Two of two. eeep.
I love you.
How could I have never known? Over the years I never suspected that all of his 'overly-friendly' gesture actually meant anything. I just thought he cared, nothing more, nothing less.
But now I know, and it hurts. It hurts more then anything. Because the feeling was mutual. I had loved him for quite some time. I never thought about it much because I didn't want to act on impulse and ruin our friendship, but now.. now I can't do anything. All I really can do is cry as I watch them take him away. I ran into the ambulance before they could completely shut him in. I needed to be with him. I knew they would try to save him, but he was already gone.
"Only family is aloud in here!" Yelled on of the people who were trying to help.
"I am family." I cried.
"Whats your relation?"
"I.. I'm his husband."
".... Fine. Just don't get in the way. I think he may have a chance."
He didn't. I could tell. It had only been a mere seconds since he'd collapsed on top of me, lifeless, but I know. I know because he's with me. Sitting next to me. Watching me watch him. But then he's gone.
"We can get him!!!"
We can get him
"We're almost at the hospital, and the bullet didn't get his heart. We just have to get a pulse!!"
The ambulance stopped outside of the emergency room where all of the paramedics worked in a fury to get the gurney out and into the hospital. Half-running through the halls, they were still working on him. I followed, never far behind. Although I had my doubts, there was a part of me that held hopes. I remember Gerard always telling me keep the faith. He inspired my tattoo. So now, running throughout this hospital, that was all I had to rely on.. I heard many sounds, and voices coming from Gerard's room. They wouldn't let me inside, so I stood right outside of the doors.
"Clear! One! Two! Three!"
"We've got him! We've got him! We have to hurry! He's still losing blood!"
I fell to the ground in a heap of tears. He's... Alive. Please keep him that way.
It was like my whole body was on fire. All of my senses were on edge. I heard every utensil drop. Every patient walk. Every door open. Every car honk. Every baby cry. Everything. Time was slowing and everything felt like it was on pause. After what appeared to be hours, they wheeled Gerard out of the room. To my great surprise, he didn't have a sheet over his face. He didn't look alive, but he didn't look how he did before.
Gerard was right. All you need to do is keep the faith.
I was spending the night in Gerard's room. Watching his slow breathing. It felt good to watch him breath. To know he was living. To know I still had him. I pushed my chair over to his bedside and gently grabbed his hand. I didn't feel anything back, but as long as I could touch him I was okay.
"Oh, Gerard. I still can't believe you did that." I said, beginning to tear up. "You scared me so much. I don't know what I'd do if you hadn't pulled through." I put my head down on the bed and cried. I noticed a small pad of paper on the side of the desk, I found a pen in the drawer, and I began to draw.
I finished quickly, the paper was minuscule. I folded it, over and over. I placed it in my pocket.
Looking over at the clock for te first time, it blinked 4:27 AM
Gerard is alive, I can sleep peacefully.
I woke up early in the morning. My muscles ached, I did sleep in a hard, plastic chair. But when I looked up, I saw Gerard looking back.
"Oh, Gerard!" I cried, taking his hand and squeezing. "You scared me! I thought I'd lost you!"
"You never would have lost me anyway."
I reached inside my pocket, and pulled out the paper. I transferred it from my hand, to his. I kissed the top is his hand, and a single tear slid down my cheek. Gerard looked at the paper, and smiled.
Keep The Faith
"I love you, Frankie."
"I've always loved you."