He was a friend, a lover, and a burden all in one.
“He‘s here?” My best friend Mat asked walking up behind me.
“Of course.” I sighed
We both stared down at the snoring boy and shook our heads. It was always like this; Bert would stumble in late at night, intoxicated one way or another and end up crashing on my bed. Always my bed, never the couch nor the floor nor Mat’s bed.
“Help me get him out of my house.” I said to Mat. “I‘m done with him!”
“Allie,” Mat placed an arm around my shoulder. “You’re never done with him”
I knew more then I was willing to admit that I was never ever going to be done with Bert. I couldn’t even begin to explain what he was to me. He was a friend, a lover, and a burden all in one. I loved him unconditionally whether I liked it or not. He always consumed my time, my life and my heart. He is the cause of every scream, tear and laugh that I have ever made. I always figured he was around to make my life miserable, although he tried his hardest not to, he still does. I’ve known him too long to even try and calculating.
The only reason that I needed to keep him around was that I knew deep down he loved me as much as I loved him. At least I hoped.
I shrugged Mat’s arm off my shoulder and pulled the sheets from Bert’s small body. “WAKE UP!” I screamed. Bert flinched and pulled his arms around his head.
“Noooo,” He whined. Mat stepped in front me dragging Bert from the bed and onto the floor. His body hit the ground heavily, causing Bert to snap up in alert.
“Have some consideration.” Bert smirked, and then laughed his ear piercing childish laugh. That was Bert, always cocky and humorous when he shouldn't be.
I attempted to slap him hard across the face but he grabbed my wrist and pulled him down next to him. He smiled slightly and attempted to kiss me. I turned my face and then leaned back in close to his face, his facial hair rubbing against my jaw line and breath hot against my cheek, and I whispered “I hate you.” without any hint of emotion.
He giggled softly and devilishly and held my face in his hands.
“Don’t lie.” He smirked. I turned my face away from him and stood up.
“Gather your things and leave.” I hissed and left the room.
Why I put my self through this is beyond me. He makes me more miserable then I can handle. Bert makes this a game. A game where there are no winners just losers. It's a game with no rules, just twists and turns that makes it difficult and never ending. This kind of game doesn't exist in the real world. A game made up by Bert to see how much he can put me through before I give up.
I listened as Mat scolded Bert as if he were a child. Mat was always left to clean up the mess. He was the one who got Bert together and out the door without Bert making a single fuss, which I can never do. I always felt bad leaving my problems to him, but I couldn’t handle it. I’m stupid. I’m helpless. I love Bert more then he deserves. And I get the bad end of the deal, always. Bert doesn’t care, at all.
I heard the front door shut gently and soft patter of Mat’s feet down the hallway to where I stood.
“Al,” His voice soothed. Tears poured from my eyes before I could even stop them from coming. He wrapped his arms around me and I collapsed into him.
“I’m so sorry.” I sobbed into his shoulder.
“It’s not your fault.”
And it always went like that. It never ended. My life was on repeat and the eject button is jammed.
No matter what Mat said, I knew it was my fault. I enabled Bert to keep coming back and letting him treat me like nothing ever happens.
Mat pulled away and kissed my forehead. His lips were warm and eased some of the pain.
“I have to go to work, dear.” He said softly. I nodded and he left me in the small hallway. I dried my tears and went back to my room. It still reeked of Bert. The smell was repulsive but in a weird way comforting.
My phone beeped from somewhere in my room. I found it on my dresser.
‘1 New Message From Bert’
‘I love you more then you can ever imagine.’
I felt more tears build up in my eyes and spill endlessly down my face. Why does it have to be like this?