A Ferard One-shot.
"Do you know how long this weekend is going to drag for me?" I sighed, holding him tightly and leaning my forehead against his. "Do you really have to go?"
"Unfortunately." Frank said, kissing me for the millionth time since we ended up in a tight embrace. He wasn't real happy about having to go to some college visit but his mother said he had to or he wasn't allowed at my house anymore; and that was something neither of us wanted; ever. "I'll call you every five seconds." He said, some of his dorky childish charm flowing out again. That's one of many things I loved about Frank. He acted like a five year old; a five year old who was fortunately seventeen because he was amazingly gorgeous and I couldn't keep my hands off him.
"I thought you weren't going to college." I said, doing everything I can to drag out our time together.
"I don't plan on it but I won't be eighteen for another seven months which is way to fucking long to go without you." Frank kissed me again, our lips wanting badly to fuse together but he pulled away to prevent them from doing so; my mouth staying in a frown like position. "Two days; that's all."
"I'm already missing you." I whispered into his ear, kissing his neck afterwards. Frank let go of me, causing me to do the same.
"I have to go now babe." He said with a little sorrow in his voice. I knew he didn't want to go and I didn't really want him to go either. "I'll call you when I get there." Frank kissed me one last time then began to walk to the car, our hands holding onto each other until our arms couldn't stretch any further; my arm falling to my side like it was dead as my eyes swelled with tears.
We had been apart before but for some reason, this was extremely painful. It was only tonight, Friday, until Sunday night when he would be home again yet I was having difficulties dealing with him leaving. I mean, we have been apart for a week or so before and I haven't felt this alone. He smiled at me and waved, blowing me a kiss as he backed out of my driveway and pulled away. I watched the car disappear before I started crying; I couldn't help it.
Pulling out my cellphone, I quickly typed 'I love you' and sent it to him; receiving his reply a few minutes later. "Love you too now let me drive :3" I laughed a little as I slid my phone back into my pocket, wiping my eyes and walking back inside the house where Mikey was playing video games.
"Dude, it's just the weekend." He called over his shoulder as he frantically killed whatever was on the screen. "Man up."
"You don't understand Mikey." I said to him, passing the living room and going to the kitchen where I grabbed a bottle of water and drank a little before joining him on the couch. "This time it just seems so weird..." I said and Mikey rolled his eyes, cursing at the game when he died before shutting it off.
"I know you're gay and all, but do you have to be that gay?" Mikey said with a small smile, falling back onto the couch. I smacked him then got up to go to my bedroom. I didn't feel like eating dinner or dealing with Mikey at the moment.
I drew in my room for a few hours, crumpling up the papers and scribbling things out because my mind just wasn't there. My mind was with Frank; wondering where he was and if he was ok. As I was working on a design of two bloody people kissing, my phone started to go off so I quickly chucked my pencil down and dug around in my pocket for it.
"God this place blows!" Frank said when I answered.
"Of course;" I said, trying to keep the pain from him not being here away. "I'm not there."
"That's the biggest reason." Frank said with amusement and I smiled, thinking about him standing there; alone and missing me. "But there's a bunch of preppy people everywhere; like people that are the top of their class and shit. Even if I wanted, I doubt I would get in here."
"Don't turn preppy on me." I said in a teasing voice and Frank laughed; even over the phone, that laugh made me melt. It was so sweet and innocent that I wish I could just squeeze him.
"I think I will." He joked with me. I got off the chair at my desk and went to my bed, laying down on my back and staring at the ceiling as I talked to him. "I'll come home with a tight polo shirt on that is tucked neatly into my brown dress pants; a sweater tied around my neck and my hair cut and combed neatly to my head."
"The sad thing is you would still be the most fucking gorgeous person in Jersey." I said and we both started laughing. "I think I would burn those clothes and throw holy water on you; performing a exorcist while the misfits are playing until the preppy demons left you."
"You're imagination if over active." Frank said, still laughing. "So, what were you drawing when I called?"
"How did you know I was drawing?" I asked, looking around my room a little to make sure there weren't any cameras or random spies.
"You're always drawing." He said with that 'I know everything about you' kind of tone. "It's what you do when you miss me."
"You've got my room rigged don't you?"
"Of course I do." He said, laughing a little more. "I want to make sure you're missing me when I'm not there and not replacing me with some cheap whore."
"Then you must not have enough cameras." I joked, both of us laughing again. "If it's so horrible, can't you come back early?"
