Categories > Anime/Manga > Sailor Moon

What Shall We Do?

by Loki-L 0 Reviews

A Sailormoon songfic. (Warning: contains underage drinking!)

Category: Sailor Moon - Rating: PG - Genres: Humor - Characters:  Makoto (Jupiter), Minako (Venus), Usagi (Moon), Ami (Mercury), Rei (Mars) - Published: 2005/05/15 - Updated: 2005/05/15 - 1126 words - Complete

Author's Notes: There has in the past few days been some grumbling about a certain site's decision to ban all works containingg non-original song-lyrics. Many authors have complained that this ban would stifle their creativity and result in the deletion of many well written fics that used timeless, relevant and insightful lyrics crafted by talented bards and poets to set the mood, provide ambience and highlight certain aspects of the plot.
Since this archive has currently no policy against using lyrics, I thought I would give it a try myself. I am somewhat new to the whole concept, but I think I managed to capture the essence of the noble genre of 'Songfics'.

What Shall We Do?

The Sailor-Senshi were in trouble. In the Hikawa Shrine Rei, Minako, Ami and Makoto stood in a circle looking down at the source of their problems.

Celebrating a long day of monster fighting with a bit of Grandpa Hina's secret stash of spirits had seemed like such a good idea not so long ago. They had not planned to take much. Just a glass or so nothing that would be missed. They had earned and deserved it.

It was not as if anybody could say that the girls were to young for a bit of alcohol. If you were old enough to die (and be resurrected) in the defense of Tokyo, Earth and the entire cosmos you were certainly old and mature enough to have a drink.

Except that mature was perhaps a bit too exaggerated a description in some cases. With one thing leading to another no-one had really paid all that much attention to Usagi. If they had spared her any attention at all they had assumed that she was off raiding Rei's Manga collection.

They had only rediscovered her lying snoring on the floor with an empty bottle in her hand, when they had started to clean up the mess hours later because Rei's grandfather would be home soon. Rei had tried to wake Usagi, but it had not been much of an improvement.

It was already late enough to be almost considered morning again, it was clear that Usagi would not walk home under her own power, and nobody knew what to do with the drunken Sailor.

What shall we do with a drunken sailor?
What shall we do with a drunken sailor?
What shall we do with a drunken sailor?
Earl-eye in the morning!


Fighting evil by moonlight and lying about it to your parents was one thing. But trying to hide Usagi's state from her parents was something else entirely. They could not bring her home as she was and they could not leave her here.

Way hay, up she rises
Way hay, up she rises
Way hay, up she rises
Earl-eye in the morning.


Ami thought it would be best to stash the girl somewhere out of the way to sleep it off.

Put him in a long-boat till he's sober.
Put him in a long-boat till he's sober.
Put him in a long-boat till he's sober.
Earl-eye in the morning!


But Rei objected to hiding her anywhere in the temple on account of her snoring.

Way hay, up she rises
Way hay, up she rises
Way hay, up she rises
Earl-eye in the morning.


Rei would rather have them try to wake her even by force if necessary.

Take 'im and shake 'im and try an' wake 'im.
Take 'im and shake 'im and try an' wake 'im.
Take 'im and shake 'im and try an' wake 'im.
Earl-eye in the morning!


But Ami talked her out of it pointing out that such a course of action might well lead to Usagi barfing all over her.

Way hay, up she rises
Way hay, up she rises
Way hay, up she rises
Earl-eye in the morning.


Minako who had had a bit too much to drink herself suggested that they use the opportunity to have a little fun with their unconscious friend and give her a slight makeover. Shaving of the blond hair that she was so proud of might well teach her a lesson.

Shave his belly with a rusty razor.
Shave his belly with a rusty razor.
Shave his belly with a rusty razor.
Earl-eye in the morning!


Rei seriously considered the idea as she was very distinctively not eyeing Usagi's odango's, but Makoto and Ami quickly vetoed the idea.

Way hay, up she rises
Way hay, up she rises
Way hay, up she rises
Earl-eye in the morning.


Makoto came up with the idea of splashing Usagi with cold water to sober her up.

Pull out the plug and wet him all over.
Pull out the plug and wet him all over.
Pull out the plug and wet him all over.
Earl-eye in the morning!


But it seemed that it would take more than a few buckets full to bring her around.

Way hay, up she rises
Way hay, up she rises
Way hay, up she rises
Earl-eye in the morning.


Exasperated Rei finally had enough and bundled Usagi of to the shower.

Put him in the scuppers with a hose-pipe on him:
Put him in the scuppers with a hose-pipe on him:
Put him in the scuppers with a hose-pipe on him:
Earl-eye in the morning!


She might well have succeeded if she had heeded Ami's earlier warning and been a bit more gently with the blonde, but instead she caused her to throw up all over her back as she tried to pick her up.

Way hay, up she rises
Way hay, up she rises
Way hay, up she rises
Earl-eye in the morning.


That had been enough to drive Rei over the edge. Nobody knew where she had suddenly gotten the whip from, but it took all three of the rest of the girls to hold her back from unleashing unholy retribution on the drunken girl.

Give 'im a taste of the bosun's rope-end.
Give 'im a taste of the bosun's rope-end.
Give 'im a taste of the bosun's rope-end.
Earl-eye in the morning!


Although truth to be said all of them could see the appeal of Rei's idea by that point.

Way hay, up she rises
Way hay, up she rises
Way hay, up she rises
Earl-eye in the morning.


Finally Minako came up with the most obvious solution of calling Mamoru in the middle of the night and dumping the problem in his lap. It would no solve anything, but at least it would no longer be them who would have to explain it to anybody.

That's what you do with a drunken sailor
That's what you do with a drunken sailor
That's what you do with a drunken sailor
Earl-eye in the morning!
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