... it's day 8.
(#) iwillstakeyourheart 2009-01-04 12:05:29 AM*sigh* I'll tell you how this chapter made me feel. It made me not want to take anything for granted. It made me not want to take things at face value. And it made me have even more faith in you.
And poor loaded Gerard! The way he'd get to that point where he'd just wobble on stage ... then stumble. But he'd never stop singing. Even if he lost his fucking pants he'd still try to be screaming into the mic. Yeah, it's no wonder he was able to muster the determination to get sober in 17 days.
Author's responseYou deserve a hug ... even though you keep posting pics of me in tight pants. Although, I've given in ... and made a new "bio" pic. It's just for you, sugar.
- i liked how u switched POV alot it was great i felt so sorry for kat =[
i would write more intellegent things but im soooo tired ive been up for 2 days straight now my sis asked me if i was on drugs i answered ...yes its called caffeine even tho caffeine really can mess with u O.o this bitch came into my work and i charged her 6 dollars for a bag of peas accidently an she flipped out and gave me evils ha i snapped at her and went off saying who buys peas at 8 in the morning i mean seriously who the fuck does that?
Author's responseIt was nice to write other POVs.
Peas at 8 in the morning? That's some good random there. What makes you wake up and go, "Fuck. I need peas!" That's pretty cracked out if you ask me. xP
(#) HellOnHigh9 2009-01-04 05:19:44 AMThe P.O.V switch thing was interesting to read and Im liking the dream sequences at the beginning of each day they're interesting to read.
As for this 'Day' it made me lose hope and feel depressed. I know that sounds weird and stuff, but the world is a fucking bleak place and a lot of bad shit happens and its hard to ignore it and try to focus on the good especially if it's a constant battle to try and put even the smallest of smiles on your face or to make it through the day itself.
As for the ending of this chapter it reminded me of the Phoenix bird that I first heard about in the harry potter books. Gerard's re-birth is like that. He's a phoenix rising from the ashes.
Looking forward to Day 9. Rate forthcoming.
Author's responseThis day was a weird one. I mean, I only "talk" about the middle of the night part here. There of course was a whole day where other shit happened, but none of it was as important as the middle of the night part here.
After going through the stuff that I have, I just personally felt that in order to feel any better you have to get to the lowest point you can get to and it was death, but I didn't want to die. So I came up with the whole metaphor.
You're right though, sometimes the world is just shit. Anytime I feel like that, I always tell myself that it's ok to feel that every now and then. It's reality. And then inevitably something will come along to put me in a better mood.
The Phoenix rising from its own ashes is a mythological story in many ancient cultures =D
- Another awsome chapter, i really liked the dream sequence, although im a little worryed im going to be dreaming stuff like that now... i have a habit of picking stuff up like that.
I really didn't want Gerard to take that drink for awhile there, i felt so sorry for Kat witnessing that. But i guess after hearing the reason behind what he did it kinda makes a bit of sense.
Oh and also... you had better tell us that drunken story now you have mentioned it because other wise it will plage my mind and bug the crap out of me wondering what it is.
Author's responseThank you!
Ooo for me, it's stuff I see more than stuff I read that can effect my dreams. It's always weird how my head interprets whatever it is too and puts its own spin on it!
Ah yes, the drunken story ... I think I might make that a "flashback" in one of these "days" ...
- The nightmare in this chapter is my fave so far.
I felt really sorry for Kat, but Im glad she listened to Gerard so he cold tell her what was going on.
That pic of Gee...he was right, his leather jacket did fall apart due to sweat.
Cant wait for more !
Author's responseWhat's so wild, is that usually you really don't remember dreams or nightmares ... unless of course they're just really extreme ya know? I can remember a few good reoccurring ones from when I was a kid ... Anyway, I think I only remember these because I would wake up in the middle of the night usually and just fixate on them. They were really vivid. I remember looking on the web during that time for side effects of Xanax withdraw and I came across tons of message boards and stuff where people were going on and on about crazy nightmares and lots of the other stuff I was experiencing. So at least I knew I wasn't going nuts and that eventually that shit would mellow out!
I'm glad Kat listened too.
(#) wheresyourheart 2009-01-04 07:31:19 AMhonestly, this is the only fanfic ive been into lately. whenever i wake up i get right onto ficwad to see if youve updated. haha, that makes me sound like i have no life.
anyway, in this chapter i loved the part about a portrait of an alchoholic, and all of the povs made this chapter more interesting. im anticipating reading about day nine.
ps, what is that sweatshirt your wearing in the bio pic? just curious.
