Quistis' thoughts as she writes her resignation.
I have given this matter some serious thought and I now wish to hand in my notice as I am moving to Winhill and therefore it will be too far to commute each day if I want to spend any time with my family. I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone for making me feel so welcome at Balamb Garden. A special Thank you goes of course to Edea and yourself Headmaster for all the years of care that I have received from you both. I do hope that you will still keep in touch.
I will of course work the obligatory two weeks notice to ensure that when a replacement is found I can be there to offer as much help as necessary although of course I will only be a phone call away if anything is needed.
I would also like to take the opportunity to suggest that Xu would be an ideal candidate to take over this post.
There, it was done, it was a bit more informal than it should be in the circumstances but she knew that neither Cid nor Edea would have accepted anything less. Now all that remains was to print and sign it and then she could hand it in first thing tomorrow. She knew this would come as a shock to a lot of people – after all, she went through so much to get to the point were she could have this job but it was just no longer feasible. Commuting to Balamb Garden every day was just too tiring.
She looked down at the note on her desk where she had figured it all out - she had narrowed it down to three options, resignation was her third choice.
1. Continue commuting from Winhill on a daily basis.
2. Stay in Garden for work returning home for the weekends.
3. Resign from Garden.
The simple fact was that she had been doing the first option of travelling every day but it was just too tiring. When she got home, all she wanted to do was to curl up and sleep. She really missed being able to talk to him – needed to be able to do more than simply fall asleep in the bed beside him at night. As for seeing him only at the weekends – forget it. She knew that there was just no way on earth that either of them could be happy with that agreement. Surprisingly enough he had been the one to suggest it – Even as he said it, she knew that it wouldn’t be a real option. Even though at present they were barely more than sleeping partners, the thought of not seeing him every day was unthinkable.
Those were the only options. Of course there were people who would say that she could just leave him but how could she? She had travelled to the ends of the earth and back again to save him, later she had had to risk everything to free him again. To leave him after everything that they had been through together was unthinkable. Resignation therefore was the only option.
Some days she let herself think over everything that had conspired to bring them together. It still made her laugh on one level but it also blew her mind sometimes – not least because she had to admit that every last romantic novel that she had ever read when she had free time (not that it happened too often) and then later dismissed as complete rubbish was in fact proved to be true – her heart DID miss a beat when he walked into a room, they COULD find each other across a crowded room, he DID make her blush when she seen him or when he talked to her on the phone (one day she still could remember when he managed to make her blush so badly that she had stayed red for an hour), she DID know when he walked into a room as she could sense him but the weirdest sensation was definitely when he phoned her and the whole world just melted away. Of course she only noticed whenever she hung up and suddenly the whole world seemed to come rushing back.
She smiled and shook her head and said out loud “it’s all Cid’s fault anyway. If he hadn’t got me to work in such close proximity with him on his return and in fact to ensure that he was able to return, this would never have happened!” Really that was the truth too because after the embarrassment of thinking she was in love with Squall and Seifer, she had never thought that she would be able to deal with another man again but he seemed to take it into his head that she was worth the effort and she was so glad every day that he had – not that it was by any means easy to get to the point where they were today.
When she had saved him and brought him back to Garden, they had been like two lions circling each other looking for a weakness of course while that may have been true, she also found there verbal sparring enjoyable and no matter what (and this was really the most bizarre thing) he always managed to make her laugh even when he had insulted her – that was the first time that she realised that first off, she had changed and even more importantly, she actually fancied him. She did her best to hide it from him but the truth was that he would have been hard pushed to have missed it but rather than this making her feel embarrassed about it, he was so calm about the whole thing and didn’t use it to his own advantage (okay the odd comment did slip from his mouth but they were said in such a manner that she was left feeling like he was complimented – it was a nice sensation). So gradually the guarded comments and distrust that had been there when he came to Garden disappeared to be replaced by light verbal sparring that she found invigorating and enjoyable. Yet despite that, whenever he asked her out, he still managed to steal the breath from her. It wasn’t particularly romantic but his face when he asked her was so sincere that for the first time, she let herself hope. She remembered it clearly; they had finished their most recent assignment and were in the cafeteria eating their lunch when he said:
“You know Quistis, for a first date, we haven’t exactly done anything exciting have we?” When she realised what he had said, she was ready at that stage to get up and walk out thinking that he had crossed a line but she looked at him and realised that he was serious. “Um...I wasn’t aware that this was a date!” He looked at her confused for a second and said in a cocky manner “oh right I knew I forgot something – hmm in that case I will have to start again. Right so, can you do me a favour, can you remind me tomorrow to ask you out on a date?” She just looked at him for a second and when he realised that she was not going to speak he spoke himself “Hyne, I am making such a mess of this. When I thought this in my head, it sounded so funny – mind you, in my head, you were in stitches when I said this, I hadn’t planned for the fact that you appear to have suddenly turned to a statue.” He started looking through his pockets “I think I have a spare soft here somewhere.” That was enough to snap Quistis out of her thoughts “This had better not be a joke on your part Mister!” With that, he had leant over the table and oh so gently placed his lips against hers. When he pulled away, he simply said that he had wanted to do that for ages. That had been the start of their affair and two weeks from tomorrow they would celebrate their first Wedding Anniversary and now it would also be the start of their new life together and she just knew that it was going to be interesting.
