(#) Concealed-Convict 2009-03-04Straight up: wtf?! One: it's not Harry Potter. Two: it's not even fanfic Three: your grammar sucks BFDD. I mean; you could at least start your sentences with a capital letter. You've even gone to the effort of writing it up and posting it just to be a complete arse. Where is the point? Don't you have anything better to do with your life. If it's an essay for school shouldn't it be longer. This review is nearly as long as it and any piece of writing I've ever done for school have been at least 1000 words; most hit 2500, a few have reached 4000. The fact that your 'story' is only 279 words long pretty much says it all. This is especially true when you've written it for school. I can't be bothered to point out any more although I feel that I should tell you I could. My advice: use a spell-checker.
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