"No; stupid workshop cost my mom a bunch of money and they take attendance." My heart sank a little as I turned onto my side to stare at the wall; the phone between the pillow and my head.
"What are you doing right now?" I asked in a quieter tone.
"Sitting on this bed in a dorm that I was assigned to staring at the wall while my roommates are out drinking." He sounded a little disappointed. "The best thing here is the hot guys roaming around."
"You're mine remember." I warned him with a smile. "I'll come there and haul your ass back home if you try anything Iero."
"I couldn't ever do anything with the guys here." There was amusement in Frank's voice as he spoke. "They're all muscular and tanned and play sports." Somehow I could picture the smile he had on his face as he spoke to me. "I like my guys thin, whiter than snow, and into comic books like the true nerds they are."
"I don't know if I should say 'thank you' or 'fuck you'." I said with a little laughter. "Well I like my men as childish, muscular, brats."
"Then we're the perfect match."
"You bet we are." I said warmly as I stared at the wall. "God my bed is so empty." I whined, getting up and throwing a bunch of my clothes onto the bed then laying back down as my clothes filled the empty space by me. For the most part, Frank and I always slept together. He would sneak out of his house a lot at night and come to mine or his mom would just let him stay over. She knew we were together together but I don't think she got the full gist of it.
"Yeah well I'm in an empty, foreign bed. If I can survive here, you can survive there." Frank said and I sighed.
"I'm not going to sleep." I told him with a little sadness in my voice which I couldn't prevent. "I can only sleep when you're in my arms."
"I can only sleep in your arms." Frank said with passion as well as pain in his voice. "I wish I didn't come Gee." He said and I could tell he was trying not to cry. I knew Frank all too well so I could tell when he was going to cry. He was pretty emotional and I loved it all the more.
"It's good for you." I told him, trying to make him feel better. "Now you can definitely decide that you don't want to go to college." He laughed very slightly and I knew I at least made him smile. "It's late babe. I know it's only like 9 here but it's got to be like 11 for you. Get some rest; or at least try."
"I don't think I can." He whispered into the phone.
"Do you want me to sing you a song?" I suggested because I knew Frank loved it when I sang to him. I would only sing to him though because I didn't like my voice all that much but he loved it. I would do anything to make Frank happy; even sing.
" A la nanita nana, nanita ea, nanita ea, mi Jesús tiene sueño, bendito sea, bendito sea. A la nanita nana, nanita ea, nanita ea, mi Jesús tiene sueño, bendito sea, bendito sea. Fuentecilla que corres clara y sonora ruiseñor que en la selva cantando lloras callad mientras la cuna se balancea
a la nanita nana, nanita ea. A la nanita nana, nanita ea, nanita ea, mi Jesús tiene sueño, bendito sea, bendito sea. A la nanita nana, nanita ea, nanita ea, mi Jesús tiene sueño, bendito sea,
bendito sea. Manojito de rosas y de alelies ¿qué es lo que estás soñando que te sonríes?
cuales son tus sueños, niño alma mía mas, ¿qué es lo que murmuras? Eucaristia. A la nanita nana, nanita ea, nanita ea, mi Jesús tiene sueño, bendito sea, bendito sea. A la nanita nana, nanita ea, nanita ea, mi Jesús tiene sueño, bendito sea, bendito sea. Pajaritos y fuentes, auras y brisas respetad ese sueño y esas sonrisas callad mientras la cuna se balancea que el niño esta soñando, bendito sea. A la nanita nana, nanita ea, nanita ea, mi Jesús tiene sueño, bendito sea, bendito sea. A la nanita nana, nanita ea, nanita ea, mi Jesús tiene sueño, bendito sea, bendito sea." I sang softly and quietly to him until I finished the song. It was some song I learned in Spanish class; a lullaby I think and it seemed to be perfect for the moment.
"Thanks Gee." Frank whispered from the other end and I could tell he was close to falling asleep.
"Good night Frankie." I whispered back to him.
"I love you."
"I love you more." I said with a smile. "Sweet dreams baby." I hung up my phone, passing out myself moments later.
I ran to the emergency room, Mikey trailing not too far behind me. The first nurse I saw I nearly pumbled as I tried to find out information. "Frank Iero; where is he?" I panted, trying to catch my breath and have her understand what I was saying.
"I'm sorry, who?" She said, Mikey catching up to me, just as out of breath as I was.
