick on us all the time! I mean three or four against six? What kind of odds are those? They even tried to push their weight around on other students even though we stood up to them!
Todd: Yeah just ask Duncan Matthews about a certain parking lot incident.
Scott: I know some jerks, these jerks have so much luck
They could get run over by a two ton truck
And brush themselves off and walk away
How they do it, I couldn't say!
Lance: We may have made our share of accidents, but the X-Men aren't totally innocent as you'd like 'em to believe. They run all kinds of weird experiments up there in that mansion. Wanna take a wild guess how monsters appeared at the Sadie Hawkins dance?
Scott: While us on the other hand
Make one mistake and everyone's on our back
Anything goes wrong gives them an excuse to attack!
Us on the other hand
Get run over by a truck and we are deader than a duck!
I know these jerks who tell so many lies
Anything that's true would truly cross their eyes
But what these jerks are selling the whole town buys
And nobody smells a rat!
Todd: Oh thank you so much ladies and gentlemen, nothing means more to us than your cards and letters of support.
Scott: Can you imagine? I mean can you imagine?
Todd: Not to mention any financial contributions you wish to make.
Scott: DO YOU BELIEVE THIS? I MEAN DO YOU BELIEVE THIS?
Lance: You know a lot of people have lost faith in America and what it stands for.
Scott: (Mocking in a high tone) 'You know a lot of people have lost faith in America'...What is he doing? Running for office?
Lance: Well the Brotherhood is living proof of what a wonderful country this is! Anybody can make it here! And I mean anybody!
Scott: (Again mocking.) 'And the Brotherhood is living proof of...' (Scott makes a gagging noise and starts pounding his head on the wall.) OH THIS IS JUST NOT RIGHT ON SO MANY LEVELS! I HATE THEM! I HATE THEM! I HATE THEM!
Kurt: Scott cool it! You're going to put a dent in the wall!
Scott: I'm just so frustrated! I can't take it any more! I can't imagine anyone else hating the Brotherhood as much as I do right now!
(Cut to Kelly in his campaign office. He is watching television as well.)
Newscaster: In a surprising poll, when questioned if any member of the Brotherhood was running for mayor would people vote for them. An astounding 75% said they would, with 20 % for the current mayor and only 4% for Kelly. The rest remained undecided.
Kelly: (Pounds his head repeatedly on the wall.) And to think when I expelled them I thought I saw the last of them! I HATE THEM! I HATE THEM! I HATE THEM!
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