So many people had been important to her here in Garden. Cid & Edea were definitely the best parents that children could have asked for. Squall, Zell, Rinoa, Selphie and Irvine were as close as any real siblings could be. Seifer – she remembered the different times that they had run-ins before the Sorceress Wars. He had driven her crazy but she knew that she had well and truly repaid the favour. Xu and Nida – everybody had been surprised when they had announced that they had gotten married – even her. She hadn’t even had an inkling – of course now that she knew, she wondered how she had never picked up on it before. They really made such a sweet couple.
Everybody round her at that stage had seemed to be paired off apart from her – Edea and Cid, Squall and Rinoa, Irvine and Selphie, Zell and Carrie (the girl from the Library) – even Fujin and Raijin had serious relationships at the time. In fact all of these relationships were still going strong. She was just starting to feel like a silly old maid when he had come back into her life.
She thought of him now. So changed from when she first knew him but she could admit that she had loved him from the first and as it turned out, he had loved her also but both were too wounded from earlier experiences to let themselves enjoy the ride. So they had fought bitterly. All that had changed straight during Time Compression because surprisingly he had been the one to find her and help her find the way home. He said that it was because he was pissed at her – she had believed him. So Seifer came back to Garden but there were people who couldn’t forgive him. A huge trial occurred – at the behest of Matron, she had done everything in her power (all totally legal of course) to get him released because the truth was that Ultimecia had simply been too strong a force to be reckoned with – he had merely been her pawn. After what seemed like a battle more exhausting and demanding than that against the great Sorceress, Seifer came back to Garden.
He was no longer the same though. Oh he was still cocky but gone was the arrogance. He had fallen and had fallen hard. He knew now that he wasn’t superior. When Quistis had realised this, she let go of her anger and gradually – so gradually that she hardly noticed it in fact – their relationship changed for the better. Not that she would have admitted that to him though. Sometimes she couldn’t admit it to herself! How could you feel like you hate someone for most of your life and then fall for him – things like that did not happen to Quistis Trepe. The day that she realised that she was looking forward to seeing him in class, was the day that she nearly
The day that she realised that she loved him was the worst and best day in her life so far. It was the worst because she had to resign herself to the fact that while she had found the one man in the world that she was totally mad about, he did not feel the same. It was the best because finally everything fitted. She had never in her life felt any real strong attraction for a man. She would have thought that she was not that way inclined but for the fact that NO ONE could affect her. Not until she got to know him.
What was the thing that made her realise finally that she loved him? It was when he had been away on a mission without her (the first and actually the only since his return). It had taken her a while to realise that she was lost without having seen or heard from him in so long. When she thought about it, she realised that she was ALWAYS happier when she had seen or talked to him – it hit her like a ton of bricks then as she sat there that she was in love or at the very least heading that way. From that moment on, she blushed, sensed him walking into a room (but the more she thought on that one, she knew she always could but was more aware of it now) and the strangest thing was that their banter became so amusing that she couldn’t help but laugh with him. With that, their relationship had gone from strength to strength. Everyone noticed the change in her but when the day came that they announced that they were seeing each other and that it was serious, you could still have heard a pin drop. She smiled at that.
The best thing? The fact that they still had the banter flowing between them. Before he had asked her out, she had convinced herself that if they had ever started dating, they would lose that spark but they hadn’t and every day, she thanked Hyne for the turn of events that brought them together. That too made her smile – imagine thanking anyone never mind a Deity for the Sorceress War! But she knew that they had changed irrevocably because of it – she loved him so much that she accepted his past wholly. She believed wholeheartedly that if things hadn’t worked out as they did, Seifer and her would never have got together. They would never have seen behind each other’s facades and they both would have lost something so precious.
With that thought in mind, she sealed the envelope. Moving to Winhill for his new job would be worth it to be with him. Honestly, she could admit that if he asked it, she would live on the islands of heaven and hell to be with him. That was okay because she knew that he felt every bit as strongly for her.
She thought of the news she would share with him when he got home in an hour’s time. He would make a wonderful father.