Categories > Celebrities > Guns n' Roses > Guitar Strings
Homophobia
10 reviewsWhen rumors start flying around the press about Axl's scarred hands, the band tries to keep it a secret from him, little do they know what happens when you try to keep the truth from a ditz like him.
5Funny
“Watch it bring you to your- Sh-n-n-n-n-n-knees, knees,
Come on,
I’m gonna watch you-“ Axl tried his best to gasp a breath of air before he continued.
Slash continued playing his guitar at massive speeds.
Things had started to go a lot smoother since their fight, and this was their 5th concert since then. They had performed better than ever before.
Slash played the ending notes as the crowd erupted into cheers and clapping.
Axl breathed deeply as sweat dripped down his forehead, “Thanks! You guys are-“ he turned around to face Steven, not even completing his sentence, “Ok, where’s my water?”
Slash grabbed the mic from him and smiled at the crowd, “You guys are awesome.” He finished.
“Axl!” he heard a group screaming loudly from up front, “AXL!”
Slash turned to the group. They were surprisingly loud, and they didn’t seem to be just cheering his name.
Axl turned and flashed a “rock ‘n’ roll” sign to the group, but they continued yelling.
Finally, he grabbed the mic, “Ok, guys, quiet.” The cheering slowly died down, “Ok, what’s up with you guys over there? If you want an autograph, come by after the show.”
“No! We’ve got a question!” one of the guys yelled.
Slash tipped up his top hat, this was rare.
“Oh….kay…um…what is it?” Axl asked, surprised.
“What’s up with the gloves!?” Another yelled.
Axl looked down at the black, leathers gloves covering his hands. His bandages, really, but that wasn’t something these people needed to know.
“You’ve worn gloves to the past five concerts! You hiding something?!” They yelled again.
Axl shifted his weight from one foot to another, “Maybe.” He replied deviously.
The crowd looked from one another and started muttering things to one another.
Axl looked at the suspicious crowd, “Look,” he said as calmly as he could, “If you really want to know what’s under them, I’ll show you.”
The crowd looked up eagerly as Axl slipped off both gloves and showed his bandaged hands clearly to the audience.
They all stared, surprised. What had he done to get the bandages there?
*
“Slash!” Izzy said breathlessly as he ran into his room, “Come see this!” he said in a mix of a yell and a whisper.
Slash stood up calmly and walked into the other room, where the E! was on. He sat himself on the couch next to Duff.
It was some celeb gossip thing. They seemed to be talking about their band, and it didn’t seem much like praise.
“An outburst from the crowd at another spectacular GnR concert ends in one of the most well known rock stars in the world, Axl Rose, reveling a bandaged up hand that he had been hiding behind gloves.” The anchor read.
Slash shook his head, “What’s so interesting about that? What a waste of time. Who cares?”
Izzy turned to him, “The truth isn’t what’s so juicy, it’s the ridiculous rumors they’re making up as to why the bandages are there.”
“Ridiculous rumors? Like what?” Slash asked suspiciously.
“Watch.” Izzy responded, still staring at the screen.
“Let’s check with a fan to find more info on the strange scratches,” the anchor said, turning the camera over to some random guy.
“Thanks,” he replied, smiling, “Some people are saying Axl Rose got in an unnecessary fight with bass player, Duff McKagan. Some people are claming it was at a bar, after Rose had become extremely drunk. They’re saying he was in such a state of anger that he smashed in a beer mug, scratching up his hand.”
Slash gritted his teeth in anger. Axl does something nice and unselfish for once, and people make up dumb rumors about it?
“Guys, we can’t tell Axe about this.” Slash said suddenly.
Steven and Duff turned in surprise, “WHAT?” they both yelled at the same time.
Izzy just looked for a moment, then nodded, “Guys, Slash is right, this’ll all pass over soon, and there’s no point in getting Axl down from the unusually good mood he’s been in lately.”
Slash looked at him, that point was true, but he guessed Izzy was thinking of the same reason as he had been. After all, they both knew what really happened.
