Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Son of the Serpents

Chapter 8: The Hulk?

by selenepotter 1 review

A huge hulking stranger shows up at the Serpent Citadel. The Misfits, Draco Malfoy. . .

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: R - Genres: Angst,Crossover,Humor - Characters: Draco,Hagrid,Harry - Warnings: [!!!] [V] [?] - Published: 2008-10-25 - Updated: 2008-10-25 - 3606 words

Harry Potter is owned by JK Rowling
The Serpent Society is owned by Marvel Comics.

Chapter 8: The Hulk?

The Taskmaster wasn’t used to training super-powered beings. Normally, his students were normal adults. But for years he had been making an exception for his favorite student, his girlfriend’s foster son, the Rattler. With Bushmaster’s help, he’d added electromagnets to his weight machines so he could accurately gauge the Rattler’s rapidly increasing strength.

“That’s enough, Larry. You can lower them now,” said the Taskmaster, as the Rattler lowered the weights on the forward (bench) press machine.

“How much was that?” asked the Rattler.

“Ten tons,” replied the Taskmaster. “I estimate that you have speed, strength and agility equal to Spiderman’s!”

“Wow!” said the Rattler.

“I wouldn’t recommend taking him on, if I were you,” warned the Taskmaster. “Spiderman is a lot more experienced than you. For now, we keep working on imitating his moves, like I showed you.”

“Yes sir,” replied the Rattler.

“Now hit the showers,” commanded the Taskmaster. “I want to talk to you mother.”

“What is it?” asked Diamondback, once her foster son had left them.

“Rachel, as much as I love teaching Larry, (he’s my favorite student) his powers are growing beyond my abilities to keep up with,” said the Taskmaster. “I think you should consider sending him to the Massachusetts Academy this fall. The headmistress is a mutant and has several super-powered students (mostly mutants) that she is teaching to control their powers.”

“Alright. Let’s go visit this weekend and check it out,” agreed Diamondback.


As they rode home from the Taskmaster’s school, it began to rain. By the time they arrived at the Serpent Citadel, it was a full-blow thunderstorm. After dinner, the Rattler helped Bushmaster work on one of the cars that “the elves” hadn’t gotten around to repairing yet. Soon the 11-year old became bored and left the garage to go back to his room. He had just stepped into the foyer of the fake house that disguised their underground complex when, the front door came crashing down! There was a flash of lighting that silhouetted the huge figure that had knocked down the door.

“Ahhh!!!” screamed the Rattler, before apparating back to his living room with a:


“The Hulk!” yelled the Rattler, as he appeared.

The Taskmaster leapt off of Diamondback, as she struggled to pull the top of her costume back up.

“Larry!” gasped Diamondback, while her boyfriend zipped up the back of her costume for her.

“What’s this about the Hulk?” asked the Taskmaster.

“He just knocked down the front door!” yelled the Rattler, ignoring the compromising position he’d just caught his mother in with the man he wanted to be his father.

Diamondback didn’t hesitate to activate the alarm on the wall. Bushmaster had suggested installing something like it to prevent another repeat of the Viper’s coup. But the next morning, they awoke to find the system already installed, another present from the “elves”.

“Larry, stay here,” commanded the Taskmaster. “If the Hulk gets too close, teleport to my school.”

Black Racer was the first to arrive at the front door. “The Hulk was just a huge as she’d heard. The beard was a surprise, though.

“Ow! Ow! Ow!” groaned Hagrid, as the speedster rained blows upon him. “Stupefiy! Petrificus Totalis! Impedimenta!”

Finally, he managed to catch her with a Jelly-legs jinx shot from his pink umbrella.


Sidewinder, was next to arrive.

Seeing Black Racer’s predicament, he teleported behind the huge intruder and punched him in the kidney.

“Ow!” groaned Hagrid, as he swung a fist back at where Sidewinder had been before he had teleported in another direction.

