Another little oneshot. Pretty short. Let me know what you think.
I try to move on with my life hoping that one day I will move past this and regain a small piece of myself. My whole being seemed to die with you.
They say that two people can become so entwined, so close, that if one dies the other will cease to live.
As a child I would get sympathy bruises and pains when you hurt yourself and you would get them too. Sometimes the pain I felt for you seemed to hurt you more than the pain you felt to begin with.
I wish that the truth could be simple. In reality the truth is never cut and dry there are always going to be two, three, five versions of the same story and the truth is going to lie somewhere beyond all of this.
We can never have the truth, just our perceptions of it, and the perceptions of others which they then try to pass on.
I found out something about you, and now I will never know the closest thing to the truth, your version.
I liked to nuzzle your neck when you held me. I would rest my lips on your neck, just below you ear, and breathe you in.
I miss you.
That’s the truth. My truth. My painful, gut wrenching, unchangeable truth.
I lived my whole life with you, for you, and without you I find I don’t have much life left in me at all.
Sometimes I close my eyes and allow myself to believe that when I open them you will be there.
But then I’m to afraid to open them because of what I know I will see… nothing.
You left me, and I hate you for that. I know I shouldn’t but I do. You left me with nothing else to live for and I hate you for that.
Almost as much as I love you for giving me the time you did.
Death is final in my eyes. I find it hard to imagine a special place we all go to where we all live happily together once the curtain falls.
How can I be so certain of this though, when I find it even harder to believe that I will never hold you in my arms again?
I find myself thinking that there must be something else because what else can there be?
I have to see you again, I have to be with you, I have to love you again because I failed so miserably this time and I need to make this up to you.