Steven shrugged, and Duff nodded. So it was settled.
Suddenly, as if on cue, Axl walked in from the shower.
He had a towel around his waist and one over his shoulders. He was still dripping, and he looked suspiciously from one band member to another, “Hey, what’s all the noise about?”
All of them looked at each other nervously, as Axl’s eye caught the TV, “Hey, is that me?” he asked, surprised as he noticed what channel it was on.
Izzy grabbed the remote in a frantic and turned it off, “Oh, it’s nothing. Just some dumb…documentary.”
“Really? Let me see it,” he said, moving towards the remote, “They didn’t even tell me?”
To Axl’s surprise, Izzy snatched it away, “Um…I mean, it’s just dumb E! stuff, they always get the facts wrong.” He tried.
“Iz, come on man, just let me see it.” He said, trying at the remote again.
Without having anything to do, Izzy lunged forward and locked his lips with Axl’s.
Axl stood there, half way over him in desperation of the remote, wearing just a towel, too shocked to think.
Izzy pulled back, noticing it probably wasn’t worth it.
Axl stood there, twitching slightly, until finally grabbing his collar, “WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ABOUT?!” he screamed.
“Well, you know, you just looked so hot. I mean, dripping wet, and with your slender body and long hair, you kinda looked like a girl. And, I mean, you were like an inch away from me, I couldn’t help my-“ Izzy couldn’t even finish as Axl slammed the door to his room, probably planning on washing his mouth with soap.
The second the door slammed shut, Izzy started wiping off his tongue and spitting in a frantic. He ran to the sink and poured soap into his mouth, using the sprayer to wash it out. As soon as he finished his little “process”, he turned to Slash, “You owe me BIG time.” He demanded.
Steven and Duff were on the floor, laughing uncontrollably. Slash couldn’t even help himself from snickering.
“Damn, Izzy, where did the little explanation come from?” Slash asked.
Izzy glared at him, “Off the top of my head.”
Steven turned to him, “I highly doubt that.”
Duff started laughing again, “I’m guessing its been on your head for thirteen years.”
They all burst out laughing again, but Izzy just glared, “I honestly can’t believe I was able to say that with a straight face…”
“Yeah,” Steven said between laughs at the mental image,”He looked pretty pissed.”
Izzy rolled his eyes, “He’ll get over it. He’s probably used to making out with every kind of species.”
Slash tipped up his hat, “Isn’t he a homophobe?”
Izzy’s eyes widened as he sputtered out, “Oops…”
Steven, Duff, and Slash all started laughing again, “Yeah, ‘oops’.” Steven barked.
Axl thrust the door open and walked into the room, “And for your information, I am a homophobe, so never touch me again.”
Izzy, just to be a jerk, walked over and wrapped his arms around Axl’s waist, “I’m sorry, Axl, but I had to get you before Popcorn did.” Popcorn was their nickname for Steven.
Steven shot up, surprised, “WHAT?!”
Axl stared at him, “Guys, stop messing around, you’re freaking me out.”
“Then this’ll really freak you out,” Izzy started, he bent forward and whispered in his ear, “Slash has fallen for you too, he keeps a picture of you under his pillow.”
Slash, who had a good ear, walked over to Izzy and lifted him off the ground be the collar, “Don’t even start.”
Axl looked back and forth between them, “You guys are kidding, right?”
“Uh-duh!” Steven yelled, “Why would I fall for you?!”
Axl sighed out of relief, “Thank god.”
Duff looked up, “I’m not sure about Izzy, though, he seems pretty serious about you.”
“Shut up,” Axl glared at him, “Izzy’s not serious about me.”
“I’m not?” Izzy joked.
Izzy smiled and hugged Axl, “We’re just friends,” he stated, “Friends who share friendly hugs and friendly kisses.” He laughed, kissing his cheek.
Suddenly, something flashed.
Slash looked up, shocked and worried.
Izzy was frozen, his eyes widening.