By now, the Cobra had arrived. He leaped onto Hagrid’s umbrella wielding arm and latched on. Hagrid thrashed about as the Cobra kept moving around his body to keep from getting hit.

When Anaconda arrived, and saw the huge intruder shooting rays out of the pink umbrella, she stretched her arms forward. One hand relieved Hagrid of his Umbrella while the other arm wrapped around the arm that the Cobra wasn’t clinging unto, immobilizing the limb.

By now, Diamondback and the Taskmaster had arrived. The Taskmaster drew back his bow shot Hagrid with a copy of one of Hawkeye’s bola arrows, at the same time that Diamondback threw a throwing diamond, tipped with a paralyzing venom.


Hagrid awoke to find himself surrounded by people dressed in outlandish form-fitting costumes. Most of them were dressed as snakes!

“We can tell you’re awake,” said Sidewinder, as he held up the Hogwarts letter. “Now talk! Who are you? What is the meaning of this letter? How did you find our hideout? Who is this Harry Potter?”


After they had interrogated Hagrid, at length, they decided to discuss the idea of going to Hogwarts with Larry.

“So I would get to learn magic?” asked Larry.

“Yes, and remember the British authorities have a different attitude towards magic than here,” pointed out the Taskmaster. “Here, the law enforcement authorities treat magic as just another super-power. Granted, magical criminals are rare. That’s why they assumed you were a mutant when you used accidental magic to heal your broken neck when you got caught. If they had realized that you were a mage, they would have adjusted your restraint collar accordingly and called in handlers from the Department of Magic.

In Britain, the Magic wielders are almost totally cut off from the mundane world. As a result, it you use magic in mundane Britain to commit crimes, their Ministry of Magic will come down hard on you to maintain secrecy. However, within wizarding Britain, their laws are only concerned with using magic to commit crimes. In fact, there are even spells that carry an automatic life sentence. But they have no laws at all against using “muggle” means to commit crimes! As long as you stick to the skills I’ve taught you, you can break British laws in the wizarding world to your heart’s content! What are they going to do about it? Turn you over to the muggle authorities for prosecution? That would involve breaking their all-important secrecy laws!”

“You also need to consider what you’re going to do about your identity,” pointed out Diamondback. “This Hagrid, tells me that as Harry Potter, you are quite famous in Britain. And you tail is a bit conspicuous. I suggest that you have the link between Harry Potter and the Rattler be publicly known amongst the wizards, but that you keep Larry Lieghton as a secret identity, in case you need it.”

“Good idea, Rachel!” said the Taskmaster, nodding.

“I will, of course be going with you to Britain until you go off to school,” said Diamondback, before turning to her boyfriend. “Are you coming, Phil?”

“We all are going,” announced Sidewinder.


They were walking the streets of New York City, heading for the Department of Magic’s office in Greenwitch Villiage. (coincidently, across the street from Dr. Strange’s house) For security reasons, they were spread out so they wouldn’t accidently get captured, and all of them were in plain clothes. Hargid was walking with the Rattler, who was dressed as a normal 11-year-old boy, except for his black trenchcoat that his tail was curled up under. His Shadow Cloak was in his knap sack. A few paces behind them walked Diamondback and the Taskmaster, also in plain clothes. A few paces behind them, the Asp was pushing Bushmaster’s wheelchair. He felt very naked without his cybernetic tail, though he was still wearing his cybernetic arms. They’d preplanned this, and although he couldn’t do it fast enough to help in a fight, if Bushmaster needed his tail, the Rattler could pull it out of his Shadow Cloak from its’ hiding place in his room back at their headquarters. The rest of the Serpent Society were following in small groups with Black Racer, Sidewinder and Black Mamba in the rear group.


As Hagrid and “Harry” turned a corner, they spotted a couple of costumed figures bouncing by. One was dressed in a brown, medieval-looking costume. The man wrestling him , as they hopped was dressed as a green frog with springs on his feet! As Frogman and the Toad bounced and wrestled, their trajectory carried them through the plate glass window of a pet store that was advertizing a special on frogs. As soon as the crashed through the window, thousands of frogs swarmed over the two of them.

