"Wanna play a game, fag?" he demanded as he grabbed my collar and slugged me painfully across the face.
all that needs to be said, really
i like this... a lot... you definitely have to write more.
the line: "...or c] that person was me" was great...
Hey i really like this fic so far, it's awsome!
Can't wait to read to more.
OH. MY. FRERARD.
I lub it wiff all my famous last words heeeart. It's really amazing, and you should give yourself ALOT more credit. I have one request:
CUT TO THE X RATED FUN STUFF! por favor.
This was a good start I think I'll read the rest know. You created tension quite well in it and moved it in a nice fast pace so it wasn't too boring. Great job
Oh My God.
This was awesome!
I agree with TrekkieMonster - Give yourself WAAAY more credit! [That pun was unintentional, I swear.]
But yeah, don't totally rush to the X-rated stuff. It needs to develop as a story, right?
Squeee! I love it, so far. :D
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