"Frank Iero." I repeated, catching enough breath to stand up and face her rather than lean over. "I got a phone call that he was in a car crash and brought here."
"I'll check in the back. You can have a seat. Are you family?" She asked, Mikey pulling me into a chair because we both know I wasn't going to get there myself.
"I'm his boyfriend and this is my brother." I said, the nurse giving me a semi-dirty look because everyone in the world seemed to be homophobic nowadays. "Please hurry; I'm really worried."
"I'll be right back." She said before disappearing behind double doors, giving me a glimpse of what was behind them. There were rooms and medical equipment in the halls; nurses and a doctor or two rushing around. My heart raced and I felt nauseous, my legs bouncing as I waited for the nurse to return.
"Calm down Gee." Mikey whispered to me, putting his arm around my shoulders and rubbing them gently. "I'm sure he's fine."
"He had to be flown here by a helicopter!" I said frantically to Mikey. "That's not fine!"
"Well you need to calm down anyway before you give yourself a panic attack." He was right; I did need to try to calm myself before I lost it. I didn't need to land myself in here somehow. I took deep breaths and tried to focus on the situation; tears coming to my eyes as I thought about Frank. It was 3 a.m. on Monday morning and to hell with the school if they thought I was showing up today. Frank was supposed to get home at 7 p.m. or so last night but never made it. I texted him numerous times, even tried to call, but he wouldn't reply or pick up. Then an hour or so ago I got a call from the emergency room saying he mumbled my name before passing out.
The nurse came back through the doors and I practically burst out of my chair as she approached me. "One of you can come back to see him."
"Me." I said without a second thought and Mikey nodded to her, confirming that it would be me. She looked me up and down slightly then sighed, telling me to follow her. We passed a few rooms with shut doors as well as the nurses' station where one lady was on the phone, talking to an ambulance or something I assumed by what I caught of her conversation.
The nurse I was following led me to a room in the corner, pulled the curtain back and told me to go inside before shutting the curtain behind me. I went in and nearly lost it when I saw him. Frank laid on the bed, a brace around his neck and his body hacked up pretty nicely. He had bandages around his head and left leg. I practically ran to him, thankful his eyes were open because he was awake. "Frankie!" I cried as I knelt down next to him, kissing his bloody (well dried blood) head then stroking his face a bit.
"Gee..." He mumbled and I did all I could not to cry.
"Thank god you're alive babe!" I said, fighting back an ocean of tears. Resting my knees on the floor, I slipped my hand into his and held it tightly, stroking the back of it with my finger as my other hand continued to stroke his face. "I thought I lost you." I whispered.
"'m sorry..." Frank whispered back to me, trying to hold onto my hand but he was too weak to have a tight hold. "I shun' drank n e thing..." He mumbled and my heart nearly broke. I thought Frank knew better than to drink and drive but I wasn't going to yell at him; not until he was better, if ever.
"You're alive and that's what matters." I told him, kissing him again and smiling to try and make him feel better. There was a knock at the door and a moment later a man, I'm assuming the doctor, came in.
"Are you Mr. Iero's family?" He asked me and I nodded; boyfriends are family. "Can I speak to you?" I nodded again, telling Frank I would be right back before kissing his head again and going to the doctor. It hit me that Frank's mother wasn't there which was odd because she had Frank on a leash most days. "I'm doctor Alvarez." He said, extending his hand to me so I shook it hastily. "Mr. Iero was brought here because he was in a very serious car crash."
"Yeah; they called me. Well you guys called me." I said, my hands sweating and mind spinning.
"Well as you can see, Mr. Iero suffered a good beating." I nodded, waiting to hear what would happen to my baby. "We managed to stop the bleeding from his head. Fortunately, he doesn't really have any internal damage; just a few broken ribs. No major organs received any damage though." I sighed slight relief knowing that he wasn't on his death bed. "The brace on his neck is to keep his spine aligned until we get the scans back to see if there is any damage with that. He shattered the bone in his leg and I think possibly received fractures to his pelvic bone. He'll need surgery and a bunch of stitches, not to mention a long stay in the hospital and will probably want to go to counseling after this as well."
"W-why counseling?" I asked, a little apprehensively.
"The car he hit had two small children in it; both of which didn't make it." The doctor said and my heart nearly broke.