Axl started getting fidgety, then shook him off, “God, Iz, you trying to scare me to death?!” Axl yelled, apparently oblivious to the flash.
Slash, Duff, and Izzy looked at each other, completely shocked.
*
They had been right, the news of the “bar fight” was out of the news very quickly.
It had been replaced by a better story.
As soon as the celeb gossip program ended, Slash walked over to the wall and started banging his head against it.
Steven sat up and looked around, “Anybody notice that this is all our fault for trying to hide the rumors from Axl?”
“Yes, Steven, we noticed.” Izzy said sternly.
Slash looked back from the wall and frowned, “This sucks. Well, atleast we’ve learned our lesson, I guess we should go tell him.”
Izzy nodded reluctantly.
Suddenly, Axl’s head popped up from behind the couch, “Oh, believe me, I saw it.” He said coldly, “But what was it that you hid from me?”
Slash sighed, “Ok, well, people started making up rumors about the bandages on your hands, and-“
“Whoa, who told you I didn’t know about that?” he asked.
Everybody’s (but Axl’s) mouth fell open.
“You mean to say…that I kissed you…for nothing?” Izzy twitched.
“Whoa, that’s why you kissed me?!” Axl was twitching as well now, “YOU GUYS SHOULDA COME AND ASKED ME ABOUT IT, DO YOU KNOW HOW TERRIFYING IT WAS THINKING THAT YOU THOUGHT I WAS HOT???”
Everyone looked at Izzy, “I mean, if it helps, you didn’t look that bad…”
Immediately, Izzy went back to the process of cleaning out his mouth.
“Ok, well, ignoring that, can we get to the point of finding out what to do about this problem?” Steven asked, pointing to the TV.
Suddenly, the doorbell rang, everyone turned to Izzy, as they were used to him opening the door.
Izzy didn’t notice for a couple seconds, then looked up, “A little busy here?”
Seeing that they weren’t moving, and their expressions weren’t changing, he reluctantly stood up and walked to the door.
“Yeah?” he said, opening it.
Suddenly, a mob of girls were standing outside there door.
“Are you really gay!?” some of them squealed excitedly.
Others wept, “No! I want my Axl!”
Or even some, “Izzy, atleast say your bi!”
Izzy closed the door and walked back into the kitchen, keeping his eyes straight pretending it hadn’t happened. He was obviously trying to force his mind from remembering the horror outside their door.
Everybody else stared blankly, until Duff got up, “Um, I’m gonna go see what’s happening…”
Unfortunately, the second he walked out, everyone stopped talking. There seemed to be three seconds for him to catch on, then the immense squealing started, and he slammed the door shut, several girls trying to get in.
He walked back and did the same as Izzy had.
Slash sighed and got up, going to see for himself. The mob had grown, and when he opened the door, several girls fell in, “Omg! IT’S SLASH!” they started to scream.
Slash followed the pattern, trying to forget it had happened.
Axl started to get up, but Steven grabbed his ankle, “Are you kidding? Especially wearing that.”
Axl looked down at his tight leather pants and…well, that was all.
Steven stood up, “I think we might want someone who doesn’t have any fans to do this.”
He walked to the door, but when he opened it, the silence grew again. Suddenly, they all took out weapons, “Give. Us. Axl.” They said forcefully.
Steven backed up, “Whoa, violent girlies….”
Suddenly, Axl ran in front of him, still wearing only the leather pants. He waved to all of the yelping fangirls, “Hey! Guys! Listen up! I’ll have time to screw all of you after the-“
Slash started trying to pull him in, but he stuck his head back out, “-the concert!”
The rest came to help him, and Axl tried to stay out the door, “And I know you all love me-“
Finally they got him in.
“Ok, what was up with that?” Slash asked.
“Probably stupid gossip.” Izzy replied, “What I’m wondering is how they found where we were…”
Axl stared at the TV, then jumped out the window.
“Wh- Axl!” Steven yelled.
