Categories > Books > Harry Potter
Harry Potter, The Dark Lord
A big R and X warning! After Harry Potter killed Voldermort, he became the next Dark Lord- with certain benfits to the position. Practically pure smut- not for minors.
?Blocked
Reviews
Harry Potter, The Dark Lord
(#) pi3142 2008-12-09
Yes... the black sisters on the side of the dark, previous killers and yet not able to kiss? Hmm... :-?Harry Potter, The Dark Lord
(#) malaskor 2008-12-09
Nice, but could use a bit more detail/set-up, you just throw a situation at us with the barest of explanations of how it came to be. The story would benefit from some more detail to the plot.
If you want to go for the plot-what-plot angle of porn it needs more porn (well it can use more porn anyway, but without plot even more will be needed :) ).Harry Potter, The Dark Lord
(#) thefirebolt1200 2008-12-09
i read your stuff on ff.net and i have to say it sucks they wouldnt let you put more on there because ive seen some with just as much nc-17 material in other storys and they are still up so update your storys soon because i would like to continue reading themHarry Potter, The Dark Lord
(#) theVerb 2008-12-10
I won't point out the story lacks a story (which it does in spades) because you've warned the reader in the description. So I'll comment on the smut aspect.
It sucks.
It was incredibly rushed and lacked any detail whatsoever. One minute, Harry's standing there, the next he's forced himself upon Bellatrix while Narcissa masturbates, and then he ejaculates. It wasn't exciting, appealing, or arousing. Not in the slightest. Dull and boring is the best description I can give.
Take your time, add details and descriptions, not only for the lemon/smut scenes, but the whole story in general.
Harry Potter, The Dark Lord
(#) DarQuing 2008-12-10
It has potential to be great, you just need to be more descriptive. An overall story would make it even better, but you've already warned us that it'll be mostly just smut. :)
Good start and we've already told you how to make it better. If you need help, don't hesitate to ask. :)Harry Potter, The Dark Lord
(#) Oldwolf 2008-12-11
A great start. Could use some work on details, but still very good.
For future consideration, where was Hermione during this whole mess, not to mention Ginny? Were all of the Weasley's, except maybe Percy, a part of Harry's new uprising? Also, where's Dumbledore?
Just a few thoughts for the future.Harry Potter, The Dark Lord
(#) juanjoseso 2009-01-27
good start I hope you update soon unlike those assholes from ff.net here you can have your story without worring about them taking it off the site
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