“ribbit!” “ribbit!” “ribbit!” “ribbit!” “ribbit!”

Nearby, Spiderman, who had been trying to fight off 12 drunken gunmen without anyone being hurt by a stray shot, took one look at Frogman and the Toad and said: “Tell the truth! The Human Torch put you up to this, didn’t he?”
“Harry” picked up Hagrid, bodily and drug him into an Ally.

“Wha’ ya’ doin’ ‘arry?” asked Hagrid.

“Shhh!” shushed Harry. “That’s Spiderman out there! We’ll have to go around!”


Harry turned to see a boy, about his own age, dressed as Spiderman and wearing a harness from which projected a quartet of cybernetic spider legs that resembled the enhancements used by Doctor Octopus. The boy ignored them as he went past them and emerged from the alley shouting: “Don’t worry Spidey! The SPECTACULAR SPIDER KID will save you!”

Harry, Hagrid, the Taskmaster and the Serpent Society took a detour through the alley, but eventually made it to the Department of Magic office, so they could buy a legal, international portkey to Britain.


To their great disappointment the Serpent Society were not allowed to go shopping in Diagon Alley with Harry. He could only bring his “parents” with him, Diamondback and the Taskmaster. They all wore their costumes on the shopping trip, as Hagrid thought they would be less conspicuous than muggle clothes.

In the Leaky Cauldron, he was treated like a celebrity by the people there, including his future professor, Quinnius Quirrel. When they saw what was in Harry’s vault, Diamondback looked around at all the other vault doors, before sharing a knowing look with Harry.

The adults left Harry alone at Madame Malkin’s. He was standing next to a blonde, pale faced boy who kept rambling on in a one-sided conversation as they were fitted for their robes.

“Can you believe they let mudbloods into Hogwarts?” drawled Draco Malfoy. “It’s such a crime that they let such inferior people in!”

“Are you some kind of racist?” growled Harry as he pulled one of Electra’s sais from his Shaddow Cloak. “I HATE RACISTS!”

Before anyone could stop him, he’d knocked Draco Malfoy onto his back and plunged the sai into his Heart!


Elsewhere, Electra leaped off of the roof at the ninja and drew her sais from the scabbards tied to her thighs only to find one of them was missing! She punched the Ninja with her empty hand before running him through with her other sai.


Gladys Martin was a muggleborn witch. She’d completed one year of Healer training before finances forced her to drop out. Now she worked for Madame Malkin, hoping to save up enough money to resume her education. She had been as shocked as anyone when the boy dressed as a snake (complete with a tail!) had pulled some sort of pointy, bladeless sword out of nowhere and stabbed the Malfoy boy! She knew immediately that the sword had gone through the boy’s heart and she had only seconds to act. While the other witches in the shop were trying to restrain the snake-boy with stunners and body-binds, which the boy dodged, as he back-flipped out of the shop, she cast a stasis charm on the snotty Malfoy spawn that had been callng her “mudblood whore”. She didn’t think he could be saved. The wound was definitely fatal! But she could at least, prevent him from dying!

“Whoa! ‘arry! Wha’s goin’ on?” asked Hagrid as Harry backflipped out of the robe shop and into the huge man.

Madam Malkin, herself, led a group of her employees out of her shop. All of the witches had their wands drawn and pointed at Harry.

“I’ve already floo-called the Aurors,” announced Madam Malkin. “If you ever get out of Azakaban, you are not welcome in my store!”


A couple of men in red-robes appeared out of thin air. The older one had a magical artificial eye that rotated wildly and a peg leg in the shape of a claw. The younger one was a shaven-headed black man.

“Aurors, arrest that boy!” demanded Madame Malkin. “He killed one of my customers!”