"Does he know?" I asked in a whisper and the doctor shook his head. I couldn't imagine Frank's reaction knowing he killed two children by driving drunk. The tears wanted badly to escape again but I managed to keep them in.
"I thought it would be best coming from a family member. Take some of the pain away." Dr. Alvarez told me and I nodded slightly. I knew I would be the one to tell him and I hoped I would have the courage to do so. "For the most part though, we expect a full recovery. It will take awhile, 6 months at least, but he should be just fine." I smiled at that because I wasn't ready to lose Frank; ever. "If you have any questions, please feel free to seek me out. Someone will be coming in in a few minutes to take Mr. Iero up to the ICU. He'll have his first surgery in a few hours. Do you know any of his medical information?"
"No; I'm just his boyfriend. His mom knows all that." I said, pulling my phone out and searching for Mrs. Iero's number. "Here; this is what you can use to contact her. I'm sure she's worried about him." Dr. Alvarez scribbled the number down then smiled before leaving as I went back to Frank. "Babe, I have some really bad news." I said, taking his hand again.
"'m I gonna die?"
"No, no nothing like that." I said in a reassuring voice. "They say you're going to be just fine. You have to have a few surgeries and you have some broken bones but in time you'll be back to your normal self." He smiled very slightly so I took a deep breath before continuing. "T-the car you hit...it had two children in it...they, they didn't make it..." I said and I saw the tears escape Frank's eyes.
"God;" He cried out, squeezing my hand tighter than he did before. "I'm a monster!" I could tell his tears were of emotional and physical pain; no doubt because his body was probably on fire.
"Don't say that Frankie." I said, rubbing his face again. "You made a mistake by drinking and driving." I told him in an attempt to stop his tears, though I knew I couldn't. He was hurting and would hurt all his life, knowing he stopped two lives that night. "Unfortunately, you stopped two lives. Nothing you can do will ever change that."
"Should have been me." Frank said through the tears and my stomach churned.
"Please don't say that baby." I said, my own tears falling to the bed he laid on. "I-I don't know what I would do without you." I whispered to him, taking my hand from his face to wipe my eyes.
"They were children Gee!" Frank was still crying.
"It was meant to be." I said quietly even though I knew he felt horrible; I did too. Taking a child's life is always ten times worse because you are constantly reminded how they never got a chance to find love or know what it's like to do so many things that come with time. I felt really bad for both Frank and the children's family. Both would have a lot of pain and regret on their subconscious all their lives.
"W-what do I do?" He asked hesitantly. "W-what do I say?" I wiped Frank's tears away, holding onto his hand tightly while I tried to calm him.
"You apologize to the family and go see a counselor to help you deal with the pain and regret so it doesn't take over your life." I told him as calmly as I could. "They won't forgive you for awhile but don't let that get to you. They're hurting as much as you."
"'m I in trouble?" Frank was afraid now so I kissed his cut lips, stroking his face again.
"Probably." I admitted. "You might lose your license." Frank squeezed his eyes tightly shut and I kissed him gently again. "You'll probably have to pay a fine."
"W-will I go to jail?" He whispered, extreme fear in his voice.
"I don't think so. You will probably end up in court but you're seventeen. Tell them the truth and nothing else."
"I don't want to go to jail..." Frank whispered again and I could see the fear in his eyes.
"Don't think about that right now. You need to focus on getting better." Right as I said that, a nurse came in and said they were taking him upstairs to the ICU. I nodded, letting go of Frank's hand as they got his bed ready. "I'm going to go tell Mikey everything. He's out in the waiting room. See you in a bit babe." I told him before blowing him a kiss, ignoring the sour looks from the nurses, and heading back to the waiting room.
"How is he?" Mikey asked as soon as I walked out, concern in his voice and eyes.
"Beat up pretty bad." I said, hugging Mikey because it seemed like he needed a hug just as much as I did. "They're taking him to the ICU. He-He killed two children." I whispered and Mikey gasped. "Don't bring it up though. I told him already and he's already freaking out about it."
"What happened?" Mikey asked quietly as we sat back down because we wouldn't be able to visit Frank until they got him all set anyway.
"He was driving drunk." I said painfully and Mikey's mouth fell open a little. "I know; I didn't want to believe it either."
"What will happen to him?"
"He'll probably lose his license and have to pay a fine." I said, sighing and slumping down into the chair a little. "But he's alive." Mikey nodded slowly, more confused than happy. Then again, it was like 3 30 in the morning so when you're dragged from sleep your brain doesn't always process things right away. "He broke ribs, shattered his leg, fractured his pelvic bone, possibly injured his spine, cut open his head, and looks like somebody repeatedly hacked him with a blade."