They all turned to Slash, “Where’d he go!?” they asked.
“What? How should I know?!” He replied.
Suddenly, they turned to the TV in shock.
“Oh…”
“My…”
“God….” Izzy finished.
Come on,
I’m gonna watch you-“ Axl tried his best to gasp a breath of air before he continued.
Slash continued playing his guitar at massive speeds.
Things had started to go a lot smoother since their fight, and this was their 5th concert since then. They had performed better than ever before.
Slash played the ending notes as the crowd erupted into cheers and clapping.
Axl breathed deeply as sweat dripped down his forehead, “Thanks! You guys are-“ he turned around to face Steven, not even completing his sentence, “Ok, where’s my water?”
Slash grabbed the mic from him and smiled at the crowd, “You guys are awesome.” He finished.
“Axl!” he heard a group screaming loudly from up front, “AXL!”
Slash turned to the group. They were surprisingly loud, and they didn’t seem to be just cheering his name.
Axl turned and flashed a “rock ‘n’ roll” sign to the group, but they continued yelling.
Finally, he grabbed the mic, “Ok, guys, quiet.” The cheering slowly died down, “Ok, what’s up with you guys over there? If you want an autograph, come by after the show.”
“No! We’ve got a question!” one of the guys yelled.
Slash tipped up his top hat, this was rare.
“Oh….kay…um…what is it?” Axl asked, surprised.
“What’s up with the gloves!?” Another yelled.
Axl looked down at the black, leathers gloves covering his hands. His bandages, really, but that wasn’t something these people needed to know.
“You’ve worn gloves to the past five concerts! You hiding something?!” They yelled again.
Axl shifted his weight from one foot to another, “Maybe.” He replied deviously.
The crowd looked from one another and started muttering things to one another.
Axl looked at the suspicious crowd, “Look,” he said as calmly as he could, “If you really want to know what’s under them, I’ll show you.”
The crowd looked up eagerly as Axl slipped off both gloves and showed his bandaged hands clearly to the audience.
They all stared, surprised. What had he done to get the bandages there?
*
“Slash!” Izzy said breathlessly as he ran into his room, “Come see this!” he said in a mix of a yell and a whisper.
Slash stood up calmly and walked into the other room, where the E! was on. He sat himself on the couch next to Duff.
It was some celeb gossip thing. They seemed to be talking about their band, and it didn’t seem much like praise.
“An outburst from the crowd at another spectacular GnR concert ends in one of the most well known rock stars in the world, Axl Rose, reveling a bandaged up hand that he had been hiding behind gloves.” The anchor read.
Slash shook his head, “What’s so interesting about that? What a waste of time. Who cares?”
Izzy turned to him, “The truth isn’t what’s so juicy, it’s the ridiculous rumors they’re making up as to why the bandages are there.”
“Ridiculous rumors? Like what?” Slash asked suspiciously.
“Watch.” Izzy responded, still staring at the screen.
“Let’s check with a fan to find more info on the strange scratches,” the anchor said, turning the camera over to some random guy.
“Thanks,” he replied, smiling, “Some people are saying Axl Rose got in an unnecessary fight with bass player, Duff McKagan. Some people are claming it was at a bar, after Rose had become extremely drunk. They’re saying he was in such a state of anger that he smashed in a beer mug, scratching up his hand.”
Slash gritted his teeth in anger. Axl does something nice and unselfish for once, and people make up dumb rumors about it?
“Guys, we can’t tell Axe about this.” Slash said suddenly.
Steven and Duff turned in surprise, “WHAT?” they both yelled at the same time.
Izzy just looked for a moment, then nodded, “Guys, Slash is right, this’ll all pass over soon, and there’s no point in getting Axl down from the unusually good mood he’s been in lately.”
Slash looked at him, that point was true, but he guessed Izzy was thinking of the same reason as he had been. After all, they both knew what really happened.
Steven shrugged, and Duff nodded. So it was settled.
Suddenly, as if on cue, Axl walked in from the shower.