“He was a racist prick who deserved it!” retorted Harry, as he pulled Flag Smasher’s shield of his Shaddow Cloak. (It had belonged to the original Captain America, by Flag smasher had kept it after liberating it from the new Captain America. Nowdays, the new Captain America used an admantium copy made by Tony Stark, while the Captain, as the original Cap now called himself, used a vibranium copy made by the Black Panther)

“Boy, you are under arrest for casting the Unforgivable Killing Curse,” announced Auror Moody.

“But I didn’t cast any curse at all!” protested Harry.

“Rattler, I mean Harry, how did you kill this boy?” asked the Taskmaster.

“All I did, was stab him!” replied Harry.

“Kingley, you stay out here and keep an eye on the boy, CONSTANT VIGILENCE!” commanded auror Moody. “I’ll go take a look at the body”

“I’m going with you,” demanded the Taskmaster.

“And who might you be, death eater?” demanded Moody of skull-masked man heavily weighted down with various muggle weapons.

“I don’t know who ‘Deatheater’ is, but you are mistaken if you think I’m him. I’m the Taskmaster. I run a school where I teach people fighting techniques.”

“Well I don’t care who you claim to be!” growled auror Moody. “There’s no way I’m turning my back on someone in a skull mask! CONSTANT VIGILENCE! After you!”

While Mad-eye Moody and the Taskmaster were investigating the body and found that there was no magic on the said, Harry looked at the box in Hagrid’s hands.

“What’s in the box?” asked Harry.

“It’s a birfday present,” explained Hagrid. “I wanted to get you an owl, but the other two talked me out of it. They thought you’d like this better.”

When he opened the box, a King Cobra reared its’ flared head out of the box.

“Cool!” exclaimed Harry. “~Are you going to be my new friend?~”

“~You speak?~” hissed the snake, in surprise.

“Blimey Harry, you’re a parselmouth!” gasped Hagrid, jealously. “I wish I could talk to snakes like that!”

Just then, Moody and the Taskmaster came out of the shop.

“Well, it all checks out,” said Moody. “No magic was used, so no crime was committed. Good work kid. I’ve been trying to nail his father for years! The little snot probably would have turned out just like his old man. What’s your name kid?”

“Rattler, No! Harry! Harry Potter.”

“Harry Potter!?!” exclaimed aurors Moody and Shacklebolt, together, incredulously.

“Well, keep up the good work kid,” sad Moody, shaking Harry’s hand. “And remember, CONSTANT VIGILENCE!”


Back at the hotel, after shopping, the Serpent Society made plans. Seeing how much gold was in Harry’s vault, they knew that Gringot’s had to be full of gold! If they used purely muggle means to get it, they could loot the entire bank and get away scott-free. This would be the Rattler’s first heist. This plan was simple, since the Rattler had been there before, He could teleport himself and Sidewinder inside. Once Sidewinder had the co-ordinates, he could carry the rest of the Serpent Society in.

The Rattler took Sidewinder’s hand and tried to teleport to his vault, deep inside Gringot’s.


Nothing happened.

Try your Shadow Cloak, suggested the Asp.

The Rattler willed the Shaddow Cloak to envelope himself and Sidewinder. They stepped out of the cloak deep in the depths of Gringots, next to Harry’s vault. Sidewinder activated the circuits of his teleportation cloak and teleported away. While he was alone, Harry decided to try using his Shadow Cloak to get into the vault next his.


A bell began ringing, some sort of goblin alarm system. Worst than that, the Shadow Cloak had failed to respond to his thought when he tried to enter the vault! He tried to use the Shadow Cloak to return to the hotel. Nothing happened! Harry heard the clanking sound of a heavily armed and armored groups of goblins in the distance, charging down the tunnels. Harry reach into his Shadow Cloak for a weapon. Nothing happened!