"Holy fuck..." Mikey gasped, trying to imagine the horrible sight of Frank that I already saw. "He's got to be in a lot of fucking pain..."
"I think he's heavily medicated but probably still feels it to some degree." I sat myself up and rubbed my eyes which wanted to shut as my body begged for sleep. I had to stay awake though; I couldn't sleep until after Frank's first surgery when I knew he was ok. "He has a bunch of surgery he needs too I guess. Doctor said he would get his first one in a few hours. He'll need rehab and counseling after this too. Will take at least six months for him to recover; and that's if they push it."
"Wow..." Mikey's mouth hung open a little as he thought about it. He was Frank's best friend and felt just as much pain as I did. "I can only imagine what he's going through right now."
"You better not ever go through what he's going through." I warned Mikey, looking at him sternly. "I swear to god if you ever drink and get behind the wheel I'll kill you myself; or at least make your life so miserable you'll wish you were dead." Mikey backed away from me a little as I spoke a little harshly to him. There was no way I would let this happen to my little brother; I wish it didn't happen to my boyfriend, who, for the record, I thought knew better. Mikey drank when our parents weren't home, as did I, but he tended to be more loose when drunk and more likely to do something like this than I thought Frank was.
"I-I won't; I promise!" Mikey said and I nodded before standing.
"Shall we go to the ICU?" I asked and Mikey nodded, standing up but still keeping a good distance from me, afraid I was going to lash at him or something. I just smiled and shook my head a little as we left the emergency room and headed to the ICU. I don't know how but somehow I knew exactly how to get there; Mikey saying it was because I could sense Frank. For all I knew, I could.
We sat with Frank for a few minutes before they said they had to get him ready for surgery. We sat in the waiting room of the ICU for hours; neither of us saying a word; not even to Mrs. Iero when she showed up in a frantic state. I don't even think she realized we were there. She ended up leaving for some reason so it was just myself and Mikey who waited to hear what the result was. The doctor told me they expected Frank to make a full recovery but surgery didn't always work out so nicely.
After I would say four hours, a man in green scrubs came in and said Frank was fine; being returned to his room but was still knocked out from the anesthetic. He would be out for a few more hours so no matter how much I wanted to stay, I took Mikey and myself home to get some rest. Mikey went right to his room while I explained the situation to my parents then, when they went back to bed, I went to the kitchen and dumped every can of beer we had down the sink. I never wanted to see it again. From that moment, I vowed never to drink again in my life. And so help me God, I wasn't going to let Frank ever drink again either (I doubt he would do so now anyway).
Over exhausted, I went to my room and laid my phone on the pillow next to me. It would be awhile until Frank would sleep with me again but that was fine with me because, as I've said, he was alive and that's all that really mattered at the moment. It would be a long, painful road to his recovery but I would do anything to help make it easier for him. If I had to, I would be his personal servant. The worst part wouldn't be the physical pain but the emotional pain. He has to live his life knowing that when he was seventeen, he got drunk then got behind the wheel and took the lives of two small children; that was a punishment worse than death.
A/N--- really random ass story that drags out, I know. But it's helping me heal still. How? I'll tell you.
when I was eight, I lost my best friend and her younger brother to drunk driving. They were going to Georgia for the weekend with their uncle who was driving drunk. He lost control of the wheel and, while trying to avoid an oncoming truck, slammed the car into a wall. My friend and her brother went through the front window and into the wall because the impact was so strong; they both died immediately.
also this story comes from an experience earlier this year. A fellow classmate lost his life to stupidity driving. He was in a car with an elder friend and they were going down this road that has a bunch of hills. Attempting to get the car off the ground, the car slammed into the pavement and the driver lost control, slamming into a tree. He got pretty beat up and was rushed to the hospital but he died along the way. I didn't know him all that well but, while everyone blamed the driver, I sympathasized with the driver because it was a stupid mistake that he will have to live with for the rest of his life now. Living with that, in my opinion, is worse than dying.
I also lost my aunt to drunk driving but I didn't really care for her so that's beside the point.
Basically, my 'moral' of this story is be safe when driving (like you haven't heard that four million times). Again, this is written basically to help me deal with the deaths even if they seem so long ago. So; yeah.