Sunsets can have the craziest effect on people
Disclaimer: Not true. The only thing I own is the plot. I don't know Mikey, Frank or Gerard - if I did I wouldn't spend my time writing about them.
Inspiration: Seasons - Good Charlotte
Credit: One of my friends Carlton wrote the description of the sunset for me, so thanks :)
Laying here I can feel the sun shining down on my face, my eyes are shut but Iknow that if I open them the rays will blind me...well maybe anyway.
Surprisingly though I like it, I mean usually I can't stand the sun, I'd much rather be out at night - everything looks so mystical when illuminated by the moonlight. But everything changed; about a year ago if you want to be specific.
What happened? I was in love with the most beautiful man I know, he was perfect in every way and he was my best friend. Michael James Way. I had him and through my own fault I lost him. Gone forever.
He's amazing - on the inside and out. The way his hair sits perfectly all the time, how his glasses frame the most captivating eyes in the world, how he protects his favourite Anthrax t-shirt like it was a baby, how he's always trying to learn something new, the pride in his voice when he talk about Gerard, and how he cares for and excepts everyone no matter what they've done. Why was I so fucking stupid? I had to mess it all up like I always do, so what we had couldn't be repaired. I don't things can ever be the same...although Iwant them to be.
I remember walks along the beach it summer - on days just like today. It was on one of them walks I finally told him; we were always best friends but I felt something more. I needed to tell him, so I told him all the things inside my head and how special he was to me. Mikey just looked at me and told me to slow down, I didn't realize how fast I was talking but it seemed so surreal, I was on the beach with an amazing person, the sun was beginning to set.
The water that lay quietly restless below mirrored the sky- becoming an ocean of embers. The sea ran up against the gold sand, scolding it with demoniacally cold fire. The Sun slowly slumped out of sky, only to fuse with the embers that is spawned itself, leaving behind it wings, that ran hastily through the sky, filling each cloud, one by one, with a deep orange or crimson red pigment. I was mesmerized. Everything tonight seemed to be perfect. Nothing ever went right for me, but that rule had been broken once and for all.
From then on we shared everything - we stuck by each other when we were afraid, like a night in October when there was a storm; thunder and lightning acting as though it was trying to rip the sky in two. When Elena died - I was there supporting him, I felt his grief and I told him that "everything would get better". I encouraged him to keep faith in himself and I knew he hung on my words. He pulled through better than anyone ever expected him too.
All the little things kept me happy - when Mikey smiled he made me smile, stupid things like that made me feel as though I was complete. So why did I mess it up? Why did I have to sleep with Gerard? We would never do that to Mikey, we love him too much, yet, we both managed to do something so wrong it would break his heart. I couldn't stand the guilt eating away at me like a parasite feeding off its host - causing agony that could never be forgotten. Mikey was distraught, he lost the sparkle in his eyes and you could almost see him break into tiny fragments.
People often wish they can change time, me though never have...until now. Iknow I can do something though. Every time we meet I can still sense the chemistry connecting us and know we should still be together. I need to find him and try and repair what I destroyed. I need him and I know he needs me. I'm barely surviving without him.
I knew I'd find him here, it's the place he goes whenever he feels alone or afraid. My heart is telling me one thing and my brain another...I choose my heart.
I look him in the eye for a few precious seconds and lean in to kiss him. My brain is telling me it's wrong after what I did to him but I can't stop. Before the kiss can deepen Mikey pulls away. I should have expected nothing different after I hurt him so much. He's crying. I can't look at him, he's had so many negative people in his life and I never wanted to become a part of that. "Mikey, you always said that someone out there loves you, and it's true, I love you so much. So much it hurts me to think what I did. You make me feel whole. I want you to love me like I love you. I'll do anything to try and make it better, just love me again Mikey.."
Mikey just stared at me. It was the look he gave when trying to work people out, trying to tell whether they truly meant there words. When his tears ceased he broke his stare. He giggled - at any other time I would have found this cute but I didn't, I was pouring my heart out to him and he was laughing. He could see the look of heartbreak in my watery eyes, and as asingle tear fell down my face and I could taste the salt water he began to speak. He spoke nervously and told me exactly the same. How I made him feel at home, feel as though someone would always be there and how he knew exactly how I felt. I felt as though I was in heaven. The man I was in love with still loved me back.
"Frank..." he seems lost for words."I do still love you." That's all he says. But what I'm not expecting him to kiss me. It's...that word again. /Perfect/. That's all I can describe it as. It's the most love-filled moment I've ever shared with him, and I know he really means what he says.
Who says you can't change the past?
Or at least make it better?