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Dear Persephone,
I happened to observe you outside with your mother a little while ago. You seem interesting . . . do you think you may want a pen pal? It gets very quiet down here, and I find myself bored with solitude.
Sincerely,
Hades

Hades,
I don't think so. I'm very busy. Anyway, aren't you surrounded by dead people? You've got plenty of company.
Persephone
P.S. What do you mean, "interesting"?

Dear Persephone,
I'm sorry, but I would prefer if you didn't bring up the unpleasantries of my job. I'm all too aware that my occupation is . . . well, less than desirable, and I assure you it was not by choice that I was assigned to the Underworld. I have my brother to thank for that.
At any rate, when I said "interesting" I meant that you seem different from most living girls - that's a good thing - and I simply assumed you might like to have someone to talk to.If that's not the case, I apologize for wasting your time.
Sincerely,
Hades

Hades,
Sorry I was snippy in my last letter. It's just that you're kinda different, too. I guess I thought you seem kind of antisocial. If you don't like your job, why don't you quit? I mean, you're older than your brother, aren't you?
Anyway, I guess I can squeeze in time for your letters. Just don't get mad if I don't write very often.
Persephone

Dear Persephone,
Oh, I understand if you can't write frequently. Mail is slow to the Underworld anyway. And I never get angry.
I may be older than Zeus, but he is, as they say, the "big dog." I can no sooner undermine his authority than he can raise my dead. Actually, my job isn't all that bad. I don't know if you've noticed, but I tend to be somewhat awkward with the living. I think I may get along better with the dead.
The common misconception people have when they think of me is that I'm Death. Yes, I'm the God of Death, but I don't kill people. Honestly, I'm more like the God of Dead People. It's absolutely ridiculous how terrified of me most mortals are - some of them won't even speak my name aloud. Superstitious nonsense - as if I have the time or energy to punish them for something so trivial. I'm not as scary as everyone thinks I am.
Sincerely,
Hades

Dear Hades,
You actually don't sound scary. But, like, whenever I see you aboveground (which isn't that often), you always look so dark and creepy. No offense.
Why don't you get out more? Just take a night off and have some fun. Go out with Bacchus and his friends or something.
Sincerely,
Persephone
P.S. You can call me Percy.

Dear Persephone,
I don't like Bacchus, and he doesn't like me. I don't drink, so he's taken the liberty of labeling me as a "stiff." I suppose you could call me strange, but I don't enjoy festivities. At all. Being surrounded by people and loud noises just makes me uncomfortable. I always end up just standing in a corner by myself. Really, Percy, I'd have a better time staying home.
Sincerely,
Hades
P.S. I must say that I think Percy is an extremely endearing nickname.

Dear Hades,
I had to look up "endearing." You think it's cute? Really? My mom says it's too boyish. She thinks I should go by my full name all the time.
You know, your name is too short for me to give you a nickname . . . I'll have to think of something.
I know you don't like parties, but my mom and my sisters are throwing a Harvest party next month. I don't think they'd mind if I invited you. It'll be fun, and I'll introduce you to people. it wouldn't hurt to go out and loosen up a little, Hades. Please tell me you'll at least think about it, okay?
Sincerely,
Percy

Dear Percy,
I don't know. When I say I don't like parties, I mean I reallydon't like parties at all. Will Bacchus be there?
By the way, I don't think Percy is masculine at all. I think it's very . . . what was the word you used? . . . cute.
Gods. I don't think I've ever used that term before.
Sincerely,
Hades

Dear Hades,
Bacchus will be there - I mean, you can't not invite him to a party - but that doesn't mean you have to hang out with him. I promise it'll be fun, and if you don't like it you can leave right away. Please?!
Your hopeful friend,
Percy