Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Kerosene
I sat on the roof staring at the full moon in the cloudy sky. Makeup was running down my face/ I felt like screaming. I felt so hopeless. It’s a stabbing feeling when you realize he doesn't care. I've fallen in love. Only once, though. I can almost guarantee he wouldn't stop me from jumping out my second story window. I'm not going to lie. Sometimes I miss him. I miss being loved, and in love. He was my everything. Yet underneath the charm, he really didn't give a shit. I must say I've improved. My mom isn't woken up at two a.m. to find me clawing at my ribs, in a ball crying. It's gotten to the point of acceptance. It doesn't hurt now. The pain is dormant. My heart is vacant. I've given up on love. I've drenched it in kerosene and lit it on fire. Still, I find myself longing for another person. It's natural, I suppose. It began to rain, so I hurried myself into the house, calling my dog Copernicus. I wiped my cheeks with a sleeve so my mom wouldn’t notice the tears. My little brothers and sister were glued to Spongebob as always. Mom was making dinner. My other two brothers busied themselves with video games. I took a towel to Copernicus to dry him from the rain. I set the table, and helped with the munchkins. When all the kids were taken care of, my mom had a moment to catch her breath so she struck up a conversation.
“You know we have new neighbors?”
“Oh, yeah?” I tried to seem interested.
“Mhm, they’ve got a boy a year older than you. I met them this morning. Nice family.”
“Awesome.” My brother distracted me for a moment. He was playing with his food.
“Aiden! Get that carrot out of your nose! What did Mommy tell you about putting food in your mouth?!”
“Mommy says food is for your tummy when you stick it in other places it’s not so yummy.”
Pretty impressive for a four year old, I thought. I couldn’t help but burst out laughing. My mom was a nutcase, sometimes.
“By the way hun, I told his parents you would show him around school. He starts tomorrow.”
“Mommmm.”, I whined.
“He’s a nice boy. Besides, a new friend wouldn’t hurt.”
“Fine. Where do they live?”
“Next door.”
“Great. Now neighbor boy can stalk me.”
“Oh, don’t be such a pessimist.”
“You gotta admit mom, for a pessimist, I’m pretty optimistic.”
“You’re something, you know that?”
“I know. I’m the best. So, what’s this dude’s name?”
“This ‘dude’s --“ My mom attempted hand quotes. Epic fail. “Name is Patrick.”
“Kay. Did you sign me up to be his greeter?”
“Already taken care of.”
She started to get the little ones’ plates, and I helped clear the table and with bath time. It’s something I got used to doing after my dad left. My mom tucked them in and bid me good night. Copernicus jumped in bed, curling up beside me. He looks like a big polar bear, being a great perinese. I rolled over, curious about what this Patrick kid was going to be like. Most likely a douche bag, like all the other guys in this town. A small part of me hoped he wasn’t. If he was, I would just have to grin and bear it.
“You know we have new neighbors?”
“Oh, yeah?” I tried to seem interested.
“Mhm, they’ve got a boy a year older than you. I met them this morning. Nice family.”
“Awesome.” My brother distracted me for a moment. He was playing with his food.
“Aiden! Get that carrot out of your nose! What did Mommy tell you about putting food in your mouth?!”
“Mommy says food is for your tummy when you stick it in other places it’s not so yummy.”
Pretty impressive for a four year old, I thought. I couldn’t help but burst out laughing. My mom was a nutcase, sometimes.
“By the way hun, I told his parents you would show him around school. He starts tomorrow.”
“Mommmm.”, I whined.
“He’s a nice boy. Besides, a new friend wouldn’t hurt.”
“Fine. Where do they live?”
“Next door.”
“Great. Now neighbor boy can stalk me.”
“Oh, don’t be such a pessimist.”
“You gotta admit mom, for a pessimist, I’m pretty optimistic.”
“You’re something, you know that?”
“I know. I’m the best. So, what’s this dude’s name?”
“This ‘dude’s --“ My mom attempted hand quotes. Epic fail. “Name is Patrick.”
“Kay. Did you sign me up to be his greeter?”
“Already taken care of.”
She started to get the little ones’ plates, and I helped clear the table and with bath time. It’s something I got used to doing after my dad left. My mom tucked them in and bid me good night. Copernicus jumped in bed, curling up beside me. He looks like a big polar bear, being a great perinese. I rolled over, curious about what this Patrick kid was going to be like. Most likely a douche bag, like all the other guys in this town. A small part of me hoped he wasn’t. If he was, I would just have to grin and bear it.
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