He had a towel around his waist and one over his shoulders. He was still dripping, and he looked suspiciously from one band member to another, “Hey, what’s all the noise about?”
All of them looked at each other nervously, as Axl’s eye caught the TV, “Hey, is that me?” he asked, surprised as he noticed what channel it was on.
Izzy grabbed the remote in a frantic and turned it off, “Oh, it’s nothing. Just some dumb…documentary.”
“Really? Let me see it,” he said, moving towards the remote, “They didn’t even tell me?”
To Axl’s surprise, Izzy snatched it away, “Um…I mean, it’s just dumb E! stuff, they always get the facts wrong.” He tried.
“Iz, come on man, just let me see it.” He said, trying at the remote again.
Without having anything to do, Izzy lunged forward and locked his lips with Axl’s.
Axl stood there, half way over him in desperation of the remote, wearing just a towel, too shocked to think.
Izzy pulled back, noticing it probably wasn’t worth it.
Axl stood there, twitching slightly, until finally grabbing his collar, “WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ABOUT?!” he screamed.
“Well, you know, you just looked so hot. I mean, dripping wet, and with your slender body and long hair, you kinda looked like a girl. And, I mean, you were like an inch away from me, I couldn’t help my-“ Izzy couldn’t even finish as Axl slammed the door to his room, probably planning on washing his mouth with soap.
The second the door slammed shut, Izzy started wiping off his tongue and spitting in a frantic. He ran to the sink and poured soap into his mouth, using the sprayer to wash it out. As soon as he finished his little “process”, he turned to Slash, “You owe me BIG time.” He demanded.
Steven and Duff were on the floor, laughing uncontrollably. Slash couldn’t even help himself from snickering.
“Damn, Izzy, where did the little explanation come from?” Slash asked.
Izzy glared at him, “Off the top of my head.”
Steven turned to him, “I highly doubt that.”
Duff started laughing again, “I’m guessing its been on your head for thirteen years.”
They all burst out laughing again, but Izzy just glared, “I honestly can’t believe I was able to say that with a straight face…”
“Yeah,” Steven said between laughs at the mental image,”He looked pretty pissed.”
Izzy rolled his eyes, “He’ll get over it. He’s probably used to making out with every kind of species.”
Slash tipped up his hat, “Isn’t he a homophobe?”
Izzy’s eyes widened as he sputtered out, “Oops…”
Steven, Duff, and Slash all started laughing again, “Yeah, ‘oops’.” Steven barked.
Axl thrust the door open and walked into the room, “And for your information, I am a homophobe, so never touch me again.”
Izzy, just to be a jerk, walked over and wrapped his arms around Axl’s waist, “I’m sorry, Axl, but I had to get you before Popcorn did.” Popcorn was their nickname for Steven.
Steven shot up, surprised, “WHAT?!”
Axl stared at him, “Guys, stop messing around, you’re freaking me out.”
“Then this’ll really freak you out,” Izzy started, he bent forward and whispered in his ear, “Slash has fallen for you too, he keeps a picture of you under his pillow.”
Slash, who had a good ear, walked over to Izzy and lifted him off the ground be the collar, “Don’t even start.”
Axl looked back and forth between them, “You guys are kidding, right?”
“Uh-duh!” Steven yelled, “Why would I fall for you?!”
Axl sighed out of relief, “Thank god.”
Duff looked up, “I’m not sure about Izzy, though, he seems pretty serious about you.”
“Shut up,” Axl glared at him, “Izzy’s not serious about me.”
“I’m not?” Izzy joked.
Izzy smiled and hugged Axl, “We’re just friends,” he stated, “Friends who share friendly hugs and friendly kisses.” He laughed, kissing his cheek.
Suddenly, something flashed.
Slash looked up, shocked and worried.
Izzy was frozen, his eyes widening.
Axl started getting fidgety, then shook him off, “God, Iz, you trying to scare me to death?!” Axl yelled, apparently oblivious to the flash.
