Harry REALLY should consider buying a car....
- Yes, it was short, but it tells the story. Both Harry ad Carla are going to have to learn to deal with differences in their lives. (Teddy too!)
Why would Harry send Carla off to Surrey to school when he lives almost 150 Km away? He'd have too transfer her to a local school, if only to shorten his morning commute.
Actually, Harry and Neville are old friends...nearly brothers. It would be considered rude to offer to pay him. (But that's just the way I was trained. In other parts of the world, I suppose it would be different.)
I think you've hit the rain bit right on the head. I was raised in New MMexico ad rain was rare there. Here in SW Washington, it rains more often than not, sometimes from nearly clear skies!
As before, eagerly await the next chapter
of 'Daddy Dearest'.
Author's responseIs it? I always thought that London (where Harry lives) and Surrey were right next to each other.
Well, that teaches me to put some actual work into my research next time.... -_-;
- Drivers in LA are as bad as the ones you describe in Hawaii; I swear they forget from one storm to the next how to drive in rain. Ah, well, I'm long gone from there and it's unlikely I'll go back.
I'm enjoying this story and this chapter does a good job of setting the stage for further developments. I think Harry's offering to pay Neville was thoughtful since the sitting would be eating into Neville's working time and it sounds like Neville is self-employed.
- I think the handful of Galleons was perhaps a bit rude (they are friends, after all), but it doesn't kill the chapter. What does do it harm though, is the that the "few minutes" turns into a two hour bike ride, after which he apparates home.
I'm not sure what this chapter was supposed to show us, but I suspect it'd have been better said as a paragraph or two in the next one rather than fifteen-hundred words of not much.
In any case, it's a good story and I will continue to read it. Thanks.
- Yes, Little Whinging is a distant suburb of London -- a 2 hour commute even the the rain is a bit long.
Why would Carla return to a Surrey school? Plenty of schools in London, and in any case most in the Wizarding community homeschool (less chance of accidentally revealing the magical world).
Unless the points really will lead to something -- Neville being paid for baby sitting, Carla having to go to that school for some obscure reason, Harry too dumb not to ride in the rain while apparating in dry weather -- the chapter seems a bit pointless right now. I thought it was to have Harry confront some of the teachers who did nothing about his obvious abuse, but I guess not
- Never mind the car -- with two-kids-and-a-hope, Harry is already in minivan territory, what with dragging the kids-and-stuff along while doing shopping etc (single-parent experience here), as well as the size and durability of the metal box surrounding the kids.
If that was Sirius' old bike, why didn't he fly it down? If it's not... I dunno that a bike is really in-character for him to have, especially the homebody you're building him up as. Keep that point in mind for rewrite time, I guess -- don't break stride to touch it up now.
I agree with DrT (good to see you pop up btw Dr Lewis): wherever Teddy attends, Carla should transfer.
- rain? slow down the drivers of england? as ron would say "Not bloody likely, mate". Not too badly britpicked (primary school, not elementary, well done) but one primary school for half a county isnt likely. If it was Little Whinging Primary school then that might be likely. more likely still would be some local notable (cricketer is good for surrey)or the name of the school the street was on.
none the less good story
- Why are you making this poor child introduce herself to all these stangers? Harry should do that. And why has he never introduced himself as anything other than "grandma's Friend" wouldn't a relative be more comforting.
Weird Transportation again. but others have already commented on it.
Where does Teddy go to school? Wouldn't it be more convenient for them to go the same place?
A suggestion... if you still want him to go back to the school he attended as a child, have him go there to unenroll her or have her records transferred to her new school.
Also if he wanted to know the day classes start he should have asked the headmaster I know I wouldn't have known that information at six. I didn't learn how calendars worked until second grade.