Toad (Mortimer Toynbee) is a Marvel Comics supervillain, an enemy of the X-Men. Created by writer Stan Lee and artist/co-writer Jack Kirby, he first appeared in X-Men #4 (March 1964).
Toad was originally a weak, hunchbacked mutant, with a superhuman leaping ability and protracted tongue. He was Magneto’s sniveling servant in the 1960s line-up of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants. He eventually led his own version of the Brotherhood, which was more involved in petty crime than mutant liberation.
Ray Park played a significantly different Toad in 2000’s X-Men film.
Frog-Man (Eugene Patilio) is a minor comedic superhero created by writer J. M. DeMatteis and artist Kerry Gammill for Marvel Comics. His first appearance was in Marvel Team-Up #131.
Fictional character biography
Eugene Patillo was born in Brooklyn, New York, the son of Vincent Patillo, the minor Daredevil supervillain Leap-Frog. After several defeats by Daredevil, Iron Man, and Spider-Man, which eventually landed him in jail, Vincent had decided to retire and go straight.
His son, Eugene, donned his father's costume as Fabulous Frog-Man in an attempt to be a crime-fighter to clear his father's name. However, his crime-fighting career became essentially a joke. His two major enemy villains are the White Rabbit, a villainess inspired by the Alice in Wonderland character, and the Walrus, a dimwitted character who essentially had the proportionate abilities of a walrus (tough skin and super-strength, though well below Spider-Man's class).
Frog-Man had a tendency to capture villains simply by dumb luck. Eugene's inability to fully pilot his automated Frog-Man costume caused him to wildly bounce around, scoring sure wins against villains by crashing into them. This questionable method of fighting supervillains accounts for his luck in dealing with the Yellow Claw and Speed Demon. (It should be noted that Captain America assisted in the battle against the Claw.) Both villains were later contacted by the White Rabbit with proposals for an alliance against him. She later complained to Walrus that both men laughed her off as soon as they heard her codename.
He also participated, along with Spider-Kid and The Toad, in a short-lived super-team called the Misfits.
Vincent Patilio was very proud of his son, yet at the same time very worried about him risking his life. He even prevented his son from joining the Defenders. Considering his son's luck, Vincent shouldn't have to worry too much about anything too bad.
Powers and abilities
Frog-Man's suit contains electrical coils on the soles of its flippers which allows him to leap great distances. The boots' power source is worn on his back like a back pack. In addition, internal padding of the suit enables Frog-man to bounce off objects with little danger.
• Frog-Man made a brief appearance in Fantastic Four: World's Greatest Heroes episode "The Cure", where, after the Thing was "cured" of his condition, he was a potential recruit as a new member of the Fantastic Four; Frog-Man was rejected after accidentally bashing his own head off the ceiling during his audition for the team.[2]

The Steel Spider (Oliver "Ollie" Osnick) is a fictional character who appears in the comic books published by Marvel Comics, primarily in the various Spider-Man titles.
Fictional character biography
Ollie Osnick was a gifted (albeit overweight) young teenager who idolized Doctor Octopus. Ollie used his genius to design his own mechanical tentacles. He even got a group of kids to dress up as super-villains but they soon ran out on him. Ollie eventually ran away from home and broke into a toy store.
There he knocked out an elderly guard causing him to believe he killed him. When Spider-Man swung onto the scene he believed that it was actually Dr. Octopus at work and the hero gave chase. Fortunately Spider-Man realized in time that it was not Ock he was facing because when they both fell into a water tank he easily ripped apart a tentacle- something that he was never able to do with Ock. So he dragged "Doc Ock" back to the surface where he learned it was actually Ollie he was chasing. By then the guard had woken up and Spider-Man got Ollie back home safely.
Ollie was so impressed by Spider-Man, that he modified his tentacles into spider-legs, and then donned a Spider-Man Halloween costume, and became the Spider-Kid. Ollie's heroic activities often resulted in him having to be saved by Spider-Man. He was involved (along with Frog-Man and the Toad) in a short-lived super-hero team called "the Misfits." Ollie was eventually talked into hanging up his costume and became a normal child.

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