Slash, Duff, and Izzy looked at each other, completely shocked.
*
They had been right, the news of the “bar fight” was out of the news very quickly.
It had been replaced by a better story.
As soon as the celeb gossip program ended, Slash walked over to the wall and started banging his head against it.
Steven sat up and looked around, “Anybody notice that this is all our fault for trying to hide the rumors from Axl?”
“Yes, Steven, we noticed.” Izzy said sternly.
Slash looked back from the wall and frowned, “This sucks. Well, atleast we’ve learned our lesson, I guess we should go tell him.”
Izzy nodded reluctantly.
Suddenly, Axl’s head popped up from behind the couch, “Oh, believe me, I saw it.” He said coldly, “But what was it that you hid from me?”
Slash sighed, “Ok, well, people started making up rumors about the bandages on your hands, and-“
“Whoa, who told you I didn’t know about that?” he asked.
Everybody’s (but Axl’s) mouth fell open.
“You mean to say…that I kissed you…for nothing?” Izzy twitched.
“Whoa, that’s why you kissed me?!” Axl was twitching as well now, “YOU GUYS SHOULDA COME AND ASKED ME ABOUT IT, DO YOU KNOW HOW TERRIFYING IT WAS THINKING THAT YOU THOUGHT I WAS HOT???”
Everyone looked at Izzy, “I mean, if it helps, you didn’t look that bad…”
Immediately, Izzy went back to the process of cleaning out his mouth.
“Ok, well, ignoring that, can we get to the point of finding out what to do about this problem?” Steven asked, pointing to the TV.
Suddenly, the doorbell rang, everyone turned to Izzy, as they were used to him opening the door.
Izzy didn’t notice for a couple seconds, then looked up, “A little busy here?”
Seeing that they weren’t moving, and their expressions weren’t changing, he reluctantly stood up and walked to the door.
“Yeah?” he said, opening it.
Suddenly, a mob of girls were standing outside there door.
“Are you really gay!?” some of them squealed excitedly.
Others wept, “No! I want my Axl!”
Or even some, “Izzy, atleast say your bi!”
Izzy closed the door and walked back into the kitchen, keeping his eyes straight pretending it hadn’t happened. He was obviously trying to force his mind from remembering the horror outside their door.
Everybody else stared blankly, until Duff got up, “Um, I’m gonna go see what’s happening…”
Unfortunately, the second he walked out, everyone stopped talking. There seemed to be three seconds for him to catch on, then the immense squealing started, and he slammed the door shut, several girls trying to get in.
He walked back and did the same as Izzy had.
Slash sighed and got up, going to see for himself. The mob had grown, and when he opened the door, several girls fell in, “Omg! IT’S SLASH!” they started to scream.
Slash followed the pattern, trying to forget it had happened.
Axl started to get up, but Steven grabbed his ankle, “Are you kidding? Especially wearing that.”
Axl looked down at his tight leather pants and…well, that was all.
Steven stood up, “I think we might want someone who doesn’t have any fans to do this.”
He walked to the door, but when he opened it, the silence grew again. Suddenly, they all took out weapons, “Give. Us. Axl.” They said forcefully.
Steven backed up, “Whoa, violent girlies….”
Suddenly, Axl ran in front of him, still wearing only the leather pants. He waved to all of the yelping fangirls, “Hey! Guys! Listen up! I’ll have time to screw all of you after the-“
Slash started trying to pull him in, but he stuck his head back out, “-the concert!”
The rest came to help him, and Axl tried to stay out the door, “And I know you all love me-“
Finally they got him in.
“Ok, what was up with that?” Slash asked.
“Probably stupid gossip.” Izzy replied, “What I’m wondering is how they found where we were…”
Axl stared at the TV, then jumped out the window.
“Wh- Axl!” Steven yelled.
They all turned to Slash, “Where’d he go!?” they asked.
“What? How should I know?!” He replied.
Suddenly, they turned to the TV in shock.
“Oh…”
“My…”
“God….” Izzy finished.
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