Author's responseWell thank you! I'm obsessing myself over this story ... I'm really trying to do a chapter a day here. =D
The dream and the whole "portrait" part are my personal favs in this one too.
Ahh, the sweatshirt. It's my "heavy rotation hoodie" LOL I get all junked out on like a single jacket or a hoodie or something and then I hardly take it off. ha! I'm wearing it right now. This is a little um, embarrassing but it was kinda originally bought by iwillstakeyourheart for herself but we're about the same size and I just freakin' loved the design on it (It's like some tree branches with no leaves and this flock of birds flying). Uh, she bought it in the chick's department at Urban Outfitters. lol
(#) MCArmyWife 2009-01-04 08:15:20 AMFor me the nightmare was the most touching part of this story. Dreaming of ones own death is a total wake up call. And of course we want to hear any of the stories you will share with us.
Author's responseYeah, that and the part right after it were my own personal favs out of this one. Even before the whole Xanax withdraw thing I would occasionally dream of myself dying - but I'd usually wake up right before it happened or something like that.
The drunk story ... maybe I'll work it into a flashback here .... lol
(#) girlinthemoon 2009-01-04 12:18:41 PMI like the jumpy POV. It shows just how messed up he really is at this point. And I think the nightmare scenes are very well written. And some of the best parts of the chapters.
The “last drink” was...a bit...I don’t know. Not that I think it wasn’t real or needed. And I don’t mean it as a criticism, but I was a little disappointed in him for having it. However I understand the need for the ritual, the real “last drink”.
Another well written chapter. Bravo!
I'm glad you said something about the disappointment factor. I think I mentioned in the note that I really did do that too. I was on 7 days of barely any sleep, feeling totally fucked up, then the part about the therapist asking me about the "last drink" ... somehow my mind took that and ran with it and created this whole "mystique" about that. Like it had to be a ritual ... something I was sure to remember and look back on. I had so almost "made it" by that point too ... and after somehow managing to resist the beer ... to just allow myself "one last drink" was fucked up. iwillstakyourheart WAS disappointed. She cried and she smiled, but I know how she really felt because she told me.
Makes me wonder how many times in those 17 days Gerard slipped ....
But for me, that really was the last one though ... I guess that's the important thing.
Thanks for being real in your reviews =D
- I really liked the way you flipped to Kat's pov, i kept thinking go in and stop him but then i understood why she couldn't do it. I feel like i'm learning something every time i read an update. I used to always think why no one stopped Gerard drinking. I know it's not as simple as that. The video footage of him puking everywhere outside the bus and falling down and only Frank was there to pick him up. My first thoughts were always - where's his brother? I didn't understand it until now. Thank you and i really mean that.
Author's responseYou'll like Day 9 then because I'm planning something special for that =D
I've only seen Life of the Murder Scene like 2x, but that whole video footage of him puking and then passing out gets to me every time. People I know have video footage like that of ME. It's sad really. But if and when you see that stuff, it just reinforces how you don't want to go there again. And yeah, sometimes the hardest thing for your friends is to watch it happen. They know that there's really no such thing as an "intervention" - they can say or try to do stuff, but the person has to WANT to stop doing what they're doing. It becomes more of just your friends/loved ones trying to keep an eye on you - keep you from choking on your on puke and shit like that. It's sad.
And thank you for leaving all these reviews today!
(#) izziebella 2009-01-04 01:50:36 PMthe dream was really well written and very i don't really know the word for it, like I seriously felt it.
I really liked the new POV that you put in here and how it's symbolic about what's going on with Gerard in the moment. I mean nothing seems to relly be steady or guaranteed at the moment.
I felt kinda dissapointed that he drank again, but I guess it was something that he had to do for himself.
This was another amazing chapter.
Oh yeah, I probably won't be reviewing or reading this for a while 'cause I think my dad's taking my computer away since I cussed out his fiancee (or however you spell it.) So yeah, bye for now lol.
Author's responseThank you!
I'm glad you picked up on the symbolism and all that ... and how everything was all kind of "up in the air" ... I wanted to build it up so you really didn't know what was going to happen.
And I'm also glad that people are feeling disappointed about the "last drink". Glad I was able to make you all feel that.
Good luck on the computer thing ... maybe your dad will let you keep it.